The Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle Showcases How Interracial Marriages Can Be A Challenge In 2019.

Interracial marriages still face problems that many people do not truly understand. I think many people are under the impression that interracial marriages are fully accepted now because we see more couples in interracial relationships. However, what many people do not see is the struggles that still exist surrounding the couples on a day to day basis. Just take the gallery that I use for my blog pictures for example. There were plenty of pictures showcasing loving relationships, but hardly any of them were of interracial relationships.

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When Meghan Markle married Prince Harry over a year ago many like myself were over the moon! It was a win for love and one more nail in the coffin for racism, so we thought. You see more couples that choose to marry outside of their race today, but what you do not see is the racism that comes with that choice. I recall the first time I witnessed issues stemming from my marriage some years ago. We went to a retreat near Big Bear which showcased how couples were supposed to communicate with each other. After our lessons were over, the couples would all head towards the cafeteria and mingle. My husband and I weren’t approached by anyone and to make matters worse later that night we had to share the room with a couple that seemed to be fixated on what being black meant. Later on we would get looks from others. We would also have incidents were certain people would try to pick at the spouse that wasn’t the “correct” race.

What we are seeing today with The Duchess of Sussex and The Duke of Sussex is the real face of acceptance. Nobody wants to admit to being a bigot, but with the curtains now pulled back, we are seeing that bigotry is alive and well. Don’t get me wrong, we have made advances in gaining the right to marry who we want to marry. However, attitudes are still somewhat jaded by many when it comes to interracial marriages. Do you recall the commercial that sparked a debate on interracial marriage just 6 years ago.

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Pick any high profile couple that happens to be married to someone outside of their race and ugly comments are not far away. After Matthew McConaughey married Camila Alves there were comments about how he could have done so much better. Never mind she is drop dead gorgeous, but some still felt that she was not fit to be his wife because she wasn’t white. Comments were made after Serena Williams married Alexis Ohanian and so on. Anytime you see a interracial marriage, get ready to see ugly comments. People have been called race traders, nigger lovers, mud sharks, Oreo cookies, and other hurtful names.

The best part of it all, at least in my opinion, is that interracial couples are increasing at a higher rate. My soon to be son-in-law is white and my other daughter’s boyfriend in Chinese. The hate hasn’t scared people away from being people. It shows that even though racism still occurs, it isn’t turning people away from wanting to be with the ones they love. As for my relationship, the looks and the ignorance made us stronger as a couple. The harder people looked us, the tighter we held onto each other. It was us against the world and it has been that way for almost 23 years now. So, let’s hope The Duke and Duchess learn how to embrace to power of love and true unity because their love is a love that will be tested. However, pressure creates diamonds, so let the hate keep coming, their love will just keep shining.

Here We Go!!! First Morning Of School 2019/2020

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And we are off! Alison has to be at swim class in 42 minutes. Yes. I said it right, she is in swim class. I am really thankful I taught her how to swim about two years ago, but I am willing to bet they might have to go over a few things. She has a really demanding schedule for this year. Ariana is taking ROTC this year which is different. When we lived in Garland, the school wanted her to take ROTC for the Air Force, but she chickened out. She isn’t overly happy about ROTC, but it might help her with self discipline.

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As for me, I’m scared and excited all at once. I am scared because I need to be something I have never really been in the past. I have to be super structured in making sure they have their allotted time for homework. So, this is the plan, I will pick them up after school and bring them home. Last year Ally walked and it was super stressful because at times she would go over her friend’s house which would take away from homework time.

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This year we will come home station ourselves in the living room and put all cellphones in the table and have 1 hour of homework time or school depress time if you may. After I told them about the new rules, Alison whispered to Ariana that we were turning white! Whatever that means!!! As for mom, I signed up for Ubereats! I want to do something that allows me the freedom that I need when it comes with taking care of my mommy responsibilities. It’s 6:21 and a hear a coffee cup calling my name. So, have a great morning and I will see you later to let you know how the new rules work out.

Update!!! 7:08 So, we dropped Alison off and she isn’t really feeling the before 7 AM class! I hope she feels better as time goes by because the schedule isn’t changing. I felt a little bad for the reporter that tried to talk to her this morning. From the looks of it, Ally kind of pushed her away with her eyes. I saw her pull my daughter over only to see her look a little funny as Ally walked away in her leave me alone mood. Welcome to my world!

Chicago, The Ignored

Last night I turned on my radio and ran across an interview on Fox. I want to say it was right before the Laura Ingraham show, but I am not certain because I was listening in my Jeep. I heard an interview with some residents of Chicago that broke my heart. One lady mentioned how bringing in the National Guard and putting a curfew in place would be about the only way to help the city. After I made it home, I found the program it was on, so I want to post the interview and show you how this city is dealing with their anguish.

https://video.foxnews.com/v/6068764076001/#sp=show-clips

You know, I am not a supporter of Trump or really anyone at this point. However, I do find myself liking Andrew Yang because he is the only one not trying to cash in on the shootings from this weekend. At this point, I just find it incredibly sad that people are saying that they need help and so many of our leaders aren’t listening. It brings me back to the Janise Harris case when she was reported missing and then social media was able to grab on and she was found in a matter of hours. During those hours, tweets went out to President Trump, Senator Harris, Senator Booker, Oprah Winfrey, and Former President Obama. It was trending half of the day for the United States and nobody said a word. This 15 year old Chicagoan was missing and not even the leaders in Chicago would take notice. Finally, after hours more the outlets in Chicago took notice. Yet, the mayor and the representatives of the city stood silent. As a result of the neglect, the city has become under siege by crime. They had a shooting take place on Sunday which saw at least 7 people die in two different incidents with more that 50 people injured. This is the information from their CBS news.

In the 90’s I visited Chicago, that was my first time seeing people get shot at. From out of nowhere a group of young guys came running and you could see a little stream of smoke. They yelled that someone was shooting at them and my friend and I both ducked down and hid as they continued running on their way. It was a real wake up call for me and my future in Chicago. Needless to say, I soon called my parents and asked if they would buy me a ticket to come back to Texas.

The harsh fact is that the residents of Chicago might not have any other choice but to live in Chicago or sadly, die in Chicago because that appears to be the outcome. Our government has forgotten them even today we hear about the other two mass shootings, but we hear very little about how Chicago is dealing with their death. We do not talk about how a hospital had to stop taking victims in Chicago because of the amount of wounded.

In many ways it feels as if we are leaving a man down in a burning building while we are looking for others to save. Once again leadership comes into view. Who are the leaders and what are they doing to improve their towns? Gun control should not just be a focus when the climate seems ripe and ready to yield a reward for those running for office.

In cities like Chicago gun control might not be enough anymore. We might need to start bringing in martial law just like the citizen asked on the Fox program last night. What are your feelings on bringing marital law to an American city if it means saving the city in the process? Please vote below.

When To Report Children Missing

I’m seeing information about children who have been missing for over a month and I just wanted to share something with you. The sooner you report a child missing the sooner cops can get involved. If the police do not want to get involved, go to social media. Make sure you know which sites your children use. Get to know their handles, and the handles of their friends. If you have multiple computers keep one logged in under one of their sites so you can see movement. Also tag their phones, it might give you an idea of where they are. One of the things I ask for, which is perhaps my children’s most dreaded request, is the stand still photo.

I make them take a photo of themselves with their surroundings in view. If they are talking to someone new on social media, I make them do the cup on head photo. Why the cup on head? Easy, you might have a lot of photos in your house, but chances are you will not have any with you holding a cup on your head. You can always pick another authenticator but that’s is my thing!

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Have photos of your children ready to go, you would be surprised how many people do not have updated photos of children. Keep those photos near and ready. Also make your children get school ID cards, it will help for jobs and stuff like that, until they can get state Ids.

If it is a child that might not be in your custody all the time and you suspect the child is a victim of any type of abuse you want to get Child Protective Services involved ASAP. They will be able to do a joint investigation with local law enforcement and perhaps even send out a CSCAL depending on where you live. Again you can do this if you think someone was put in harm’s way because their guardian didn’t do a good job taking care of them, this is something you would want to let CPS know. Remember we are living in a dangerous world, and there are sex trafficking hubs in every city. These traffickers are at the malls, bus stations, parks and even lurking at places like food courts.

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So, try the social media sites, know the social media sites, know the friends and if you get nothing, call the cops. Do not wait for hours, call after you get no reply from the social media sites. Hey, if she comes home a few hours later all the better, but you never want to wait a day to report or even half a day to report. Report your child as a runaway if you have to, just report. If all else fails, go to social media. Use Twitter, Facebook and anything else you can get your hands on. Tweet it to the world.

Get to know sites like http://www.missingkids.org/ and local runaway shelters in your areas. If there is an issue with a minor running away, it might be time to get help from some of the local community providers who provide counseling. https://www.1800runaway.org/

Loving What You Do Makes Things So Much Easier

So, last week we posted my daughter’s episode for her YouTube channel and something magical happened. If you watch the video you will see her just come to life. For a while, cooking has been her coping skill especially after PTSD took over. It really helped to act as a caldron for the negative energy she was feeling.

It is so important to establish something positive when dealing with children who have been victims of bullying. We started her YouTube channel two maybe three weeks ago and since then she has stayed three nights at a friend’s house. Some of you might be like that’s not a big deal. Well, for her it was a big deal because prior to three weeks ago she had never felt confident to stay away from home, we are talking about 5 yrs of not wanting to be close to anyone other than us. Her friend was like you are 17 and never slept over anyone’s house and she was like nope!

So of course when her friend stayed over here, I might have went a little all out! I talk so much about what she has been through and this video just shows how she’s laughing and loving life. If you are dealing with children who were victims of bullying, remember being there is number one. Don’t try to push them into anything until they are ready. I might have suggested she try a food show, but it’s all her.

Decorating On Half!

When I first started this blog I had just moved into this house with multiple rooms to try to furnish. If some of you are new to my blog which means you have been following me less than a year, you recall my story. If not I will do a quick refresher. My family basically went from an income of over 100000 a year to almost half of that with hopes of zeroing in on what we deemed as most important which was family.

We didn’t really downsize in the house because we couldn’t, but we had to find a cheaper way of decorating the house. We moved into this house about 1 year and four months ago. At that time we had 3.5 empty rooms which would need to be furnished at some point in the future. This is how we managed to update our house on a budget using sales and The Dollar General. We took three major areas inside our house and turned them into purpose driven rooms.

Due to the house being so large, finding furniture was a really big issue. Now that we were on a tighter budget we would have to pay special attention to sales and stores. One of the big reasons I gave up my job was because I wanted to be there for the girls. As an investigator I spent hours away from home which resulted in many 16 to 18 hour days. So, we decided that we would create a room for fun time. The room would be a central location or like a mini hub within the house.

We managed to make sure that one of us is always facing the children.

The person in the corner is able to look into the kitchen and keep an eye on my 13 yr old’s door while the person on the other side is able to keep an eye on the area my 17 yr old would be emerging from. I like to pay attention to faces. If someone isn’t in a good mood, I want to be the first one to notice it. One of the big issues I ran into when I was an investigator was not being able to notice the simple stuff with my children because I was never home. The girls were miserable because they had an absent mom. I tried to push expensive phones and trips ever so often their way, but it didn’t really help. It didn’t hit home just how miserable they were until I found out that my 13 yr old was self mutilating. So, now that I am home, my main focus is on my girls.

With all of that said, we call this location the hub area of our home. We are still looking to upgrade the table. Finding the perfect computer table isn’t easy when there are three computers in the house. We do not believe in computers being in the rooms, so until we can find a table, the dining table is the temporary home.

This is the real dining table. Someone needs to tell my husband that the picture needs to be centered!!! Not really! I did it.

So, for those of you who might be thinking oh my gosh she traded her eating table for computers! Never fear, here’s the table, right here! We managed to get it on sale from a local furniture store. I like the idea of pubs and this table kind of reminds me of Obrien’s Irish Pub down the street. So, I managed to capture it for my home!

Take notice of the dog gate because it is awesome. I needed something large enough and long enough to keep my dogs out of the guest entertaining area. It was embarrassing having to always explain tears and rips caused by my four legged babies, so when we got new furniture I had to hit Amazon up for a dog gate. Heck, I didn’t even know that gates came in any size other than for a small door, so when I found there were gates large enough to protect two doorways, I did a major happy dance. This means I do not have to explain anything else, or deal with stains on my carpet. Carpet keeps odors in so keep that in mind if you are thinking about getting a new place to live and you are a pet owner.

This shows a better picture of the dog gate. It even matches my furniture. It is large enough to keep my middle size dog from climbing over, but it isn’t 100 percent perfection. He has knocked it over once because it wasn’t positioned the right way. I do not think you can ever really protect yourself against future bathroom incidents involving pets, but certain materials make it easier to clean up. So, we do not do cloth fabric sofas. We like the idea of being able to wipe things off just in case the unthinkable becomes a reality! When it comes to carpets we go really cheap, I am talking Walmart’s 50 bucks cheap! It is much easier to replace a 50 dollar carpet than a 350 dollar carpet. Remember you are trying to have a home you can enjoy, but you are also trying to have a home that will not make you cry if something happens like an accident on the carpet.

We took three areas and turned them into safe areas for my children and pets. If you live like us, you can’t afford to be replacing stuff every year. While our pets are part of our family, we still want to entertain others who might not like the idea of our furry babies getting so up close and personal. So, the gate really does help to section off where they can roam. All of this was done under 4k.

If Only Food Could Cure Racist Hearts

Leave it up to kids to come up with the most simple forms of expressing love! I’ve just finished up my lunch for today, and all of the ingredients were purchased from the local meat market down the road because my babies want to show their support. It isn’t an American market, it is a Mexican market and the only one that sells taco meat worth anything in this area.

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To be honest, I couldn’t imagine the store not being here. Two weeks ago we found ourselves roaming the aisles of the Korean Market in a nearby city. Once again, I couldn’t imagine the market not being there.

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In the near future I plan to go back to the Indian Market to try out new spices and see if I can find anything that beginners like myself might be able to create. In my opinion, food gives us a glimpse of who people are. It is a comforting item but so much more. In any given neighborhood around the globe there’s something beautiful to be seen. There are spices to try, new smells to smell, and bottled up warmth waiting for those who need it the most.

Perhaps that is the reason I always tell people to hold on to what they have. My mother had so many recipes and was the best cook ever. However, I didn’t get any of that knowledge from her. Our special moments and my cherished memories all go back to her cooking chocolate pies, cookies, and casseroles.

I’ve found that my daughter comes to life in the kitchen much like my mother. Her shy demeanor goes out of the window the minute she starts talking about cooking. With that said, on a different note! We decided that we will help out stores that might not get much traffic due to the fears from our government. We will be frequenting the Korean market, Mexican markets, and Indian markets because they are part of our community. I’m sure our government will figure this mess out.

As always if you want to see Ariana’s newest YouTube video check it out below.