Will The Real President Trump Please Stand Up?

President Trump made a move today which will go down in history as his Cuban Missile Crisis moment. He was able to separate his ego and put the needs of the country first. Often it has been wondered if President Trump would be able to place the country before the man. After today statements, we can now breathe a tad bit easier. Although, we are not out of the woods yet.

President Trump’s American Hero

President Trump will be remembered as one of the most interesting presidents in American history. The difference between President Trump and former presidents like President Reagan is the layers surrounding their beliefs. If you ask anyone about Reagan, Obama, Clinton, and even Carter you will find a set of beliefs that they seemed to occupy. Those beliefs were often embedded in their administration which produced their intended outcome most of the time.

Obama for the most part was very friendly with the press.

Perhaps this is where the majority of President Trump’s problems stemmed from, in the beginning of his presidency, he often shunned the press. We are a country that gets the bulk of our information via internet and news channels. Trump pretty much isolated himself from certain news outlets out of fear of misrepresentation. That isolation fed a mob of angry news agencies that continued to slander and twist certain articles of Truth-so he would call it. This is how the term fake news took root in his White House.

We will look back at some of the things President Trump has accomplished his first term in office. Soon after his inauguration President Trump started signing different laws into motion. One of the items on the list would be the revamping Veteran’s Affairs. Under Trump’s leadership Veteran’s Affairs would see cost of living allowance raised, a new appeal system, and a speedier way to navigate through the claims process.

They fought for you!

Trump would also go on to revamp the criminal justice system. He would oversee the handling of bills aiming towards reducing sentences for people who had committed nonviolent offenses. Many of the people who were serving time for crimes like simple possession of marijuana could now look to see their sentences reduced. President Trump also did something that not many former presidents can claim. He created another division of service. We now have the Space Force which if I understand it correctly is a branch of service related to the Air Force. These are ideas that I think are specifically tailored toward Trump.

So here comes the policies and events that cause confusion. We will tackle the issue of immigration first. If you haven’t been following immigration for a while, you might not be aware that the immigration issue started well before Obama. If you remember back to President Bush Jr. and Mexican President Vicente Fox, you should recall the immigration issue at it’s finest hour. Vicente Fox and President Bush both had a agreement of some sort which allowed Mexican workers to come to the United States. Here is just one of many articles showing how immigration grew in the U.S under a Republican president. https://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/Postmark

Similar practices soon started to balloon inside the United States and before you knew it Fox was justifying the practice by saying the people from Mexico were taking jobs that black or white person weren’t willing to take. http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/05/14/fox.jackson/ .

This practice went on for quite a while and it was one of the practices which Obama really hit on during his first election. He went on to revamp the immigration system so that more disenfranchised citizens would be allowed to enter the work force. In many ways prior to President Obama you were looking at in America that was very similar to pre Civil War America minus having slaves. The new slave labor was cheap labor with immigrants.

In walks president Trump, he takes the immigration battle even further. Trump is able to see that there were still a lot of people left out of the job market due to some of the same problems that took place before Obama took office. He cracks down on immigration , but the root has already taken place. Perhaps this is where many people start to dislike Trump. Trump understood how the immigration problem grew and established a plan to take back America. He went a little too far. This is perhaps the start of a very problematic stance. Some of the things that occurred during the take-back process were somewhat cruel. Yet, he felt it needed to be done to ensure future generations of Americans would never be jobless again.

For many people immigration would remain a big issue. Trump took away the safety net for people of protected status which soon started to split how Americans felt about immigration under the Trump administration.

Then walks in the continual inappropriate communication between Russia and lately Ukraine. The communication which often seems to be aimed at hindering our elections by way of interference led to his impeachment. This created a big problem for President Trump and some of the people who voted for him. I have often wondered if Trump has trust issues with his own base. Does he not trust his base enough to do things the right way? He moves like a person who feels like he is up against the ropes, but in reality he has a secure base.

His latest lapse in judgement would be the killing of the Iranian General. The assassination nearly tipped our country into another Middle Eastern conflict. In my opinion, we are living in a very dangerous time. We have both the Republican and Democratic party at odds with each other constantly, and trust is at an all-time low. Due to the strained relations between the Democrats and the Republicans President Trump decided to only talk to a few people about attacking the Iranian General. Without a formal meeting with his Congress he decided to take matters into his own hands which proved to be a Pandora’s box in the making.

If there were one piece of advice that I could give to our president today, it would be the trust your government meaning your Congress. Understand that you might not agree on all subjects but at the end of the day, you all have something in common. You want what’s best for America.

Is It Okay For White People To Have Self-love?

Yesterday, I was surfing the web and I came across this article on Yahoo. It was early in the morning and my glasses were nowhere to be found. So, I use the auto setting on my phone for a quick response!

Little did I know how many people would be stirred by the response. This morning the response gathered nearly 300 replies and then a sudden sadness took over.

I think we have inadvertently told a group of people that their pain and troubles lack substance because of their so called magical barrier called privilege.

We use the worlds white privilege like they are nothing. However, I would like to wager that white people hate that phrase about as much as we hate race card.

The truth is all people hurt and all people have specific obstacles they must overcome. The danger comes when we minimize the pain of one group by maximizing the difficulties of others.

Where does that group gain its strength and healing if we all fail to listen? One poster made a statement declaring that any minority would love to be white. I had to disagree because being white comes with stress of being born with a stain that never really seems to disappear. Every generation is blamed for the sins of people who lived many many years ago. Where is the privilege in that? There’s no privilege in not being able to talk about your struggles and have the term privilege thrown in your face.

Perhaps if we can stop focusing on who does this and who does that, we might be able to get a better idea of what matters. Unity has to include all people from all walks of life. If we look to end poverty we should look at ending all poverty. When looking at pain, we should look at healing all pain. When we minimize the struggle we push people away, and at the end of the day, we need each day other.

We know what racism is and isn’t. I challenge people to think outside of the box and ask yourself what can we do to change the heart of the matter.

Why Must We live In Labels?

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I remember growing up in school standing in the lunch line behind two very popular girls. As I patiently waited for my spot to reach the lunch lady, I heard one of the girls ask the other girl a question. She asked the other child who looked like me, why didn’t she like me. Of course, I immediately positioned my body so I could hear the bulk of the conversation. This was a question I wanted to know because it was odd always being the person being left out of conversations, celebrations and even down right hated at times. At least this is how I felt because to a young child all those things help to make up our social collage.

So, back to the memory! She leans in and tells the other girl that I wasn’t like them. I didn’t talk like them, act like them, or even look like them. Now this was a little confusing because I was most certainly black. My parents were black, my sisters were black, so how was I so different? Well, I guess if we entertain the not talking like them, perhaps there was a little validity in that comment. My parents wouldn’t allow me to listen to rap music and at the time I was growing up, rap music was popular. A lot of the slang that children used back in those days, I couldn’t use. Once again, the rule was to leave the extra at the door. I most certainly grew up black, but my parents raised me differently than most of the children, due to their age. My parents came from another generation which really focused on how people were perceived by the public.

All sorts of hell lived in my house, but the public never knew. As the students were saying I wasn’t black enough, my parents were teaching another lesson all together.  They were teaching me about black limitations. So, when I came home crying over my favorite teacher who had just died in a car wreck the night before my world grew even more confined. I was told that I shouldn’t be crying for the white woman because she didn’t really care about me, add that on top of the you can’t be this or that because you are black ,and you have the perfect confusion sundae.

I had enough around the age of 18, so I left the confusing small town behind with all the confused people in it. Sadly, I see those same confusing outlooks being washed over the black race today. People are telling us that we can’t be Republicans because we are black, or that we can’t be racist since we have no control. I’ll calling out both ideas today because both are wrong. My parents preventing me from grieving over a white teacher was racist. I do not care what anyone tells me or you about racism because it isn’t a one race problem.

Racism is like a cloud that spreads over the world that brings down an invisible layer of confusion. It hinders the way we treat each other and perceive each other. It makes enemies out of people who know nothing about each other due to the stigma attached to the unknown group. Ignorance is the perfect environment for racism to grow. It’s like a perfectly lit breeding ground for misinformation and chaos. When we start seeing ourselves as people without limits race seems to disappear into the background.  Does that mean all racist moments stop happening? Of course not, but it means we learn how to move through life without constantly tripping over the vines of racism. The vines in many ways are the obstacles that we place down. Perhaps, we tell ourselves that we will never be able to get the job because they are looking for someone who looks like her, he’ll never ask me out because I am not his race, or people who look like me do not live in houses like that.

Anyway, you cut it, hiding behind race creates invisible borders. Life isn’t about being boxed into any group, it’s about being able to weather storms. If you are looking for what divides us, look at those people preaching division. They are the dividers of the world, but that doesn’t mean we have to let them make us act out that way. As always think with your heart, it isn’t white, brown or black it’s just human. Don’t let certain ideologies pave your way just because it is a norm. Fight for understanding and the right to choose.

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Don’t forget to check out Ariana’s cooking show.

Understanding Children

So, as many of you know I have been debating the idea of continuing my blog. After thinking about things for a while, I have come to the conclusion that my job isn’t done. There are still so many issues out there and parents need answers.

At any moment parents are championing their children. Some of us are able to do a little more because of who we are. I have come to the conclusion that my blog doesn’t just help me, it also helps those out in the world. At any given time, I have readers from Spain, Africa, India, Europe and of course the USA reading my articles. I have even had people start to follow my blog after I decided to call it quits. My journey can’t be over, because the challenges of being a mother are far from over.

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So, in the latest saga of momville. This is the newest issue. Just this morning, I had to write this email. Just because the year is almost over, doesn’t mean we can’t help to make the next one a little better for our children.

Thank you for reaching out to me. I am in the process of sending emails in regards to Ariana and how relationships with her teachers need to be a little more therapeutic in the future. I think it is important for you guys to understand who you are teaching, so, allow me to introduce you to my daughter. Ariana Santiago, your student was a happy go lucky child. She has dealt with ADHD, and ADD all of her life. She was diagnosed with having an IQ of 65 in the third grade. This diagnosis was very defining in our history because it introduced a new type of struggle. We had to reintroduce things to her that people had sworn she couldn’t do. In the end, it resulted in her being tested again some years later. Her IQ then went from 65 to over 70 which puts her still in a sort of a danger zone, but we are still working with her to overcome obstacles. Some of the things we were told that her IQ wouldn’t allow her to do was to use microwaves, cook using detailed recipes or even use money. Your class is important to her because it will help her to attain even more goals. My daughter is a work in progress. She was able to go from having an intellectual disability to not having one in three years.  


Now, while all of this is happening inside of her body, on April 4th in 2004, she was attacked by 11 girls. This set us back and even added another issue we were never prepared to deal with. She would then try to commit suicide twice that week as a result of how violent the attack was. She has since had issues dealing with children and social interactions. The schools back in Garland worked with her extensively as well as us. Now, I do not want to point fingers, but your class is important to Ariana. Yet, some of the interactions have to stop in order for your class to not become a constant trigger. One of your first encounters with her dealt with you getting the entire class mad at her which made them upset and react in aggressive ways which resulted in her running out of the class into the bathroom and breaking down on the floor. When she came home she talked about how it made her think about those 11 girls and feelings that we were fighting so hard to help her deal with. So, this latest issue with her bringing a pizza into your class which resulted in her getting suspended because she stated that she would not give it up, has placed us on edge. 


Firstly, Ariana now gets how telling you that she purchased it with her money wasn’t the wisest of words, yet she still doesn’t understand why others are allowed to have food in the classroom. As her mother, I have no issues with telling my daughter when she is wrong. As her biggest advocate, I must inform you that if you are allowing others to eat in your room , you are setting up a very confusing situation. I have asked for someone to come to the room from time to time to check in on the treatment of my daughter in regards to you. I am not sure why there are issues or even if there are issues , but since this is the level of your concern ” Hello, this is Mrs. Fyffe.  I am Arianna’s Culinary teacher.  How can I help?”. I thought it was only warranted to let you know. Being her biggest supporter and a blogger on special events, I hope you take the time to read articles on how to interact with children like her. https://shellzonit.com/2019/03/04/our-children-and-our-reaction-to-bullying/ I will also post this email and send it to all of the teachers who work with my daughter and I hope this will be the start to a better bully free zone for her at your school. Bullying is never okay, no matter who the bullying is coming from.

In case you need more clarification, I have posted my daughter’s medical report from the incident; in case you fear I am just blowing smoke. If nothing else comes from this communication, I hope you understand how important it is for you to help Ariana build relationships in that class and not use your power to bring her down.

Keep fighting for those kiddos. The year was 2014, sorry about the typo for all who sees the posting. The recipient of the email has the right date on the medical record. Sorry, and never stop fighting for your children. Be very careful and mindful if your child has a disability that their rights are always respected. We want to make sure that ALL children have the same respect in and out of the classroom.

Momville: Stories For Moms Who THOUGHT They Knew It All, Just Like I Did!!!!


“I heard a Fly buzz – when I died –
The Stillness in the Room
Was like the Stillness in the Air –
Between the Heaves of Storm –

The Eyes around – had wrung them dry –
And Breaths were gathering firm
For that last Onset – when the King
Be witnessed – in the Room –

I willed my Keepsakes – Signed away
What portion of me be
Assignable – and then it was
There interposed a Fly –

With Blue – uncertain – stumbling Buzz –
Between the light – and me –
And then the Windows failed – and then
I could not see to see -”
I heard a Fly buzz – when I died –

The Stillness in the Room
Was like the Stillness in the Air –
Between the Heaves of Storm –

The Eyes around – had wrung them dry –
And Breaths were gathering firm

For that last Onset – when the King
Be witnessed – in the Room –


I willed my Keepsakes – Signed away
What portion of me be
Assignable – and then it was
There interposed a Fly –



With Blue – uncertain – stumbling Buzz –
Between the light – and me –
And then the Windows failed – and then
I could not see to see –

Emily Dickinson

I decided to start Momville after looking at all the stories I had posted in relation to my children. It’s not a self help series, it’s more of a series that shows, we aren’t perfect. Momville includes questions that come with parenting and issues with learning how to let go. I’m a mother of three girls and one of them is about to be married in six months. My youngest is 13 and many of my postings in Momville will be about raising that 13 year old and the 17 year old with their unique way of seeing life.

My youngest is a YouTube personality, she is also in tennis, theater, and choir. This is the first time we’ve had a child on a sport’s teem. My oldest daughter is pretty much a computer geek, and the middle one, wants to be a chef or an actress. She is in theater, culinary arts and her normal high school schedule. I spend a lot of time talking about mental health issues because I have that in my family. I don’t like to hide it because I know I’m not alone. Plus, I think it helps to know that others are going through some of the same situations that you might be going through. My nightly conversations all tend to be geared towards pushing down walls and letting people in.

The thing about Momville is that it’s here to remind people that we are human. I went from thinking I knew everything about being a GOOD mom to understanding that I wasn’t the best mom in the world. As a matter of fact, I was letting my job get in the way of being a mom. It took me seeing a family grieve over the death of their daughter to make me see mine in a totally unrelenting view. I knew from that moment on, there was no job greater than being the mother to my girls and being there in their times of need. So, enjoy the stories found in Momville and think of how you can make your own. Above all else, just know, we are all in this together.

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Do You Know What Your Children Do When You Aren’t Around?

My daughter and her friend went to a movie over the weekend. I like to snoop around and found this. She and her friend are hanging out in the theater playing cops and robbers! It’s safe to say no more movies will be in her near future. At least she was honest, I would have denied it! Because she can hardly been recognized, but we know our children. Thanks to Instagram for being the kid police. We are talking about this little one!

Please Remember The Greatest Will

After I left my job as an investigator, I promised to do something that would help to bring encouragement to families dealing with child abuse. I’ve always supported the idea of keeping children within the family if possible and this book really shows how one family risked it all to do that. I would love for you to read it if you find the time, but more importantly, I would love for you to understand the issue at hand.

There are so many children in the foster care system and many of those children turn out to be victims of street life. Many of the children run and we are now finding that they are also often pursued by sex traffickers. Children in the system are at a much higher risk of being recruited into that lifestyle due to them not having a way out of the system. It is extremely hard to place teens and if that teen has any mental health issues, it’s even harder.

If anything, I want to bring awareness to the fear of being separated through the eyes of a child and how certain areas remove without trying to keep the family together. My ex boss stated that she would purposely stay away from PD’s that wanted to try to keep the children in PCSP homes which is a placement option with family members or people close to that family. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when the family isn’t an option. However, if they can prove to be good, protective, and stable for these children, they should be viewed as an option. My ex boss would staff with removal happy PD’s and I found that alarming. She actually bragged about being the removal queen and staying away from PCSP’s which meant she was moving towards the state most of the time instead on trying to check family members out.

I had many arguments with people about doing the right thing instead of the easy thing. We really need to change the system and make sure all efforts are being made to keep children within their family units if the family proves to be safe. Write to your local leaders and talk to them about reporting, updated laws, and the need for new laws while dealing with social services. Nobody should be victimized twice.