I try to be as encouraging as I can when it comes to things I talk to my children about. This is Black History Month so I thought it would be a good idea to watch some black historical shows with the girls. I found this one series on HULU called “The Book Of Negroes” I thought it sounded like a good show. After minutes went by, the girls started to get up and walk out of the room. I looked around and noticed they had an uncomfortable twitch going, so, I paused the movie.
That’s when it happened. I was bombarded with questions as to why was I watching this type of show? It’s Black History Month so I thought it would be a good idea to talk about our roots, but I should have known better. Every Black History Month we run into this same issue. I find a good movie or show to view and the children protest. So this time around they asked me something that I haven’t heard before. They insisted that watching the show made them feel sad and then they asked me, why didn’t it make me sad? I told them that it reminded me that we are here for a reason and that our people made big sacrifices so that we would be able to live in the house we live in, eat the foods we eat, walk down the streets we walk down, and sleep in late on Saturdays, if we wanted to.
They countered with, doesn’t it make you dislike white people? I answered no more than I would dislike the ones who sold our ancestors into slavery. They nodded and continued out of the room. I don’t know if they will ever be ready to learn about our history, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop trying to give little history lessons when I can. However, I can’t lie, there’s part of me starting to wonder if we maybe focus a little too much on the history and not enough on the future.
My daughter struggled with learning how to fit in until we explained one basic rule. It’s normal to be abnormal and perhaps abnormal to be normal. So somewhere in between the uncanny words, unfinished statements, she found her voice! She went from the below video to the YouTube girly she is today!! Help your children learn to love who they are and not hide their true self. We live in a very judgmental time and often those who are most different find themselves the target of bullying. She’s happier today because she is no longer living by the world’s rules. It’s simple, learn what they like and try to be supportive.
This really shows you how different children are in regards to ideas and talent. This is the 13 year old who has her own YouTube channel and fan base. She’s a little activist and I couldn’t be prouder.
I think the thing I’m most proud of is that she took her love for this group and tried to bring awareness to a subject that we often don’t talk about until something awful happens. She has managed to show how sometimes we live in patterns when it comes to picking people who mean us no good. I read most of her work, and while I might not like some of the wording, I get the fact that she’s trying to send a message out. In a world full of drugs, sex, and alcohol, I’m glad my daughter has found a love for something else. At 13 I was writing poetry. At 13 she’s writing stories about girls being stuck in domestic violence.
Some months ago my daughter set out to make her first fanfiction piece. It was different for her because she was really into art around that time. If you recall some of my prior postings she was also dealing with some stuff because of my job and me never really being around.
After we moved here she wanted to share her love for KPOP by writing a story for fans like herself. I think it was a way to keep in touch with all the friends she left behind. I must admit, the not so cool mom in me was quite confused. Yet, I wanted to be supportive because that’s what parents do! I never really understood fanfiction, but after reading some of her work, I’m all in. I’m still not too crazy about the curse words, but I get she’s trying to tell a story. Too bad she will not let me know any inside info! I want to know who ends up with the girl. I even promised not to say a word, but I’m in the dark just like some of you! So for some of my readers that like KPOP, I will list her episodes below. I hope you enjoy it! I don’t know much about Youtube, but she has over 30K views on her fanfiction stories together. I just think it’s really cool and I wish I had an ounce of that creativity when I was her age.
I wanted to show how my daughter’s dramas are doing. It’s hard to believe she turned 13 last month and she’s already writing dramas. When I was her age I was playing in the woods with my relatives. If memory has it right, we were playing wizards. We would grab onto sticks and belts and play like we were magical creatures. It often resulted in cut lips, missing teeth, but it was fun!
This is part one.
This is Two
This is four.
If you like BTS, Blackpink or other KPOP groups, I think you will like her story.
On another note, I get a stank faces when people find out that my daughter likes KPOP, but here’s the thing! People of all races and nationalities can enjoy a wide range of things. Do not limit yourself by placing yourself into a box. Enjoy life while you can because the ability to enjoy it might not always be there.
Many of us have our lives figured out to some degree. Some of us plan every step down to the last inch, but what happens when our plans don’t go the way we planned? After reading a couple of articles by Mark Cuban and Warren Buffett, I think I understand why the poor stay poor. We find ourselves forever fighting the tidal waves of rent. I didn’t really think about it until after I left my last position. My family was making over 100 thousand a year, so rent wasn’t an issue. However, after I quit my job that 100 k shot down to maybe 50 k. I know some of you might be asking why would you give up that much money, well trust me when I tell you, money isn’t everything.
So, now we have to rearrange life on an income about half the size of the one before, and it has produced some soul searching. First thing I am thankful for it my daughter’s free tennis lessons from her school. She is on the tennis team and has her first game on the 22nd. We had to change car insurance companies because we could no longer afford nearly 400 dollars a month. We were able to get with another really good company for half that amount. We then had to cancel the Six Flags Membership, which was okay, because we only went to park three times and paid over a 1000 for the membership. I was able to see my daughter’s performance on Friday which was priceless. My last job made it nearly impossible to be a mom to my children. I was constantly missing meetings and events. We pretty much parked one car in the garage and currently use only one. We were able to get rid of cable and get Amazon, Netflix, and HULU which will save a lot. I found that my local grocery store has a lot of things cheaper and that my oriental store kind of sells things a littler higher. We tried to supplement our bill with fishing, but it turns out we really suck at that. I might be too hyper for that. Now, we are focusing on trying to lower the electric bill. For some reason it seems to be stuck at nearly 400 each freaking month. If we could get that down to at least 200, I would dance naked under the stars!!!!
So, after all of this, I’ve come to one conclusion. I am thankful to God for blessing me with parents who knew more than I did. Their struggles and their planning have taught me something about my own path. It only took me 41 years to learn the lesson, but at least I get it. Eight years ago we were just getting out of the military and starting life as civilians. I say we, but my husband wore the uniform. Yet, it felt like we were enlisted just as much as he was at times. We didn’t live with the mortars and near meetings with death, but I constantly dealt with the fear of the dreaded knock.
It’s funny because I wanted so badly to believe that I didn’t need my inheritance. I wanted to think that I could do things all by myself, I guess I thought that taking the gift that was left by my parents meant I was weak. I let someone rent out my house and refused to take my place as the rightful occupant on my land. It never crossed my mind that Dukes do not turn down their Dukedoms, rich do not turn down their millions, so why was I shame of taking the land that my father so proudly showed us? Pride gives birth to failure.
It wasn’t until I did some real soul searching until I figured out just what turning my back on my inheritance meant to my family. It meant that I was cheating my girls out of an awesome life. Some of my best childhood memories were running in the woods and swinging across streams that my father and his before him used as their hunting grounds.
Another thing that gets me is the process of aging. We all die, and with that said, I feel like we are too used to moving around because of the military itch. It’s time to really build a home and not a home that some mortgage company can bill us for, I’m ready to start getting things together for a home that my children will never have to worry about paying for. We have a plan that God Willing will work out,if he sees fit! I plan to build a small cottage style house no more than 1000 square feet. The idea is to build up so we can get a bedroom upstairs, but before we can do that a few things will need to be tied up on this end.
Do you think it’s possible for life to be turned upside down so we can land on the right side of where we need to be? I feel like someone has thrown a dice and it was set to land on four, but it landed on every other number until finally it was thrown the right way. Sometimes the answer is so easy, but so hidden.
I’ve been MIA for a little while because I’m feeling a bit defeated. I found myself looking around for anything that resembled fishing twine today. I came across some old decorations and tried to see if I could shimmy off the tinsel and use them. I would be lying if I told you that I wasn’t a little scared. I’m scared of what comes next. I’ve been thinking a lot about my land lately. I’m here renting this house when renting seems to be very expensive and stupid. My husband is being the positive one as always, and I’m being the Debbie Downer.
I know quitting my job was the right thing to do because of all the hurtful things that were coming from it, but that doesn’t take away the problems that come with removing the income. Yet, I think in some odd way, I’m better because of all of the emotional stuff that I encountered. A few weeks ago the counselor finally called and asked about my daughter’s self inflicted injuries. It’s still hard for me to believe that those kinds of things were going on right under my nose and I didn’t even know about it. I feel so guilty because while I was out trying to save other children, my daughter was hurting herself because she didn’t have the affection and attention she needed.
Sadly, it took the death of a child to make me see what I was missing out on. My daughter has her first event tonight, and I don’t even know if I will be able to go. I just wish God would tell me what direction should we move in. If my husband were to quit and call in his retirement we could move back to my land and build a small house and get jobs back home. I think my land is the key. Not too many people are lucky enough to own land, so not living on it seems to be disrespectful to my father and grandfather. Plus, I could plant veggies for the children. We used to grow potatoes, corn, peas, greens, and watermelons each year until he passed away.
If I am being honest, I have stayed away because I didn’t know how to see those fields without him. Another man came in and tried to buy up all the land for his cattle, but our 9 to 12 acres will never be used for anyone other than us. My grandparents purchased that land by picking potatoes and other things. I think it’s time to go home. When do you know? I’m not giving up on my boat! I could catch a lot more this baby! Have a good weekend.
In basic language it means Indian Child Welfare Act. According to the Washington Times this morning.
“Court strikes down Native American adoption law, saying it discriminates against non-Native Americans”
This now means that ICWA isn’t going to be able to protect Native Americans anymore. The law was created because too many Native American children were being pulled away from their families and they were losing their culture. This is my fear in regards to the striking down of the law here in Texas, you will now see more removals of Native Americans. We already know that some areas removed more than they have to, and in my opinion that issue needs to be addressed. ICWA in my opinion saved those children from being caught in the web of deceit when it comes to removals that really didn’t need to be removals.
As a former investigator, I can tell you some investigators and supervisors will work their fingers to the bone to do the right thing for children. However, you will get some supervisors like the one I had. She didn’t care about the family or trying to keep children in the family. You know, it’s funny I was talking to my husband about this last night. I told him working sure made things easier for us, but in my heart I knew it was eating away at my soul. I went to sleep and dreamed about a Native American child in the backseat of my car. She had short hair and had been there for a while. I remember telling my husband in the dream that I was going to get fired because I forgot to place her with her new family. Then later in the day, I find this out.
We already have too many children in foster care and many of those children run. If the nations have laws that protected their family members from losing their heritage, who are we to take it away? If all removals were valid and did with good reason, I wouldn’t be here. I would be working, guys. By removing the Native American’s rights to hold on to their children, we are placing them in danger of a system that needs correcting.
I'm trying to save up for the Pelican Predator 10'3 fishing boat. It's 849.00! If you know anyone in Texas who wants to gift a boat because they don't need it anymore, that would be even better. At this rate it's going to take me a long time to save up!!!
