My Daughter’s Encounter With The Police

I’ve been struggling with something lately. This past weekend my daughter walked to the store which isn’t very far from our house. She informed us that on the way to the store a cop slowed down to a near crawl and drove beside her. She then stated that it made her nervous so the turned around and walked the other way. The policeman then turned around and proceeded to follow her in that direction as well.

Photo by Jansel Ferma on Pexels.com

Due to the cop making her nervous she decided to go to another store which ended up being a little closer than the first store she planned on visiting. As she entered the store, the cop drove away. We have had talks about staying away from trouble. She does a good job of it, to be honest. She doesn’t really go anywhere with anyone. We have covered the basics, even warned her about staying away from hoodies which is something she had on last weekend. She hates the sun! I’m feeling kind of confused and stressed about the policeman following my daughter, to be honest. I never thought I would have to explain the dangers of being a minority female on foot. We tell her to watch out for strangers, watch out for people who look jittery, but we haven’t had to talk to her about watching out for cops.

I used to bake cupcakes and bring our cops back in Garland treats to help show our appreciation. Hell, I would even go to Taco Bell and grab food just to take it to patrol cars to show how much we cared. I’m scared because the atmosphere is changing and in many ways it has changed. I told my daughter something totally different this weekend when we talked about the encounter with the officer. I told her to be careful, face the officer, and smile if he follows you. Then I started thinking about what I was saying. Why was some officer following my daughter around and is she safe here in this small town, we call home?

Photo by Thgusstavo Santana on Pexels.com

Just what do we tell our children about interactions with the police?

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How Are You Rating Your Quality Time

How Are You Rating Your Quality Time

Families are made up of so many different things. With each family comes a set of unique illustrations that paint that family’s life from within. Trauma seems to add new details and sections to the dynamics which can ultimately alter how families are able to coexist among each other. It is at the end of the school year, and we have come to the conclusion that we are still dealing with the tremors of trauma from five years ago.

If the event would have been an earthquake, you would have expected to see small tremors that popped up some years ago. However, it seems as though the tremors are harmonic in nature and ever reaching. We were finally able to have a real heart to heart with our 13 year old. Yes, I said the 13 year old. She was 8 when her sister was attacked and my oldest was 16. In many ways we focused so much and so hard on the recovery process for one child that we nearly lost the other two.

My eldest has been living in Florida for nearly six months now. It makes me sad to write this because I don’t know how much I missed when it comes to being there for the 13 year old. For the past five years while I was trying to save one daughter, I was slowly letting the other two drift away. After having a real heart to heart, my baby finally opened up and told me how she felt.

She informed me that there were nights that she would just lay in her room crying because she felt like we didn’t see her. No parent ever wants to hear that, you do not want to hear that you were a shit parent. I think I did what my parents did in many ways. I tried to bring in things to make up for not being there. We had the season tickets to Six Flags, great hiking adventures, and even trips to craters. We were really trying to meet that quality time quota that so many of us play towards.

Now, we are looking at quality time in a much different way. It’s about those trips to markets that result in instant bright face appreciation as well as those moments of tenderness because some boy has broken her heart. It’s about telling her how much we love her each and every night and telling her no matter the outcome, she will overcome. In my mind, I still see her as

this little one. This picture was taken on some random day at the park. We decided to ditch the normal routine after school and have a play date. Don’t make the mistake that we made and think that quality time has to be something like below.

Hiking in the mountains.

Going to ballet.

Mining in dormant volcanoes.

It can be anything as simple as just watching your kids walk ahead of you at the park. If you are anything like my family, you are still trying to work out the kinks. We are moving in a better direction, but that direction now comes with open eyes. It’s not always easy after you take off the rose colored glasses, but it’s something that you can’t ignore. Don’t miss those moments.

Children Taking A Stand In Their Own Way. Episode of Momville

Children Taking A Stand In Their Own Way. Episode of Momville

My daughter struggled with learning how to fit in until we explained one basic rule. It’s normal to be abnormal and perhaps abnormal to be normal. So somewhere in between the uncanny words, unfinished statements, she found her voice! She went from the below video to the YouTube girly she is today!! Help your children learn to love who they are and not hide their true self. We live in a very judgmental time and often those who are most different find themselves the target of bullying. She’s happier today because she is no longer living by the world’s rules. It’s simple, learn what they like and try to be supportive.

Ally and her reaction to @bts_bighit ! It’s kind of funny to see her speechless!! Gotta love our babies!! @kpopredictions_ @Kpop_Herald @MTV @YouTube pic.twitter.com/WAxxXjdbJW— Shellz (@ArtsBlogKeeper1) February 7, 2019

This really shows you how different children are in regards to ideas and talent. This is the 13 year old who has her own YouTube channel and fan base. She’s a little activist and I couldn’t be prouder.

I think the thing I’m most proud of is that she took her love for this group and tried to bring awareness to a subject that we often don’t talk about until something awful happens. She has managed to show how sometimes we live in patterns when it comes to picking people who mean us no good. I read most of her work, and while I might not like some of the wording, I get the fact that she’s trying to send a message out. In a world full of drugs, sex, and alcohol, I’m glad my daughter has found a love for something else. At 13 I was writing poetry. At 13 she’s writing stories about girls being stuck in domestic violence.

Fan Fiction-BTS Alison’s Work

Fishing Boat

I'm trying to save up for the Pelican Predator 10'3 fishing boat. It's 849.00! If you know anyone in Texas who wants to gift a boat because they don't need it anymore, that would be even better. At this rate it's going to take me a long time to save up!!!

$1.00

I’m sure by now, many of you have heard of the group BTS. They have inspired a movement as it seems in tweens and teens across the world. Yes, I said the world people! These boys are nearly a billion dollar group and I think it’s because they are selling love.

bts

My daughter explained ever so passionately that there is a difference between BTS and other groups. She stated that BTS teaches people how to love themselves no matter what. She revealed how upset she was after she broke up with her boyfriend last year, and how their music made her understand why the breakup was needed.

 

broken heart love sad
Photo by burak kostak on Pexels.com

I now present you with Alison’s part two of her BTS Fan Fiction. When I was 12 I was playing with dolls, she’s making mini movies!!