Our daughter came home last night and told us about a female student who was clearly showing signs of distress. My husband and I both informed her that she needed to talk to her school counselor about the student in question. After we picked her up today from school, we asked her if she talked to the counselor and her reply with unfortunate.
“Mom, I really don’ t think they care. When I talked to the counselor, she didn’t really seem to want to hear it.”
We both stated that she had done her job and now it was time for the school to do their job and follow up with the report. Right now children are looking and they are paying attention, more than ever. If you work in a school and see problematic behavior, you must act. If you think your role isn’t important, think again. You are a lifeline, a lifeguard and even the it factor in some of the children’s lives.
About four year ago, I got the chance to go to a conference and see Kevin Hines as one of the main speakers. It was an eye opening experience in how we should all be dealing with people who show signs of distress. You don’t wait, you check it out.
Why didn’t we have school shootings and massive bullying when we were younger? It is mainly because of one word and it begins with the letter P and ends with the letter S. PARENTS! We talk about guns and mental health a lot in this country. However, I haven’t heard people talking about the lack of discipline in our country because of fear. When we allowed the government to come into our houses and take on the position as the silent parent, we opened the door for disruption.
Some of you might find it ironic as hell that I am taking this position, but there’s a reason behind it. When I was in the academy for investigator training, one of the first things we learned was that the majority of CPS cases would be fictitious. I didn’t want to believe it because surely 85 percent of cases couldn’t really be just parents, trying to be parents. However, after I graduated the academy and cases started coming in, I soon learned the dark side of reporting.
While a handful of my cases were actual abuse, the majority of my cases were not abuse. Many of them were cases with teens or preteens who were out of control. Some of the children were so out of control that their parents could no longer afford to take care of them. In many ways, we have the government to thank for this epidemic. Parents are scared to parent because anything and everything can be used against them when it comes to reporting.
We are talking about in some cases parents raising their voices, spanking, removing doors, and talking to children about their weight issues, these are some of the things that parents did to get CPS called on them which always resulted in Rule Outs. The calls would come from clinics, schools, family members, or people involved in custody fights.
A single mother was using a provider for her newborn and she didn’t feel like the doctor was really showing the level of concern that she needed, so she switched providers. The clinic called in a case on the new mom with a load of lies which were easily picked apart due to records. I have always and will always say CPS needs a new screening method. The current method does more harm than good. If you have a reporting system that lets retaliatory accusations flourish then you have a broken system.
There needs to be some form of punishment for false accusations because there are too many false allegations that result in stagnated parenting. Good parents become fearful of future calls and stop reinforcing rules out of fear of future CPS interactions. This fear then spreads to family members and friends which later interrupts how the family is able to parent. Keep in mind in order to close cases investigators must contact references even if the case happens to be fictitious. Thus spreading fear of how and what parents can do to parent their children.
Enter in the wayward child that we see today. Parents cannot parent due to fear of the government and the government is not equipped to take on the full responsibility of parenting all the children they have helped corrupt. So people reach for medication or therapy when perhaps the only thing they needed in the first place was the ability to parent their children without the fear of the government.
I have been sitting on something for a while now. I wanted to share it with you, but I was afraid of how it would be taken. About a month ago my daughter came to me and said she was bisexual. It was a little surprising because she has liked guys forever. Guys are plastered all over her wall and on her phone. I asked her when did she start liking girls and she said maybe a month ago, then said months ago. I then asked well what did she mean when she said she liked girls and how did she know that she was bisexual. She then told me whenever she saw movies with girls kissing that those movies made her feel funny inside.
I went on to ask what do you mean funny inside? She then stated that she found girls attractive. I informed her that just because she found girls pretty didn’t mean that she was bisexual. I told her I find a lot of women pretty, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with them. I asked her if she wanted to have sex with girls, and she frowned. So, of course by this time, I am paying close attention to the frown. Why was there a frown?
So, then I asked her again, what makes you think that you are Bisexual? Keep in mind one of her best friends at the time was bisexual and the other was gay. She replied that she knew it just because and then stated a mouth full of other things that confused both she and I. I told her to just wait and give it some thought because what might seem like the thing to be today might not seem like the thing to be a week from now.
Well a few days ago she reported that she was back with her ex boyfriend and of course I asked about the bisexual thing that she had brought up about two or three weeks ago. She stated that she loves her boyfriend and that she isn’t bisexual after all. It got me thinking about the time I went out with a girl as a teenager. I am not sure why I did it, but I did. However, I was never forced to marry the idea of being gay or bisexual. I think sometimes we inadvertently force our children into being something that they might not be because we want to seem cool and supportive.
Perhaps, the best thing we can do is listen and give our guidance. It’s funny we give guidance when it comes to college, money, careers, but for some reason we try to shy away from talks about sexuality. If our children are going to commit to anything, they need to understand the full meaning of what they are making a commitment to. I can’t promise that she might not come back in two weeks wanting to date girls, but I can promise that she has a clearer understanding of what it means to be bisexual. “I see it all the time!” In my opinion is never a reason to do something. It only made me think that she was confused.
I guess in the end I look at it this way. I am not arranging a marriage of any sort on my children, nor would I arrange an identity on them. If we talk about something and it is clear that this is who they want to be, then this is who they will be, but if I see confusion, it is my job to call it out. Right or wrong, I am mom.
Interracial marriages still face problems that many people do not truly understand. I think many people are under the impression that interracial marriages are fully accepted now because we see more couples in interracial relationships. However, what many people do not see is the struggles that still exist surrounding the couples on a day to day basis. Just take the gallery that I use for my blog pictures for example. There were plenty of pictures showcasing loving relationships, but hardly any of them were of interracial relationships.
When Meghan Markle married Prince Harry over a year ago many like myself were over the moon! It was a win for love and one more nail in the coffin for racism, so we thought. You see more couples that choose to marry outside of their race today, but what you do not see is the racism that comes with that choice. I recall the first time I witnessed issues stemming from my marriage some years ago. We went to a retreat near Big Bear which showcased how couples were supposed to communicate with each other. After our lessons were over, the couples would all head towards the cafeteria and mingle. My husband and I weren’t approached by anyone and to make matters worse later that night we had to share the room with a couple that seemed to be fixated on what being black meant. Later on we would get looks from others. We would also have incidents were certain people would try to pick at the spouse that wasn’t the “correct” race.
What we are seeing today with The Duchess of Sussex and The Duke of Sussex is the real face of acceptance. Nobody wants to admit to being a bigot, but with the curtains now pulled back, we are seeing that bigotry is alive and well. Don’t get me wrong, we have made advances in gaining the right to marry who we want to marry. However, attitudes are still somewhat jaded by many when it comes to interracial marriages. Do you recall the commercial that sparked a debate on interracial marriage just 6 years ago.
Pick any high profile couple that happens to be married to someone outside of their race and ugly comments are not far away. After Matthew McConaughey married Camila Alves there were comments about how he could have done so much better. Never mind she is drop dead gorgeous, but some still felt that she was not fit to be his wife because she wasn’t white. Comments were made after Serena Williams married Alexis Ohanian and so on. Anytime you see a interracial marriage, get ready to see ugly comments. People have been called race traders, nigger lovers, mud sharks, Oreo cookies, and other hurtful names.
The best part of it all, at least in my opinion, is that interracial couples are increasing at a higher rate. My soon to be son-in-law is white and my other daughter’s boyfriend in Chinese. The hate hasn’t scared people away from being people. It shows that even though racism still occurs, it isn’t turning people away from wanting to be with the ones they love. As for my relationship, the looks and the ignorance made us stronger as a couple. The harder people looked us, the tighter we held onto each other. It was us against the world and it has been that way for almost 23 years now. So, let’s hope The Duke and Duchess learn how to embrace to power of love and true unity because their love is a love that will be tested. However, pressure creates diamonds, so let the hate keep coming, their love will just keep shining.
And we are off! Alison has to be at swim class in 42 minutes. Yes. I said it right, she is in swim class. I am really thankful I taught her how to swim about two years ago, but I am willing to bet they might have to go over a few things. She has a really demanding schedule for this year. Ariana is taking ROTC this year which is different. When we lived in Garland, the school wanted her to take ROTC for the Air Force, but she chickened out. She isn’t overly happy about ROTC, but it might help her with self discipline.
As for me, I’m scared and excited all at once. I am scared because I need to be something I have never really been in the past. I have to be super structured in making sure they have their allotted time for homework. So, this is the plan, I will pick them up after school and bring them home. Last year Ally walked and it was super stressful because at times she would go over her friend’s house which would take away from homework time.
This year we will come home station ourselves in the living room and put all cellphones in the table and have 1 hour of homework time or school depress time if you may. After I told them about the new rules, Alison whispered to Ariana that we were turning white! Whatever that means!!! As for mom, I signed up for Ubereats! I want to do something that allows me the freedom that I need when it comes with taking care of my mommy responsibilities. It’s 6:21 and a hear a coffee cup calling my name. So, have a great morning and I will see you later to let you know how the new rules work out.
Update!!! 7:08 So, we dropped Alison off and she isn’t really feeling the before 7 AM class! I hope she feels better as time goes by because the schedule isn’t changing. I felt a little bad for the reporter that tried to talk to her this morning. From the looks of it, Ally kind of pushed her away with her eyes. I saw her pull my daughter over only to see her look a little funny as Ally walked away in her leave me alone mood. Welcome to my world!
Last night I turned on my radio and ran across an interview on Fox. I want to say it was right before the Laura Ingraham show, but I am not certain because I was listening in my Jeep. I heard an interview with some residents of Chicago that broke my heart. One lady mentioned how bringing in the National Guard and putting a curfew in place would be about the only way to help the city. After I made it home, I found the program it was on, so I want to post the interview and show you how this city is dealing with their anguish.
You know, I am not a supporter of Trump or really anyone at this point. However, I do find myself liking Andrew Yang because he is the only one not trying to cash in on the shootings from this weekend. At this point, I just find it incredibly sad that people are saying that they need help and so many of our leaders aren’t listening. It brings me back to the Janise Harris case when she was reported missing and then social media was able to grab on and she was found in a matter of hours. During those hours, tweets went out to President Trump, Senator Harris, Senator Booker, Oprah Winfrey, and Former President Obama. It was trending half of the day for the United States and nobody said a word. This 15 year old Chicagoan was missing and not even the leaders in Chicago would take notice. Finally, after hours more the outlets in Chicago took notice. Yet, the mayor and the representatives of the city stood silent. As a result of the neglect, the city has become under siege by crime. They had a shooting take place on Sunday which saw at least 7 people die in two different incidents with more that 50 people injured. This is the information from their CBS news.
In the 90’s I visited Chicago, that was my first time seeing people get shot at. From out of nowhere a group of young guys came running and you could see a little stream of smoke. They yelled that someone was shooting at them and my friend and I both ducked down and hid as they continued running on their way. It was a real wake up call for me and my future in Chicago. Needless to say, I soon called my parents and asked if they would buy me a ticket to come back to Texas.
The harsh fact is that the residents of Chicago might not have any other choice but to live in Chicago or sadly, die in Chicago because that appears to be the outcome. Our government has forgotten them even today we hear about the other two mass shootings, but we hear very little about how Chicago is dealing with their death. We do not talk about how a hospital had to stop taking victims in Chicago because of the amount of wounded.
In many ways it feels as if we are leaving a man down in a burning building while we are looking for others to save. Once again leadership comes into view. Who are the leaders and what are they doing to improve their towns? Gun control should not just be a focus when the climate seems ripe and ready to yield a reward for those running for office.
In cities like Chicago gun control might not be enough anymore. We might need to start bringing in martial law just like the citizen asked on the Fox program last night. What are your feelings on bringing marital law to an American city if it means saving the city in the process? Please vote below.
I remember some years ago watching special news reports flash across the TV about killings in Israel near the Gaza Strip. At that time I wanted to travel to Israel, but the violence was very offsetting. It was a battleground and every time you turned around special news reports were breaking in and out of programming.
I recall this one picture that was taken at a market with bodies all over the place and another of a blown up bus on the street. While my heart ached for the families involved on both sides of the conflict, I felt a small amount of relief because I lived in America.
It has now been about 48 hours since I last saw the video of people laying in the street, parking lots, and running for their lives right here in this country. We no longer look like the America I once knew, we look like a war torn country on the verge of catastrophe. Living in America, I do not think we have ever had to really worry about our daily outings.
Yet, the killing at Walmart’s rips deeply at my soul because it shows how far we have fallen. There will be some that want to blame Trump, others who want to blame Democrats, but let me be the first to say, I as a blogger could have done more to heal the current wounds of hate. I could have spoken a little softer, been a little friendlier and let down my guarded wall to prevent misguided feelings.
We have known that America has been on the verge of chaos for a while now. I will just name a handful of the shooting that have happened in the last 2 and a half years. In 2017 Stephen Paddock killed 58 people in Las Vegas and wounded over 400 more. Prior to that Congressman Scalise was shot and nearly killed while he and other members were practicing for a game. In February of 2018, The Parkland shooting took place which resulted in 17 people dying with two survivors committing suicide this year. Some of these shooting were racial while others were political, but the results were the same. They left the country stunned and heartbroken.
I want all Americans and even those who might not be Americans to be able to feel safe. Nobody should fear going to the store, having a bite with friends, or sending their children off to school. We need gun laws preventing assault weapons, better means to attaining mental health care, and firm mandates for social media companies that do not report threats immediately. Just as teachers, medical personnel and firemen have to report child abuse, so should Facebook, and other social media companies be forced to report potential dangers.