Veterans Affairs Is Still Having Issues

Today my husband got yet another diagnosis due to his injuries from being in the Army. My husband is 43 and is currently 90 percent disabled by VA standards. He can’t sit-up without something supporting his back due to an injury he got while training for Iraq. Not only is sitting an issue, but standing is an issue, walking is an issue and today we found out that sleeping is also an issue.

Medical Events Cause Stress

He had a sleep study test that showed he stopped breathing several times within 6 hours. My husband suffers from migraines which are more than likely caused by his back issues, sleep apnea, or glacoma. Back in October the VA sent him to an examiner, they sent him to someone who knew nothing about migraines. The doctor took a look at my husband and guessed a reason he had migraines and sent him on the way.

Currently there are millions more like my husband. The VA contracts out bad physicians to do inadequate exams so they can cheat Vets out of their ratings. Currently, we are still waiting on increases, yes plural, that were granted by the BVA in August. We have yet to see a rating change or a real appointment. In November they made an appointment which was contested by another office stating there was no reason for his appointment to be placed in their location due to locations near us.

Instead of getting him a new appointment, they relied on an opinion of someone without ever talking to my husband. These are the shameful things that our VA continues to do to our soldiers. They are relying on bad examinations to cheat troops out of billions.

I issue this warning to the military. I know you love our country and some of you might even be like my husband. After he was injured he went on to do time in Iraq and even completed Green Platoon. After tours in Afghanistan, Colombia, and other regions of the world his body could no longer take it. He left the military after 14 years. Lesson learned is don’t ignore your body’s message because after all those wonderful things you complete for the military, VA will make you jump through hoops just to get the rating you deserve.

God Bless you 🙏.

My babe. I am sooo proud of him

Special Education And Parents Who Give A Damn

Many years ago when my husband was stationed in Savannah, Georgia I worked at a school. The school was a very good school which educated some of Savannah’s richest families. I didn’t understand the politics involved in education until I started working in the Special Education department. It would become a stark lesson in life about inequality inside the classroom because of status.

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It would be my first lesson in social status division and my first lesson in how schools viewed children with special needs. My oldest daughter at the time was in the third grade. She was invited to two parties within the same week about halfway into the school year. One of the parties was being help at a child’s house in the Landings and the other was being held at a house at a mobile home community.

I remember asking the teacher who worked over me about both areas. I didn’t know anything about the Landings and I didn’t know anything about the mobile home park due to the fact that I liked to keep on base as much as possible. She informed me that the Landing’s party was the party I needed to let child attend. She giggled about the VIP invite and then started laughing about the mobile home invite. She insisted on keeping my child away from the child who stayed in the mobile homes because they were basically trashy.

Time came for the two parties which were held days apart. I decided against letting my daughter attend both parties due to the fact that I didn’t know the parents. I like to know parents before I say yes. However, due to the response of the teacher, I have always looked on schools with a bit of skepticism. I remember the importance the teachers held on children who were in Special Education with parents who had good jobs and the lack of importance they held for children from poor areas.

It really put me on a mission to make sure that each child knew of their importance no matter their parent’s status. I will never forget the time when I was told by a teacher that she would rather have a classroom of ghetto children than teach children under the Special Education umbrella. The sad fact is that parents do not have any idea of how some educators view their children if they have special needs. It is important perhaps more important for parents of children with special needs to stay involved with the schools and to monitor their children’s interactions due to these issues.

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Years later my daughter would get service from under the umbrella because of her ADHD and her ADD. However, those two issues weren’t the issues that would cause her to retreat inside herself, it would be a bullying attack that would hinder her from being able to interact socially. I find myself blessed with the inside knowledge of two things because of my occupational travels. I understand how certain children are regarded due to their disability and I understand how schools do not tell you about the obstacles these children face inside and outside the classroom.

So this brings me to my conversation with my daughter before we went to bed. Last night my daughter entered the room and gave me this very meaningful speech as I gazed out the window.

“Mom, I do not want you to worry about me being placed in another theater class because at the end of the day, I know you believe in me. I know dad believes in me and I believe in me. I don’t need a teacher to give me the green light when I have you guys. If she doesn’t want me in her class, I don’t want to be in it. I’ll just do my best in the new class and prove her wrong.-Ariana

I guess that is the point of it all. It is my support that will protect and propel her. Schools are set on default educations which means they do not always give what each and every kid needs. No matter how much we want to elevate the idea of teachers, there will always be those teachers who aren’t encouraging to all children. So, as parents we must lift our children up when the world tries to bring them down and remember it is our support that gives them wings.

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Did The Government Help To Create A New Breed Of Troubled Kids?

Why didn’t we have school shootings and massive bullying when we were younger? It is mainly because of one word and it begins with the letter P and ends with the letter S. PARENTS! We talk about guns and mental health a lot in this country. However, I haven’t heard people talking about the lack of discipline in our country because of fear. When we allowed the government to come into our houses and take on the position as the silent parent, we opened the door for disruption.

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Some of you might find it ironic as hell that I am taking this position, but there’s a reason behind it. When I was in the academy for investigator training, one of the first things we learned was that the majority of CPS cases would be fictitious. I didn’t want to believe it because surely 85 percent of cases couldn’t really be just parents, trying to be parents. However, after I graduated the academy and cases started coming in, I soon learned the dark side of reporting.

While a handful of my cases were actual abuse, the majority of my cases were not abuse. Many of them were cases with teens or preteens who were out of control. Some of the children were so out of control that their parents could no longer afford to take care of them. In many ways, we have the government to thank for this epidemic. Parents are scared to parent because anything and everything can be used against them when it comes to reporting.

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We are talking about in some cases parents raising their voices, spanking, removing doors, and talking to children about their weight issues, these are some of the things that parents did to get CPS called on them which always resulted in Rule Outs. The calls would come from clinics, schools, family members, or people involved in custody fights.

A single mother was using a provider for her newborn and she didn’t feel like the doctor was really showing the level of concern that she needed, so she switched providers. The clinic called in a case on the new mom with a load of lies which were easily picked apart due to records. I have always and will always say CPS needs a new screening method. The current method does more harm than good. If you have a reporting system that lets retaliatory accusations flourish then you have a broken system.

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There needs to be some form of punishment for false accusations because there are too many false allegations that result in stagnated parenting. Good parents become fearful of future calls and stop reinforcing rules out of fear of future CPS interactions. This fear then spreads to family members and friends which later interrupts how the family is able to parent. Keep in mind in order to close cases investigators must contact references even if the case happens to be fictitious. Thus spreading fear of how and what parents can do to parent their children.

Enter in the wayward child that we see today. Parents cannot parent due to fear of the government and the government is not equipped to take on the full responsibility of parenting all the children they have helped corrupt. So people reach for medication or therapy when perhaps the only thing they needed in the first place was the ability to parent their children without the fear of the government.

American Battleground

I remember some years ago watching special news reports flash across the TV about killings in Israel near the Gaza Strip. At that time I wanted to travel to Israel, but the violence was very offsetting. It was a battleground and every time you turned around special news reports were breaking in and out of programming.

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I recall this one picture that was taken at a market with bodies all over the place and another of a blown up bus on the street. While my heart ached for the families involved on both sides of the conflict, I felt a small amount of relief because I lived in America.

It has now been about 48 hours since I last saw the video of people laying in the street, parking lots, and running for their lives right here in this country. We no longer look like the America I once knew, we look like a war torn country on the verge of catastrophe. Living in America, I do not think we have ever had to really worry about our daily outings.

Yet, the killing at Walmart’s rips deeply at my soul because it shows how far we have fallen. There will be some that want to blame Trump, others who want to blame Democrats, but let me be the first to say, I as a blogger could have done more to heal the current wounds of hate. I could have spoken a little softer, been a little friendlier and let down my guarded wall to prevent misguided feelings.

We have known that America has been on the verge of chaos for a while now. I will just name a handful of the shooting that have happened in the last 2 and a half years. In 2017 Stephen Paddock killed 58 people in Las Vegas and wounded over 400 more. Prior to that Congressman Scalise was shot and nearly killed while he and other members were practicing for a game. In February of 2018, The Parkland shooting took place which resulted in 17 people dying with two survivors committing suicide this year. Some of these shooting were racial while others were political, but the results were the same. They left the country stunned and heartbroken.

I want all Americans and even those who might not be Americans to be able to feel safe. Nobody should fear going to the store, having a bite with friends, or sending their children off to school. We need gun laws preventing assault weapons, better means to attaining mental health care, and firm mandates for social media companies that do not report threats immediately. Just as teachers, medical personnel and firemen have to report child abuse, so should Facebook, and other social media companies be forced to report potential dangers.

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Dancing With Donald Trump

If you are anything like me, you are more than ready for 2020 to arrive and leave. One of the main reasons I can’t wait to see 2020 come and go is because we are in desperate need of new blood in Congress. We have two types of people occupying Congress right now. We have people unwilling to disturb the waters, and people who are jumping into the deep end of the pool, without knowing how to swim.

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Meanwhile, we have this issue with Speaker Of The House Pelosi and President Trump. If I didn’t know any better, I would swear that these two have a secret flirt affair going on. On one hand we have Democrats calling for the impeachment process to start. On the other hand,Speaker of the House Pelosi wants to see President Trump locked up.

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So, what am I missing? The last time I checked the president can’t be locked up without being impeached. If you aren’t going to start the process, repair your relationship and move on. The bickering and jabbing is starting to get old. Most of us just want to see results that benefit our country. We want to see a fair immigration system, better healthcare, a judicial system that works for all, and climate control.

We want to see an immigration system that does not destabilize countries that need each other. We also need to focus on making sure people have the right to healthcare and that they aren’t kicked off their plans due to preexisting illnesses. There is a mental health crisis in this country and nobody seems to want to talk about that. The truth is, treating mental illness is more expensive than treating asthma in some cases. I recall going to the doctor to schedule an exam for my daughter’s ADHD it was going to cost us over 300 with insurance. We aren’t even talking about the medication, we are talking about the mental health exam. Estimations show that we have at least 66 million people that are documented having some sort of mental illness problem occurring within 1 yr. https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-by-the-numbers

Those estimates are based on people that we track, there are millions more who are suffering from things and they will never go into a clinic. They will stay in the dark due to the fear of stigma attached to being mentally ill. Yet, we argue about gun control and forget about the very things that cause people to act out. If congress feels the need to proceed with the process of impeachment , then so be it. However, if there is nothing there, we need to move on and fix our issues as a country. We have seen enough dancing between Pelosi and Trump. If I want to be entertained, I will watch a dancing show.

Using Disability As Cash Cow

Fair warning*** Some of you might not like the article of the day. However, it’s Friday, so you will get over it. When I first starting working in the social work field I was introduced to the disability cash cow.

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Before you get irate, I’m not talking about people needing help because they honestly need help. My mother worked most of her life, she got sick in her 50’s which resulted in her having to get disability. A few years after she got her disability, she died. I’m talking about people placing their children on disability as a means of income. There are some issues that will automatically give birth to the need of disability, however today we are talking about the ones that do not.

My first encounter with this situation started around 2012. I was at work and a lady entered my office with her three children. All of her children were under 7 and two of the three were diagnosed with disorders. In most cases, I haven’t heard of people giving children under five schizophrenia diagnosis. Yet, I am not a doctor, so maybe it happens. However, when I questioned the mom about letting her children attend school red flags started to show up.

She went on to talk about how she didn’t want them in a school and how the school wouldn’t be able to take care of them like she did. She was in a shelter and from what I could tell she had other people looking after her children most of the day. She then told me that she was getting around 1500 a month in disability and she was in the process of getting the youngest child placed on disability for their ADHD.

My daughter as many of you know suffers from ADHD/ADD and ODD. She was briefly diagnosed with having an intellectual disability until she was retested a couple of years ago. Around the time she received the intellectual disability diagnoses someone tried to talk me into putting my child on disability. I was told she would be able to get money because of that and her ADHD. I smiled and politely informed the person that I wasn’t placing my child on anything because I was going to help her learn how to control it.

Here’s the point, there are times when someone might need to get disability, but I would think long and hard about it before I sign any papers. Maybe talk to someone in legal. My daughter works and she plans on going to college to get a career. While her struggles have been real, our encouragement has been never ending. I always think back to the 19 yr I met years ago. She was bright, funny, and such a pleasure to be around. I would often make her read aloud in group when we went over coping skills. At first she was scared, but later she started to really shine.

I asked her why didn’t she think about going to college one afternoon. She then informed me that she had a low IQ which prevented her from being able to go to college. Apparently, her mother told her she was too slow and put her on disability with the help of professionals. Her mother was using her disability as a cash cow until she moved out of the house and then issues started because she wanted to work. We must always think about what’s good for our children and not what’s easiest for us.

Nextdoor App Exposes People You Do Not Want Living Next Door.

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For the past few months I’ve been reading the post on Nextdoor. If you aren’t familiar with the app, let me give you the run down. Nextdoor is an application that neighbors use to post various things for their neighborhood to see. Some of the information can be useful, but often some of the information seems to be a little too dramatic.

One morning someone posted a vent asking people to walk their pets in their backyards due to her being tired of seeing poop in her yard. Needless to say, this didn’t go over well. Apparently, people like walking their dogs, but they do not like taking doggy bags with them for the retrieval method!

Another evening, a thread was started about someone selling internet, or some other service from house to house. The author of the post stated that the person in question was told that he pretty much wasn’t welcomed. So, instead of leaving the property, the individual decided to ask the owner of the house if he was being turned away due to his race? The author of the post went on to talk about how the person used the race card, while another member stated that door to door salesmen didn’t have equal opportunity.

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At that point, I told my husband our neighborhood seems to have a drama problem. From frequent posters speaking of shootings every weekend minus emergency vehicle follow-ups to neighborhood watchmen wanting to play cops, I felt it was time for my review. After reading a thread about events unwinding at a “local” crack house near the neighborhood, my husband questioned the authors about the location. Instead of us getting a response, we got silence. Another person questioned about the house, again nothing but silence.

I have come to the conclusion that Nextdoor, helps me know exactly who I do not want living next door to me. If you can’t give accurate details, you are doing nothing more than spreading gossip.