Update: My Husband’s VA Appointment

I’m officially back off of my hiatus. So, a quick recap of things that have been going on since I’ve been MIA. My husband had his c&p appointment for sleep apnea yesterday. This claim was literally filed around January 31st.

We got the appointment that a C&P have been scheduled two days ago. It’s possible it could have been 3 days ago, but the point was we had two days to pretty much plan everything around going to a c&p exam, which was about 50 miles away.

So, we go all the way out to Round Rock and the appointment doesn’t even last 10 minutes,Y’all. I kid you not, we drove all the way to Round Rock for some nurse practitioner that asked my husband maybe six questions.

These are the situations that our vets are in when it comes to exams scheduled by the VA. Can you tell me about any exam you’ve ever been to that doesn’t even last 10 minutes?

Luckily, I wrote a whole page prior to us arriving at the clinic so at least he was able to give that to the nurse practitioner. She wouldn’t let me in, so my notes were able to do the talking.

My husband is currently at 90% disability for the VA and he was diagnosed with sleep apnea last month. My husband isn’t overweight and doesn’t suffer from allergies or sinus anything like that. He had a back surgery in 2009 that basically ended up messing up a lot of his nerves and stuff. Not only did it mess up his nerves, but it also managed to mess up the top part of his neck.

After doing a lot of research, I found out that neck problems are one of the reasons veterans develop sleep apnea. Another research found sleep apnea is a direct correlation with depression. My husband suffers from major depression. We’ve been pretty much fighting for months over his retroactive pay. It’s frustrating because we’re still waiting on a settlement that was granted all the way back in August and the only thing we keep hearing is well it’s a lot of entitlement coming from years ago.

Okay, but it’s been seven months, with VA messing up on appointments and not knowing what’s going on with his case. At this rate I don’t really trust anyting Veteran Affairs tells people, I feel like they employ a lot of dishonest examiners to do appointments.

The clinic we went to yesterday was a LHI clinic. If you’ve never been to one of these LHI appointments, let me fill you in on what happens. The examiners do not listen to the soldiers, they do not seem to be qualified in many of the illnesses that the soldiers suffer from.

We have yet to see an actual service-connected issue gain service connection from a LHI clinic. All service connection disorders are coming from the VA examiners. LHI are contracted out by the VA to conduct exams. It looks like they are contracted to interfere with veterans getting fair decisions. Often times their decisions are overturned in court. I know no other organization that receives as many lawsuits as the VA and still manages to stay afloat.

Oh well.

Road Map To My 22nd Anniversary

  1. Year One- Sex wasn’t the answer to all things.-Killeen, Texas.
  2. Year Two- Setting the alarm 30 minutes early was the key. Killeen, Texas.
  3. Year Three- My husband was a wonderful father. Fort Irwin, California.
  4. Year Four- Being pregnant sucks! Fort Irwin, California.
  5. Year Five- Living in a different country is easy when you are with your husband. Baumholder, Germany.
  6. Year Six- Nothing like the absence of your husband at your mother’s funeral because of war. Garland, Texas.
  7. Year Seven- Taking down welcome home signs after you learn your husband’s unit will be the first to stay beyond the allotted time in a war zone. Baumholder, Germany
  8. Year Eight- The only way to get out of the vasectomy after this pregnancy is over my dead body. Baumholder, Germany.
  9. Year Nine- Admitting that I didn’t know all I thought I knew about marriage. Savannah, GA.
  10. Year Ten- Dealing with addiction and remorse. Savannah, GA.
  11. Year Eleven- Talking to divorce lawyers because some situations are just too hard to deal with. Garland, Texas
  12. Year Twelve- Having to look my husband in the face and deal with our demons without being able to walk away. Clarksville, Tennessee
  13. Year Thirteen- Starting over. El Paso, Texas
  14. Year Fourteen- Being there through a tough surgery. El Paso, Texas.
  15. Year fifteen- Finally figuring out the Army was more of a hindrance to our family. El Paso, Texas
  16. Year Sixteen- Living with family members suck more than you know. Garland, Texas
  17. Year Seventeen- Nothing like being back on your own. Garland, Texas
  18. Year Eighteen- Transitioning from parents of young kids to parents of children old enough to date. Garland, Texas
  19. Year Nineteen- Being thankful that my husband was able to be there with me through my father’s death. Garland, Texas
  20. Year twenty- Finding my own calling is the key to my happiness. Garland, Texas
  21. Year twenty-One- Making sure we never forget those special nights. Garland, Texas
  22. Year Twenty-Two- Understand that life doesn’t last forever, so enjoy each other while you can. Somewhere in Texas!
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Sometimes You Have To Learn Things For Yourself.

It’s interesting when you grow up in the country. You never seem to run out of biscuits or old wives tales. My mother bless her heart was unique. She was a hard working lady who loved us desperately. She raised us the only way she knew how which was by following her old wives tales guide, to staying healthy.

#1. You couldn’t eat watermelon and ice cream. She swore instant death if you ever consumed both at the same time. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve had both because somewhere deep down in the dark pits of my mind, I hear that voice warning me of a fatal outcome.

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com
Photo by Sourav Mishra on Pexels.com

#2. You couldn’t take a bath while you were on your period. It was also a constant killer of young teens, at least that’s what I was told. So, for the first few years of having my period, I must have been ripe as those watermelons. I remember asking the school nurse about it and having her look at me like I was crazy. Needless to say, I soon started taking baths on my period, and I never died from it.

#3. You couldn’t let a man give you oral sex or it would drive him crazy. I’m guessing it was in the same box as peeing in someone’s tea or something. She told me this after I married my husband! I’m not going there, but yeah moving on.

#4. You couldn’t eat fish and ice cream. Fish and ice cream was another combination of things that would kill you, so my mommy said!! That’s another combination, I think I’ve stayed away from because somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear that voice!

The next thing really pushed us apart to be honest. I knew it was just another one of those things that she picked up from the older people, but it still hurt me. She got sick shortly after I married my husband and had my daughter. She came down with autoimmune hepatitis. We really didn’t know much about the disease or where it came from, but we knew it wasn’t something we wanted associated with my mother. Bless her heart, she swore up and down that she got it because she had been around my newborn baby at that time. She said that my husband’s blood and my blood weren’t supposed to mix and that it made her ill because she was around my baby. Interracial marriages in her mind created her sickness.

I didn’t know how to take it to be honest, so I got angry. I never told this to anyone, but it hurt me so badly that she could even think such a thing. In the back of my mind I wondered if that played a role into her not coming to help me after the birth of my second baby. I came down with a bad case of postpartum depression. I was having vivid dreams of smothering my baby. I remember calling and begging for someone to come to me because I was scared I would do something to her, but nobody came. I told my husband about the dreams and he really became my rock. I don’t know what I would have done without him in those months. Anyway it’s 3:16 in the morning and I just felt like walking down memory lane. Here’s a list of things I had to learn for myself.