Are You Throwing Away Your Inheritance?

Many of us have our lives figured out to some degree. Some of us plan every step down to the last inch, but what happens when our plans don’t go the way we planned? After reading a couple of articles by Mark Cuban and Warren Buffett, I think I understand why the poor stay poor. We find ourselves forever fighting the tidal waves of rent. I didn’t really think about it until after I left my last position. My family was making over 100 thousand a year, so rent wasn’t an issue. However, after I quit my job that 100 k shot down to maybe 50 k. I know some of you might be asking why would you give up that much money, well trust me when I tell you, money isn’t everything.

So, now we have to rearrange life on an income about half the size of the one before, and it has produced some soul searching. First thing I am thankful for it my daughter’s free tennis lessons from her school. She is on the tennis team and has her first game on the 22nd. We had to change car insurance companies because we could no longer afford nearly 400 dollars a month. We were able to get with another really good company for half that amount. We then had to cancel the Six Flags Membership, which was okay, because we only went to park three times and paid over a 1000 for the membership. I was able to see my daughter’s performance on Friday which was priceless. My last job made it nearly impossible to be a mom to my children. I was constantly missing meetings and events. We pretty much parked one car in the garage and currently use only one. We were able to get rid of cable and get Amazon, Netflix, and HULU which will save a lot. I found that my local grocery store has a lot of things cheaper and that my oriental store kind of sells things a littler higher. We tried to supplement our bill with fishing, but it turns out we really suck at that. I might be too hyper for that. Now, we are focusing on trying to lower the electric bill. For some reason it seems to be stuck at nearly 400 each freaking month. If we could get that down to at least 200, I would dance naked under the stars!!!!

So, after all of this, I’ve come to one conclusion. I am thankful to God for blessing me with parents who knew more than I did. Their struggles and their planning have taught me something about my own path. It only took me 41 years to learn the lesson, but at least I get it. Eight years ago we were just getting out of the military and starting life as civilians. I say we, but my husband wore the uniform. Yet, it felt like we were enlisted just as much as he was at times. We didn’t live with the mortars and near meetings with death, but I constantly dealt with the fear of the dreaded knock.

It’s funny because I wanted so badly to believe that I didn’t need my inheritance. I wanted to think that I could do things all by myself, I guess I thought that taking the gift that was left by my parents meant I was weak. I let someone rent out my house and refused to take my place as the rightful occupant on my land.  It never crossed my mind that Dukes do not turn down their Dukedoms, rich do not turn down their millions, so why was I shame of taking the land that my father so proudly showed us? Pride gives birth to failure.

It wasn’t until I did some real soul searching until I figured out just what turning my back on my inheritance meant to my family. It meant that I was cheating my girls out of an awesome life. Some of my best childhood memories were running in the woods and swinging across streams that my father and his before him used as their hunting grounds.

Another thing that gets me is the process of aging. We all die, and with that said, I feel like we are too used to moving around because of the military itch. It’s time to really build a home and not a home that some mortgage company can bill us for, I’m ready to start getting things together for a home that my children will never have to worry about paying for. We have a plan that God Willing will work out,if he sees fit! I plan to build a small cottage style house no more than 1000 square feet. The idea is to build up so we can get a bedroom upstairs, but before we can do that a few things will need to be tied up on this end.

Do you think it’s possible for life to be turned upside down so we can land on the right side of where we need to be? I feel like someone has thrown a dice and it was set to land on four, but it landed on every other number until finally it was thrown the right way. Sometimes the answer is so easy, but so hidden.

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Reinventing Life, Sucks Monkey Toes

I’ve been MIA for a little while because I’m feeling a bit defeated. I found myself looking around for anything that resembled fishing twine today. I came across some old decorations and tried to see if I could shimmy off the tinsel and use them. I would be lying if I told you that I wasn’t a little scared. I’m scared of what comes next. I’ve been thinking a lot about my land lately. I’m here renting this house when renting seems to be very expensive and stupid. My husband is being the positive one as always, and I’m being the Debbie Downer.

I know quitting my job was the right thing to do because of all the hurtful things that were coming from it, but that doesn’t take away the problems that come with removing the income. Yet, I think in some odd way, I’m better because of all of the emotional stuff that I encountered. A few weeks ago the counselor finally called and asked about my daughter’s self inflicted injuries. It’s still hard for me to believe that those kinds of things were going on right under my nose and I didn’t even know about it. I feel so guilty because while I was out trying to save other children, my daughter was hurting herself because she didn’t have the affection and attention she needed.

Sadly, it took the death of a child to make me see what I was missing out on. My daughter has her first event tonight, and I don’t even know if I will be able to go. I just wish God would tell me what direction should we move in. If my husband were to quit and call in his retirement we could move back to my land and build a small house and get jobs back home. I think my land is the key. Not too many people are lucky enough to own land, so not living on it seems to be disrespectful to my father and grandfather. Plus, I could plant veggies for the children. We used to grow potatoes, corn, peas, greens, and watermelons each year until he passed away.

If I am being honest, I have stayed away because I didn’t know how to see those fields without him. Another man came in and tried to buy up all the land for his cattle, but our 9 to 12 acres will never be used for anyone other than us. My grandparents purchased that land by picking potatoes and other things. I think it’s time to go home. When do you know? I’m not giving up on my boat! I could catch a lot more this baby! Have a good weekend.

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Chilling With Netflix Originals

Today, I’m going to start out a little different. I’m going to talk about my Netflix Original first, then I’m going to talk to you about a movie with Matthew McConaughey. The Netflix Original is First Match. I’m not one to keep you guys waiting, so here goes!

We are seeing more programming that highlights problematic situations in America. In the movie First Match , we are introduced to Monique. She’s a teenage girl bouncing from foster care to her mother and back to foster care again. Monique’s journey really starts after she sees her father show up out of the blue. She’s wanted to live with him for a while and after they met by accident one night, she developed a plan to capture his attention. This movie will make you cry, so I warn you. If you are anything like me, get a box of tissues and enjoy. I found this movie to be symbolic of the foster care child. They are children who often want to be reunited with their families, but for different reasons that reunion doesn’t always need to take place.

In Monique’s situation, both of her parents show why she was taken away from them. Her willingness to please her father is the real hitter here. It really shows how daughters crave that relationship in ways that many of us could never imagine. This is a movie that really brings home the importance of a support system. Support systems can save you or damn you depending on the fruit of that system. I do not want to give the movie away, because this is a must watch. Watch it this weekend. It’s such a good movie and it will make you think.

The next movie I have to talk about is Free State of Jones. I first heard the world nigger when I was in middle school. I remember being in my History class and this white kid talked about why he didn’t like black people. He continued with his lecture and then I was like if that’s how you feel, why are you talking to me? He then went on to tell me how I wasn’t a nigger like the rest of black kids he was talking about. Well, that really didn’t make me feel any better. I’m black, and that word was offensive to me and all of the people who looked like me.

So, fast forward to last night and my viewing of Free State Of Jones. In the first 6 to 7 minutes Matthew McConaughey’s character Mr. Newton Knight started explaining to his pals about not wanting to be anyone’s nigger. The first time he said it, I leaned in and looked at my husband. The second time he said it, I listened a little more and then after he said it a few more times, it started to sink in. Anyone can be someone’s nigger. I mean the way the word was used throughout history was to demean a class of people that another group felt was underneath them.  That way of thinking not only went for black people, but for Irish and poor people as well. I feel like Mr. Knight was one of the smartest men that lived in the Civil War era next to John Brown. It really makes you look at the word in another light and it takes away the shame of it. Mr. Knight created a band of misfits, so to say and protected the displaced from the Confederate soldiers who were increasing taxes on people.

Often when we hear about the Civil War here in the South, we hear about how the Yankees did a lot of dirt, we haven’t really heard anything about how the South took from those farmers and increased taxes on people which really pushed people into near death situations. It was an eye opening movie because I didn’t know that people were exempt from the war if they owned slaves. I don’t recall learning that in college when I took the two classes on the Civil War. So, Mr. Knight was like the American version of Robin Hood. At one point in the movie when a black character was called nigger by one of the white soldiers, he replied by asking him in a round of about way, how was he not a nigger too. Mr. Knight went on to explain how the South was making all of the poor people niggers and how color wasn’t even the issue. Can I say that Matthew McConaughey was brilliant? He was Mr. Knight and he made me want to know about the man and shake his hand for being do darn smart. To me this was better than A Time to Kill, and I loved that movie. It not only made me see the Civil War in another light, but it kind of made me see things a little differently today. Here we are fighting against one another while the people at the top are toasting to the chaos. If a Civil War were to break out today the Clintons, Trumps, Sanders, and Obamas wouldn’t be going anywhere. This country belongs to the people, but for some reason we have forgotten that. Why are we fighting against each other on the behalf of someone else’s pocketbook? For many of these people it’s about money and power. Do we even know who’s in it for us anymore?

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We Must Save America From America

Pay very close attention to the next few weeks. If the Republicans push Kavanaugh through without a true investigation, it will send a very straight and pointed message regarding women. Now is the time to vote more than ever because the future of our daughters depend on it. Are we looking at something like the beginning of a Muammar Gaddafi leader in the making when it comes to Trump? He might not have the military background that Gaddafi had, but I see problematic written across this canvas. There’s a reason why he wants to push Kavanaugh through so badly. We can’t look back a year from now and say we saw the wall tumbling down when we have the power right now to fortify it, by voting his protectors out.
I see him taking us down a path of destruction because he seems to be too compromised and is willing to get in bed with dirty people, a little too often. We hang around those we have something in common with. What does he have in common with the criminals that he’s had relationships with? If the Republicans can’t stand up, the Independents must stand up because we are the ones who make the difference in the elections. Stand up now.

 

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