Walking Dead/Fear The Walking Dead And The Big Question

I’ve been thinking about the end of the world a lot lately. Perhaps, it is because I looked at all 4 seasons of Fear The Walking Dead within two weeks. The shows that showcase the crashing of civilization like my book The Last Love Story all leave out the real struggle. Why am I now thinking about storing up pads and tissue? Could it be because it is that time of the month, or is it because one of these days a horde of females might need these goodies to save the world.

There’s always one thing missing when writers talk about the end of the world in regards to women. To be fair, I have been there too. Sometimes we leave out the real stuff. You are writing this story and you want to show this woman as a bad ass, but you don’t want to show the real side of being a woman. So, we leave out the talk about periods and the reactions they have on our body.

I think back to my two novellas dealing with end of the world stuff and not once do I mention cramps, pads, or cramping so horribly that you can barely walk. If the world ended this week, I would be done for. There would be no walking ten miles, picking up pikes or bursting through houses. I would be chocolate covered zombie food with a hint of salt. I promise book three will have periods and the fear of running out of tissue because that is the struggle. Walking into the bathroom discovering a lack of tissue has never been so scary.

AMC/Fear The Walking Dead, make one of those boxes have pads or tampons to give us hope. We can’t be destined for a future of no sanitary items, or could we?

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Don’t Be Afraid To Ask About Sexual Issues.

We all have our shy moments. In the beginning of my marriage I couldn’t bring myself to say penis around my husband because it made be blush like crazy. So, I would say “woo woo” or something else just because I was so uncomfortable with saying the word!! After the birth of my second child things started to change. I went from having to take Motrin after sex pre second child to not really knowing how to feel about the sexual encounter post second child.

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I would ask my husband if he was satisfied and of course he would say yes. Then he would ask me and I would lie and give the same response. After a few weeks I started to get concerned. I went for a check up one afternoon and confessed my issues to my doctor. I was like I have a problem. She turned around and asked me what was going on. I informed her that I could no longer feel my husband. It was an awkward thing to say, but I wasn’t ready to give up my sex life at 24 or 25 years old.

She performed some test with her fingers and I found out why I couldn’t enjoy sex. My muscles were shot after giving birth to my daughter. I had an episiotomy with my second child which from my understanding wasn’t all that great for my muscles. Nobody informed me how important the kegels would be after the episiotomy, so the appointment was a must. She then informed me that I needed to do like 200 kegels a day to get my muscles back to semi normal. So, me being the overachiever I am, I decided to do like 500 a day until things got back to normal.

The point is, do not be afraid to ask your doctor about things that you might be too embarrassed to bring up in the bedroom. Sex is a beautiful thing, but it’s not so beautiful if only one person enjoys it. A few years ago a woman saw a passion mark on my neck and was like do you and your husband still have sex!! I started laughing and blurted out about four times a week like normal people! Then she looked concerned, she told me she was newly married and that she and her husband only had sex once every three months. One controlling factor in her bedroom was pain. That is something a doctor would be able to help her with. So, do not be afraid to talk to your OBGYN and tell them about pain, lack of feeling or anything that you think sounds strange for your body. Enjoy life!!

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Period Blues

I now have a calendar posted on my blog and I wanted to take the time out to talk about it. You will notice some weeks I do better than others. This week has been horrible and I think it has something to do with PMS. I’m so irritable right now, I want to cry for no reason, and I feel depressed. I hate feeling sad for no reason at all. I mean it’s like I know I shouldn’t be, but I just want to cry. I really hate PMS.

Does anyone else have really horrible mood swings on their cycle? This is when being a woman sucks. I wonder if men who have the sex changes get periods. I mean it would only be fair, right? The things we have to put up with when it comes to our bodies are just crazy. Yeah !

Sometimes You Have To Learn Things For Yourself.

It’s interesting when you grow up in the country. You never seem to run out of biscuits or old wives tales. My mother bless her heart was unique. She was a hard working lady who loved us desperately. She raised us the only way she knew how which was by following her old wives tales guide, to staying healthy.

#1. You couldn’t eat watermelon and ice cream. She swore instant death if you ever consumed both at the same time. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve had both because somewhere deep down in the dark pits of my mind, I hear that voice warning me of a fatal outcome.

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#2. You couldn’t take a bath while you were on your period. It was also a constant killer of young teens, at least that’s what I was told. So, for the first few years of having my period, I must have been ripe as those watermelons. I remember asking the school nurse about it and having her look at me like I was crazy. Needless to say, I soon started taking baths on my period, and I never died from it.

#3. You couldn’t let a man give you oral sex or it would drive him crazy. I’m guessing it was in the same box as peeing in someone’s tea or something. She told me this after I married my husband! I’m not going there, but yeah moving on.

#4. You couldn’t eat fish and ice cream. Fish and ice cream was another combination of things that would kill you, so my mommy said!! That’s another combination, I think I’ve stayed away from because somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear that voice!

The next thing really pushed us apart to be honest. I knew it was just another one of those things that she picked up from the older people, but it still hurt me. She got sick shortly after I married my husband and had my daughter. She came down with autoimmune hepatitis. We really didn’t know much about the disease or where it came from, but we knew it wasn’t something we wanted associated with my mother. Bless her heart, she swore up and down that she got it because she had been around my newborn baby at that time. She said that my husband’s blood and my blood weren’t supposed to mix and that it made her ill because she was around my baby. Interracial marriages in her mind created her sickness.

I didn’t know how to take it to be honest, so I got angry. I never told this to anyone, but it hurt me so badly that she could even think such a thing. In the back of my mind I wondered if that played a role into her not coming to help me after the birth of my second baby. I came down with a bad case of postpartum depression. I was having vivid dreams of smothering my baby. I remember calling and begging for someone to come to me because I was scared I would do something to her, but nobody came. I told my husband about the dreams and he really became my rock. I don’t know what I would have done without him in those months. Anyway it’s 3:16 in the morning and I just felt like walking down memory lane. Here’s a list of things I had to learn for myself.

One Mighty Word. LOVE

I’ve been married for almost 22 years come next month. Sometimes marriage can be easy, but then there are times when it can be very hard. Yet, I wouldn’t trade either times because they make us who we are. I got married at a very early age. My husband and I were both 20 and we got married not because we were in love, but because we hated the idea of dating.

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Dating was horrible for me, I didn’t like dealing with people who had a slight allergic reaction to the truth, so I had all but sworn dating off, until I met my husband. I remember telling him at the tender age of 19 that I wanted to get married and that I wasn’t into dating for six months to a year because those people never got married. Yes, it is safe to say, I knew it all!!!

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After the wedding “Courthouse” I soon departed the DFW to start my life as my husband’s wife. We dated only three and half months, so we really didn’t know each other as we should have. On our way to Killeen, Texas we got into an argument about race relations. Jon isn’t African American and my experiences with race were totally foreign to him. So, here we are on our way to our new place and a conversation on race starts.

He talked about being sick of hearing black people use the race card and then my ears started to ring. I was like oh no, my husband is a racist, and it’s against me!!!I remember asking why did he feel that way and then he blurted out, just what have black people done for this country? I looked at him and politely smiled. I then spent the next three hours explaining what inventions black people had made, social advancements, and foods that he couldn’t live without.

Looking back on those days I am thankful, God blessed me to find my best friend in my husband, and I’m grateful my husband listened to me on that ride home. On that road two things became crystal clear that afternoon. Marriage wouldn’t be simple and communication was a very important key. It took us two years to really fall in love, I know it sounds horrible, but it’s true. Our marriage started out being about commitment and then it turned into love. We now have both elements in our relationship which makes it easy to wake up to the same man every morning. I guess it’s true, marriage is what you make it.

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Momville: Stories For Moms Who THOUGHT They Knew It All, Just Like I Did!!!!


“I heard a Fly buzz – when I died –
The Stillness in the Room
Was like the Stillness in the Air –
Between the Heaves of Storm –

The Eyes around – had wrung them dry –
And Breaths were gathering firm
For that last Onset – when the King
Be witnessed – in the Room –

I willed my Keepsakes – Signed away
What portion of me be
Assignable – and then it was
There interposed a Fly –

With Blue – uncertain – stumbling Buzz –
Between the light – and me –
And then the Windows failed – and then
I could not see to see -”
I heard a Fly buzz – when I died –

The Stillness in the Room
Was like the Stillness in the Air –
Between the Heaves of Storm –

The Eyes around – had wrung them dry –
And Breaths were gathering firm

For that last Onset – when the King
Be witnessed – in the Room –


I willed my Keepsakes – Signed away
What portion of me be
Assignable – and then it was
There interposed a Fly –



With Blue – uncertain – stumbling Buzz –
Between the light – and me –
And then the Windows failed – and then
I could not see to see –

Emily Dickinson

I decided to start Momville after looking at all the stories I had posted in relation to my children. It’s not a self help series, it’s more of a series that shows, we aren’t perfect. Momville includes questions that come with parenting and issues with learning how to let go. I’m a mother of three girls and one of them is about to be married in six months. My youngest is 13 and many of my postings in Momville will be about raising that 13 year old and the 17 year old with their unique way of seeing life.

My youngest is a YouTube personality, she is also in tennis, theater, and choir. This is the first time we’ve had a child on a sport’s teem. My oldest daughter is pretty much a computer geek, and the middle one, wants to be a chef or an actress. She is in theater, culinary arts and her normal high school schedule. I spend a lot of time talking about mental health issues because I have that in my family. I don’t like to hide it because I know I’m not alone. Plus, I think it helps to know that others are going through some of the same situations that you might be going through. My nightly conversations all tend to be geared towards pushing down walls and letting people in.

The thing about Momville is that it’s here to remind people that we are human. I went from thinking I knew everything about being a GOOD mom to understanding that I wasn’t the best mom in the world. As a matter of fact, I was letting my job get in the way of being a mom. It took me seeing a family grieve over the death of their daughter to make me see mine in a totally unrelenting view. I knew from that moment on, there was no job greater than being the mother to my girls and being there in their times of need. So, enjoy the stories found in Momville and think of how you can make your own. Above all else, just know, we are all in this together.

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Please Remember The Greatest Will

After I left my job as an investigator, I promised to do something that would help to bring encouragement to families dealing with child abuse. I’ve always supported the idea of keeping children within the family if possible and this book really shows how one family risked it all to do that. I would love for you to read it if you find the time, but more importantly, I would love for you to understand the issue at hand.

There are so many children in the foster care system and many of those children turn out to be victims of street life. Many of the children run and we are now finding that they are also often pursued by sex traffickers. Children in the system are at a much higher risk of being recruited into that lifestyle due to them not having a way out of the system. It is extremely hard to place teens and if that teen has any mental health issues, it’s even harder.

If anything, I want to bring awareness to the fear of being separated through the eyes of a child and how certain areas remove without trying to keep the family together. My ex boss stated that she would purposely stay away from PD’s that wanted to try to keep the children in PCSP homes which is a placement option with family members or people close to that family. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when the family isn’t an option. However, if they can prove to be good, protective, and stable for these children, they should be viewed as an option. My ex boss would staff with removal happy PD’s and I found that alarming. She actually bragged about being the removal queen and staying away from PCSP’s which meant she was moving towards the state most of the time instead on trying to check family members out.

I had many arguments with people about doing the right thing instead of the easy thing. We really need to change the system and make sure all efforts are being made to keep children within their family units if the family proves to be safe. Write to your local leaders and talk to them about reporting, updated laws, and the need for new laws while dealing with social services. Nobody should be victimized twice.