Dave Chappelle Take It Or Leave It

A lot of people are up in arms about Dave Chappelle’s Sticks and Stones Special on Netflix. He has a little bit of everything going on, but above all he has freedom of speech. In many ways people are proving him right in regards to how we deal with hot topics in America. We are a country that prides ourselves for freedom of expression in everyway, but it is only certain ideas that we want to give acceptance to.

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I am not a lover of comedy, but I watched his special. I found some parts to be funny at times, but I also found some of the jokes to be a little too much. I respect his right to tell his jokes without backlash due to nature of his profession. Comedians or jesters have been known to provoke feelings since the beginning of comedy. In the old days they would make fun of royalty by talking about state issues that many would be too afraid to bring up. To some degree that is what Dave Chappelle accomplished with his special.

Some of the hot topics he talked about needed to be addressed. I mean take the LGBTQ topic and really think about it. I find it a little confusing and movement like today. I didn’t see it that way years ago, but after seeing the different branches that have come from the base, it now looks like a movement. It keeps evolving every couple of years. You now have pansexual, skoliosexual, bisexual, homosexual, lesbian, gay, transsexual and queer. I mean what’s next? I do not understand why we have to have so many different names for people liking people. It isn’t that complex, you like who you like.

I think the really interesting part about this current transformation is that people are easily moved to agree with anything. I am kind of scared of what comes next to be honest. Every two years or so we see a new sexuality being added and I think that is dangerous. Today we might not see anything that can harm anyone, but that isn’t to say that things will not change in a few years. It is just very confusing because people championed for rights to be one thing, but then crossed over into something else.

If you champion for rights to be gay, then you move back to being straight or move to be both, then how important were those rights in the first place? It just looks like a movement dipped in confusion. Take that and the ability for people belonging in the group to suppress others and their opinions and it makes things even more confusing. On one hand people want to fight for the freedom to practice their rights to love whomever they want to love, but on the other hand the same people would oppress others to have a difference in opinion.

Yet, at the end of the day, it all comes back to people being able to pick whom they once were. After so many laws were passed to protect the lifestyle, it seems like there is a change once again. I can’t think of any targeted group within history that has given up their rights to be who they are, only to make new terms which bring them back to the person they were prior to the new laws. I think pansexual is a path to walking back to being straight. Which is why I told my daughter to hold off on labels and just take it day by day. If we stop labeling each other and just live, we wouldn’t have to keep trying to justify our choices, we could just simply be.

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Just to be clear, I am not questioning anyone’s right to change, but if people end up changing back to their first sexuality, what does it mean for the laws that were put in place? Was it just simply a lifestyle change?

Support Doesn’t Mean You Have To Agree

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I have been sitting on something for a while now. I wanted to share it with you, but I was afraid of how it would be taken. About a month ago my daughter came to me and said she was bisexual. It was a little surprising because she has liked guys forever. Guys are plastered all over her wall and on her phone. I asked her when did she start liking girls and she said maybe a month ago, then said months ago. I then asked well what did she mean when she said she liked girls and how did she know that she was bisexual. She then told me whenever she saw movies with girls kissing that those movies made her feel funny inside.

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I went on to ask what do you mean funny inside? She then stated that she found girls attractive. I informed her that just because she found girls pretty didn’t mean that she was bisexual. I told her I find a lot of women pretty, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with them. I asked her if she wanted to have sex with girls, and she frowned. So, of course by this time, I am paying close attention to the frown. Why was there a frown?

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So, then I asked her again, what makes you think that you are Bisexual? Keep in mind one of her best friends at the time was bisexual and the other was gay. She replied that she knew it just because and then stated a mouth full of other things that confused both she and I. I told her to just wait and give it some thought because what might seem like the thing to be today might not seem like the thing to be a week from now.

Well a few days ago she reported that she was back with her ex boyfriend and of course I asked about the bisexual thing that she had brought up about two or three weeks ago. She stated that she loves her boyfriend and that she isn’t bisexual after all. It got me thinking about the time I went out with a girl as a teenager. I am not sure why I did it, but I did. However, I was never forced to marry the idea of being gay or bisexual. I think sometimes we inadvertently force our children into being something that they might not be because we want to seem cool and supportive.

Perhaps, the best thing we can do is listen and give our guidance. It’s funny we give guidance when it comes to college, money, careers, but for some reason we try to shy away from talks about sexuality. If our children are going to commit to anything, they need to understand the full meaning of what they are making a commitment to. I can’t promise that she might not come back in two weeks wanting to date girls, but I can promise that she has a clearer understanding of what it means to be bisexual. “I see it all the time!” In my opinion is never a reason to do something. It only made me think that she was confused.

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I guess in the end I look at it this way. I am not arranging a marriage of any sort on my children, nor would I arrange an identity on them. If we talk about something and it is clear that this is who they want to be, then this is who they will be, but if I see confusion, it is my job to call it out. Right or wrong, I am mom.