Border Children Fate

As of lately we have been hearing rumors about children being rented and used a collateral in a ploy to gain access to America. By now most of us who have been following this story are also aware of the fact that children are being placed on birth control to make the journey to America. Millions of people are calling for the children to be united with their parents, however is that placing the children in harms way?

What we know for certain, is that most of the people traveling to the United States are men. In an earlier article that I posted, I gave links to direct sites in Guatemala breaking down the people and groups taking on the journey to America. If you read that article, you should recall that most of the people were young working men while another large group happened to be children. The third group was made of families traveling with their children.

In some cases mothers have been seen telling reporters that they have had to place their children on birth control due to the real threat of sexual assault. Keep in mind, these children weren’t placed on birth control prior to the journey which makes you question their level of safety. Now, with the latest findings we are learning that many of these child could have been exploited. The Hill reported that senators have been briefed on exploitation. https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/447288-dhs-official-warns-gop-senators-about-rented-babies-at-border

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Make no mistake renting children, using children as tickets to come over is a form of exploitation. ICE is designed to prevent and control exploitation of children and prevent further damage. However, with the enormous amount of people crossing the border, it is now a race to properly investigate who is a victim and who isn’t.

More than ever, the public needs to understand that our opinions do not surpass the need for safety in regards to these children. Our leaders need to start looking at this situation in a new light which means they need to see these children as potential victims instead of treating them like POWs. We must commit to fully understanding who the children are and if these children have been used as a means to gain entry into this country, we must protect them. The borders need to be secured until we understand what we are dealing with.

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Walking Dead/Fear The Walking Dead And The Big Question

I’ve been thinking about the end of the world a lot lately. Perhaps, it is because I looked at all 4 seasons of Fear The Walking Dead within two weeks. The shows that showcase the crashing of civilization like my book The Last Love Story all leave out the real struggle. Why am I now thinking about storing up pads and tissue? Could it be because it is that time of the month, or is it because one of these days a horde of females might need these goodies to save the world.

There’s always one thing missing when writers talk about the end of the world in regards to women. To be fair, I have been there too. Sometimes we leave out the real stuff. You are writing this story and you want to show this woman as a bad ass, but you don’t want to show the real side of being a woman. So, we leave out the talk about periods and the reactions they have on our body.

I think back to my two novellas dealing with end of the world stuff and not once do I mention cramps, pads, or cramping so horribly that you can barely walk. If the world ended this week, I would be done for. There would be no walking ten miles, picking up pikes or bursting through houses. I would be chocolate covered zombie food with a hint of salt. I promise book three will have periods and the fear of running out of tissue because that is the struggle. Walking into the bathroom discovering a lack of tissue has never been so scary.

AMC/Fear The Walking Dead, make one of those boxes have pads or tampons to give us hope. We can’t be destined for a future of no sanitary items, or could we?

How Are You Rating Your Quality Time

Families are made up of so many different things. With each family comes a set of unique illustrations that paint that family’s life from within. Trauma seems to add new details and sections to the dynamics which can ultimately alter how families are able to coexist among each other. It is at the end of the school year, and we have come to the conclusion that we are still dealing with the tremors of trauma from five years ago.

If the event would have been an earthquake, you would have expected to see small tremors that popped up some years ago. However, it seems as though the tremors are harmonic in nature and ever reaching. We were finally able to have a real heart to heart with our 13 year old. Yes, I said the 13 year old. She was 8 when her sister was attacked and my oldest was 16. In many ways we focused so much and so hard on the recovery process for one child that we nearly lost the other two.

My eldest has been living in Florida for nearly six months now. It makes me sad to write this because I don’t know how much I missed when it comes to being there for the 13 year old. For the past five years while I was trying to save one daughter, I was slowly letting the other two drift away. After having a real heart to heart, my baby finally opened up and told me how she felt.

She informed me that there were nights that she would just lay in her room crying because she felt like we didn’t see her. No parent ever wants to hear that, you do not want to hear that you were a shit parent. I think I did what my parents did in many ways. I tried to bring in things to make up for not being there. We had the season tickets to Six Flags, great hiking adventures, and even trips to craters. We were really trying to meet that quality time quota that so many of us play towards.

Now, we are looking at quality time in a much different way. It’s about those trips to markets that result in instant bright face appreciation as well as those moments of tenderness because some boy has broken her heart. It’s about telling her how much we love her each and every night and telling her no matter the outcome, she will overcome. In my mind, I still see her as

this little one. This picture was taken on some random day at the park. We decided to ditch the normal routine after school and have a play date. Don’t make the mistake that we made and think that quality time has to be something like below.

Hiking in the mountains.

Going to ballet.

Mining in dormant volcanoes.

It can be anything as simple as just watching your kids walk ahead of you at the park. If you are anything like my family, you are still trying to work out the kinks. We are moving in a better direction, but that direction now comes with open eyes. It’s not always easy after you take off the rose colored glasses, but it’s something that you can’t ignore. Don’t miss those moments.

Road Map To My 22nd Anniversary

  1. Year One- Sex wasn’t the answer to all things.-Killeen, Texas.
  2. Year Two- Setting the alarm 30 minutes early was the key. Killeen, Texas.
  3. Year Three- My husband was a wonderful father. Fort Irwin, California.
  4. Year Four- Being pregnant sucks! Fort Irwin, California.
  5. Year Five- Living in a different country is easy when you are with your husband. Baumholder, Germany.
  6. Year Six- Nothing like the absence of your husband at your mother’s funeral because of war. Garland, Texas.
  7. Year Seven- Taking down welcome home signs after you learn your husband’s unit will be the first to stay beyond the allotted time in a war zone. Baumholder, Germany
  8. Year Eight- The only way to get out of the vasectomy after this pregnancy is over my dead body. Baumholder, Germany.
  9. Year Nine- Admitting that I didn’t know all I thought I knew about marriage. Savannah, GA.
  10. Year Ten- Dealing with addiction and remorse. Savannah, GA.
  11. Year Eleven- Talking to divorce lawyers because some situations are just too hard to deal with. Garland, Texas
  12. Year Twelve- Having to look my husband in the face and deal with our demons without being able to walk away. Clarksville, Tennessee
  13. Year Thirteen- Starting over. El Paso, Texas
  14. Year Fourteen- Being there through a tough surgery. El Paso, Texas.
  15. Year fifteen- Finally figuring out the Army was more of a hindrance to our family. El Paso, Texas
  16. Year Sixteen- Living with family members suck more than you know. Garland, Texas
  17. Year Seventeen- Nothing like being back on your own. Garland, Texas
  18. Year Eighteen- Transitioning from parents of young kids to parents of children old enough to date. Garland, Texas
  19. Year Nineteen- Being thankful that my husband was able to be there with me through my father’s death. Garland, Texas
  20. Year twenty- Finding my own calling is the key to my happiness. Garland, Texas
  21. Year twenty-One- Making sure we never forget those special nights. Garland, Texas
  22. Year Twenty-Two- Understand that life doesn’t last forever, so enjoy each other while you can. Somewhere in Texas!
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One Mighty Word. LOVE

I’ve been married for almost 22 years come next month. Sometimes marriage can be easy, but then there are times when it can be very hard. Yet, I wouldn’t trade either times because they make us who we are. I got married at a very early age. My husband and I were both 20 and we got married not because we were in love, but because we hated the idea of dating.

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Dating was horrible for me, I didn’t like dealing with people who had a slight allergic reaction to the truth, so I had all but sworn dating off, until I met my husband. I remember telling him at the tender age of 19 that I wanted to get married and that I wasn’t into dating for six months to a year because those people never got married. Yes, it is safe to say, I knew it all!!!

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After the wedding “Courthouse” I soon departed the DFW to start my life as my husband’s wife. We dated only three and half months, so we really didn’t know each other as we should have. On our way to Killeen, Texas we got into an argument about race relations. Jon isn’t African American and my experiences with race were totally foreign to him. So, here we are on our way to our new place and a conversation on race starts.

He talked about being sick of hearing black people use the race card and then my ears started to ring. I was like oh no, my husband is a racist, and it’s against me!!!I remember asking why did he feel that way and then he blurted out, just what have black people done for this country? I looked at him and politely smiled. I then spent the next three hours explaining what inventions black people had made, social advancements, and foods that he couldn’t live without.

Looking back on those days I am thankful, God blessed me to find my best friend in my husband, and I’m grateful my husband listened to me on that ride home. On that road two things became crystal clear that afternoon. Marriage wouldn’t be simple and communication was a very important key. It took us two years to really fall in love, I know it sounds horrible, but it’s true. Our marriage started out being about commitment and then it turned into love. We now have both elements in our relationship which makes it easy to wake up to the same man every morning. I guess it’s true, marriage is what you make it.

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Momville: Stories For Moms Who THOUGHT They Knew It All, Just Like I Did!!!!


“I heard a Fly buzz – when I died –
The Stillness in the Room
Was like the Stillness in the Air –
Between the Heaves of Storm –

The Eyes around – had wrung them dry –
And Breaths were gathering firm
For that last Onset – when the King
Be witnessed – in the Room –

I willed my Keepsakes – Signed away
What portion of me be
Assignable – and then it was
There interposed a Fly –

With Blue – uncertain – stumbling Buzz –
Between the light – and me –
And then the Windows failed – and then
I could not see to see -”
I heard a Fly buzz – when I died –

The Stillness in the Room
Was like the Stillness in the Air –
Between the Heaves of Storm –

The Eyes around – had wrung them dry –
And Breaths were gathering firm

For that last Onset – when the King
Be witnessed – in the Room –


I willed my Keepsakes – Signed away
What portion of me be
Assignable – and then it was
There interposed a Fly –



With Blue – uncertain – stumbling Buzz –
Between the light – and me –
And then the Windows failed – and then
I could not see to see –

Emily Dickinson

I decided to start Momville after looking at all the stories I had posted in relation to my children. It’s not a self help series, it’s more of a series that shows, we aren’t perfect. Momville includes questions that come with parenting and issues with learning how to let go. I’m a mother of three girls and one of them is about to be married in six months. My youngest is 13 and many of my postings in Momville will be about raising that 13 year old and the 17 year old with their unique way of seeing life.

My youngest is a YouTube personality, she is also in tennis, theater, and choir. This is the first time we’ve had a child on a sport’s teem. My oldest daughter is pretty much a computer geek, and the middle one, wants to be a chef or an actress. She is in theater, culinary arts and her normal high school schedule. I spend a lot of time talking about mental health issues because I have that in my family. I don’t like to hide it because I know I’m not alone. Plus, I think it helps to know that others are going through some of the same situations that you might be going through. My nightly conversations all tend to be geared towards pushing down walls and letting people in.

The thing about Momville is that it’s here to remind people that we are human. I went from thinking I knew everything about being a GOOD mom to understanding that I wasn’t the best mom in the world. As a matter of fact, I was letting my job get in the way of being a mom. It took me seeing a family grieve over the death of their daughter to make me see mine in a totally unrelenting view. I knew from that moment on, there was no job greater than being the mother to my girls and being there in their times of need. So, enjoy the stories found in Momville and think of how you can make your own. Above all else, just know, we are all in this together.

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Raising Women In Today’s America

As many of you know I have three daughters. Here’s two at the ballet trying hard to not be noticed. Didn’t want to risk their black/Puerto Rican cards! According to them, the ballet wasn’t a black/Puerto Rican thing. Whatever that means!

We talk a lot about race and hate in America. A lot of times we link hate to political groups. If you are Democratic, you hate all straight, white, rich Americans and if you are a Republican you hate all nonwhite, gay, anti-religious people, does that sound about right? Let’s look at those views for a second and see if they are a true representation of who we are.

We’ll use my daughters to see if the labeling appears to be valid or a myth. Take this photo for example and my very democratic girls. My husband and I are Independent, once we were moderately Republican. Both of our parents were Democrats. Now the spy in the picture happens to be my 21 year old. She’s engaged to a Republican. I didn’t see that coming to be honest, I knew that she would more than likely marry a white guy because she seemed to date only white guys, but the Republican thing surprised us! Her best friend is a member of the LGBT group.

The one on the phone hiding her face, is the would be black panther of the family.

She takes everything to heart and takes it very personal when things come down to race relations. The immigration thing really hit her the hardest because she was in earshot of a few calls I took from people doing random calls asking about thoughts on immigration. While my husband is Puerto Rican and served in the Army for 14 years, the immigration thing still wasn’t too far away from him. He was legal, but he was still Latin. My daughter felt like if America had a problem with one Spanish person, America had a problem with all Spanish people. So it really was a task explaining that most of us just wanted people to immigrate the right way, because doing it the right way allowed proper vetting. I explained in the grocery lane! I was like how would you feel if all those people at the end of the lane rushed in front of us? She was able to see that maybe it wasn’t fair to those waiting after all! Anyway! It wasn’t a surprise that her boyfriend would turn out to be black, but it was a surprise when he turned out to be Republican.

Now it comes down to this little lady! She’s her own woman. She’s the KPOP You-tuber that hates anything to do with politics, and race relations. She likes to show girls how to be stronger in relationship on her YouTube channel. She doesn’t allow me to help her which shows she will be just like her sisters , a woman with her own mind.

In other words, if you are worried about the state of America today, look inside your house for clues. Make sure you are raising children to be the best that they can be, and that you are not pushing your biases onto your children. I talk a lot of crap here and there, but at the end of the day, I try to make sure my children understand that people are just people.