When The Bullying Lines Get Blurred: Nikocado Avocado Vrs Stephanie Soo

The Issue With Online Drama

If you’ve been with my blog for a year more then you know about my struggle with the effects of bullying. My daughter who’s now 18 was mob attacked when she was 12. The attack happened on a playground with 11 to 12 girls around the ages 11 to 13.

This was a show that Ariana did after the incident.

Now both of my children love watching YouTube and one is a fanfiction YouTuber. So, naturally I take notice to what they’re watching and who they are watching. Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed a feud going on between Stephanie Soo and Nick Avocado.

What is it showing the youth?

Now both parties have pretty much been going back and forth because of an incident that happened at Miss Soo’s house. I am not here take a side, but I must point out something that I’m finding very disturbing among comments directed toward Nickacado.

Negative comments only make matters worse.

Within the past 15 hours Nickacado alluded to the fact that he was seeing or had an appointment with a therapist. Rather or not you believe this to be true, or you believe it be fiction, I think everyone needs to understand that words have an impact on all of us. Regardless of your loyalty, you should never wish harm on another person.

So many times we downplay mental illness, or we downplay signs of depression. Some of us might even try to justify by stating that the person bought the situation on themselves. However, that isn’t reason to keep inflicting pain on an individual. It’s okay to identify with people, but when you take on someone else’s pain and turn it into your own you are crossing a line.

The YouTube community has to understand that young vulnerable children are paying attention to these feuds. While many of these feuds might prove to be entertaining, they can also be very draining for someone who’s been through very similar ordeals. You never know when someone’s going to look at a post, read the post which was intended for someone else, and all of a sudden have a trigger reopened with those very same words coming back to them.

If you or your child is a victim of bullying at this point, I would stay clear of the Nick and Stephanie Soo feud because at this point it, I see it as counterproductive. Finger pointing never made any situation better and it isn’t effective in rebuilding relationships. We want both parties to come out of this situation healthy and strong.

Living In A Racial Climate With Children

It shouldn’t be a secret at this point, we are living in a racial climate. Whether you are living in the United States or in the UK, at this point there’s no escaping race issues. So, with the weekend at our feet, I thought it would a good idea to leave you with this.

Photo by Loe Moshkovska on Pexels.com

We do not have to look like each other, hold the same credentials, practice the same religion, or even use the same vocabulary! We simply need to do one thing when it comes to weathering the storm. We need to understand that underneath it all, we are all the same. We all house emotions, have goals, and live in this world.

What inspired this post, some of you might be thinking! It comes from a conversation at the dinner table that was innocent, but very telling at the same time. We do not normally gather at the dinner table for dinner unless it is Christmas or Thanksgiving. Last night we decided we would try something new because we have been finding cups in the children’s rooms. So, after the chicken was roasted, we informed the kids that we would be eating dinner at the table.

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

As we headed to the table and took our seats, one of the girls stated how we were being like white families. She then smiled and scooped a thing of potatoes on her plate. My husband looked at me and I in return looked back at my daughter. I informed her that when I was younger I never ate anywhere besides the dinning room. We ate dinner as a family. I didn’t know that children were seeing something like eating at the table or the lack of it, as a racial expectation. It was a teaching moment for not only us, but for the girls as well. The moment resulted in explaining that race has nothing to do with where we eat! We explained that perhaps culture played a part in what might be found on people’s plates, but that it wasn’t fair to conclude that certain groups shunned tables! Then it was on to the next topic which was about boys and sending inappropriate pictures. That’s a story for Monday! Have a great weekend.

Learning How To Add The Yes You Can Factor!

Sometimes it’s easy to get carried away with our definition of attainable. Perhaps, we were never told yes you can while growing up, so we do not know how to be supportive when our children need us to give those affirmations. To be honest, some of us might not even understand what it means to live in a world that showcases things as being attainable. So, let this be the theme of today.

Photo by Rahul on Pexels.com

Take it from Thomas Edison and perhaps my favorite quote of all times. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Do not let a problem keep you down because there’s always another day. Earlier this week we talked about my car breaking down and how scary that whole situation was. There were times that I wanted to cry, yell, or even call the dealership and curse them out. However, my goal was to get home, so keeping a positive outlook was vital.

I have tried to pass that mindset to my children. It isn’t about how horrible things are, but it’s about how we can make them better. If we see our goals as attainable we will continue to walk towards them. I go back to the day I was in the living room with my mother. I was around the age of 9 and was mesmerized by anything with mummies in it. I wanted to be an archeologist and that is exactly what I told her! She looked at me and informed me that black people weren’t those things and to stop talking nonsense.

I wish I knew then the things I know now. Color does not define what we can and can’t do. It is the mindset giving birth to the idea of attainability. I can achieve this goal if I work for it, I will achieve this goal because I will work hard to achieve it. At lease that is the message I give my children. Today, I am happy to announce that my daughter has transitioned into actively working towards her goal in becoming a foodie.

What the makings of a dream come true below.

She’s even managed to get 2 subscribers! They are her friends, but they still count! Oh wait let me add one more to the mix! I forgot to subscribe.

Knowing How To Spot Munchausen Syndrome

Many of you have probably seen the show on Hulu called The Act. As an ex child abuse investigator, I have been pretty vocal on knowing what and when to report child abuse. This morning we are going to talk about learning how to report abuse and when normal isn’t normal.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

One of my most emotional cases dealt with a young mother who nearly mastered the art of deception. The case was centered around a toddler who was subject to multiple surgeries and needless test. By the time I entered the picture the mother had started keeping a visual log of photos detailing her abuse. I still remember seeing the enormous stack of photos and having a chill of sudden fear run down my spine.

I’ll never know why she kept so many photos of her son detailing every sick moment. My gut tells me that she was going to use those photos as a reason to assign death at a later date. We are talking about hundreds of photos with nothing but sickness and a detailed walk down torture lane. She knew the right words, she knew the right people, but she got a little too overconfident in the end.

Photo by Leah Kelley on Pexels.com

In the end I got my butt chewed off by our lawyers and the judge because I did something most investigators would never do, I went against the hospital by forcing their hand in learning the truth. When I got the case this child was slowly dying, he wasn’t gaining weight, and he was on a pure liquid diet. I had to threaten hospital social workers in order to keep him safe, but by the end of three weeks, I had all medical proof I needed.

His vitals rebounded, he gained well into the 50th percentile and he was now starting to eat by mouth. The child I saw weeks ago couldn’t sit up and he couldn’t wave at me. Now he was now able to walk around the hospital room and give me his toy trucks. We were awarded custody of him, but we couldn’t get the DA to sign off on charges of child abuse due to them not knowing much about the Munchausen Syndrome.

Two things could have saved this kid a lot of pain and heartache. The first thing is having a medical professional call in a case prior to him being nearly 4 or 5. By the time I stepped in, he had already been to quite a few hospitals. All of the doctors said they suspected something was off. They were taking notes, but the mother moved from place to place.

Correspondence is key when you are dealing with someone who suffers from this syndrome. If these hospitals would have linked up a year ago, this child would have been removed a lot sooner. Another provider stated that she felt like they were being forced into performing surgeries by the parent. The parent knew just enough medical terminology to fake symptoms and syndromes.

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

This child was surrounded by medical personnel but it took years for someone to call in the abuse. Remember you work for the child. If you are an investigator , be diligent. I know the department presses you to close cases due to numbers, but life surpasses any number system. If you feel like something feels wrong, investigate it. Do not close that case until YOU are sure that child is safe.

Lastly, never assume that certain people can’t be abusers. If you saw little Todd walking and eating three months ago and now every time you see him he has a sippy cup in hand, ask why. If you babysit this child and he eats for you, but the mother swears that he can’t eat, ask why. If you still feel like something is off, call CPS. You just might be saving a life.