Interracial marriages still face problems that many people do not truly understand. I think many people are under the impression that interracial marriages are fully accepted now because we see more couples in interracial relationships. However, what many people do not see is the struggles that still exist surrounding the couples on a day to day basis. Just take the gallery that I use for my blog pictures for example. There were plenty of pictures showcasing loving relationships, but hardly any of them were of interracial relationships.
When Meghan Markle married Prince Harry over a year ago many like myself were over the moon! It was a win for love and one more nail in the coffin for racism, so we thought. You see more couples that choose to marry outside of their race today, but what you do not see is the racism that comes with that choice. I recall the first time I witnessed issues stemming from my marriage some years ago. We went to a retreat near Big Bear which showcased how couples were supposed to communicate with each other. After our lessons were over, the couples would all head towards the cafeteria and mingle. My husband and I weren’t approached by anyone and to make matters worse later that night we had to share the room with a couple that seemed to be fixated on what being black meant. Later on we would get looks from others. We would also have incidents were certain people would try to pick at the spouse that wasn’t the “correct” race.
What we are seeing today with The Duchess of Sussex and The Duke of Sussex is the real face of acceptance. Nobody wants to admit to being a bigot, but with the curtains now pulled back, we are seeing that bigotry is alive and well. Don’t get me wrong, we have made advances in gaining the right to marry who we want to marry. However, attitudes are still somewhat jaded by many when it comes to interracial marriages. Do you recall the commercial that sparked a debate on interracial marriage just 6 years ago.
Pick any high profile couple that happens to be married to someone outside of their race and ugly comments are not far away. After Matthew McConaughey married Camila Alves there were comments about how he could have done so much better. Never mind she is drop dead gorgeous, but some still felt that she was not fit to be his wife because she wasn’t white. Comments were made after Serena Williams married Alexis Ohanian and so on. Anytime you see a interracial marriage, get ready to see ugly comments. People have been called race traders, nigger lovers, mud sharks, Oreo cookies, and other hurtful names.
The best part of it all, at least in my opinion, is that interracial couples are increasing at a higher rate. My soon to be son-in-law is white and my other daughter’s boyfriend in Chinese. The hate hasn’t scared people away from being people. It shows that even though racism still occurs, it isn’t turning people away from wanting to be with the ones they love. As for my relationship, the looks and the ignorance made us stronger as a couple. The harder people looked us, the tighter we held onto each other. It was us against the world and it has been that way for almost 23 years now. So, let’s hope The Duke and Duchess learn how to embrace to power of love and true unity because their love is a love that will be tested. However, pressure creates diamonds, so let the hate keep coming, their love will just keep shining.
Now that Kensington Palace has released a message in regards to the treatment of both The Duchess or Sussex and The Duchess of Cambridge, we can now all exhale. I’m just so happy that that both women are now going to be able to get a break from some of the harsh treatment that has been thrown their way over the past months.
My daughter was a victim of bullying and I can tell you as a mother, it hurts to see your children in pain. The Duchess of Sussex was a victim of cyber-bullying. It’s perhaps one of the hardest ones to deal with because it is everywhere you turn. No matter how you feel about a person, never forget that people have feelings. Riches do not protect against harsh words and treatment. So, please remember that in your future journey. Life doesn’t have to be bitter.
Lastly, support these women like they were your sisters, daughters and best friends. A woman once told me to practice my nagging in front of a mirror before I tried them out on my husband. She insisted that if I didn’t like the way the words looked coming back at me then chances were he wouldn’t either. Maybe that’s a reason I will be married 22 yrs tomorrow. Kindness moves the world.
I’ve been married for almost 22 years come next month. Sometimes marriage can be easy, but then there are times when it can be very hard. Yet, I wouldn’t trade either times because they make us who we are. I got married at a very early age. My husband and I were both 20 and we got married not because we were in love, but because we hated the idea of dating.
Dating was horrible for me, I didn’t like dealing with people who had a slight allergic reaction to the truth, so I had all but sworn dating off, until I met my husband. I remember telling him at the tender age of 19 that I wanted to get married and that I wasn’t into dating for six months to a year because those people never got married. Yes, it is safe to say, I knew it all!!!
After the wedding “Courthouse” I soon departed the DFW to start my life as my husband’s wife. We dated only three and half months, so we really didn’t know each other as we should have. On our way to Killeen, Texas we got into an argument about race relations. Jon isn’t African American and my experiences with race were totally foreign to him. So, here we are on our way to our new place and a conversation on race starts.
He talked about being sick of hearing black people use the race card and then my ears started to ring. I was like oh no, my husband is a racist, and it’s against me!!!I remember asking why did he feel that way and then he blurted out, just what have black people done for this country? I looked at him and politely smiled. I then spent the next three hours explaining what inventions black people had made, social advancements, and foods that he couldn’t live without.
Looking back on those days I am thankful, God blessed me to find my best friend in my husband, and I’m grateful my husband listened to me on that ride home. On that road two things became crystal clear that afternoon. Marriage wouldn’t be simple and communication was a very important key. It took us two years to really fall in love, I know it sounds horrible, but it’s true. Our marriage started out being about commitment and then it turned into love. We now have both elements in our relationship which makes it easy to wake up to the same man every morning. I guess it’s true, marriage is what you make it.
Many years ago when I was a teenager much like my own children, I couldn’t wait to leave home. I was tired of the dirt roads, snakes, crickets, giant frogs, and most of all the little house that I called home. After I married my husband, I then started traveling with him and the military. I slowly started to see value in that little land that I used to dread. I grew to miss the greens, peach cobblers, fried chicken, and holidays which always included my mother baking chocolate pies.
Duchess Meghan’s perhaps had that same feeling of nostalgia that only a visit from home could treat. It’s very difficult to live in a country outside of your own. The norms are different, the scenery is different, the feel is different until you find your own unique fit in with that country’s lifeline. Yes, I meant to say lifeline. The very lifeline of a person coincides with where they are located. At least that’s my opinion, but who am I?
Duchess Meghan will grow to feel a certain level of comfort with the UK especially after her child arrives. I just hope the UK can let her newly appointed title Mom soak in before they start playing the scolding game. I am a sucker for love, and I feel like it really does triumph over all. However, I’m glad the Duchess has her support system across the pond right now. Sometimes it’s necessary to take a break and find comfort in the arms of those who love you. Nostalgia with action can be a great way to warm the soul.
I’ve been following Prince Harry and Prince William’s life ever since their mother died. I can tell you where I was on that heartbreaking night of August 31, 1997. My husband had just left for a 30 day field activity in another state and I was around six months pregnant. I started having this horrible ligament pain rip across the lower part of my belly, just as the special report broke across the TV. I don’t know if it was because of the terrible pain I was in or the sadness of the situation, but I sat up in the middle of the bed with my hand on my belly, crying my eyes out. I just remember being on my knees looking at the TV crying and wondering why the heck was my stomach feeling so horrible.
I’ve often wondered what kind of women I will lead within my own household. I pray my daughters are strong, smart, funny, and caring. In many ways their path will be laid out due to the lessons I’ve taught them over the years. This is a testament for the kind of Princes that Princess Diana and Prince Charles influenced by their lives. It could also be a result of things that happened prior to Queen Elizabeth II taking the throne from her father in 1952. She has really been a strong woman and a symbol of change. This Royal family seems to be cemented in the idea of love. While there have been some issues, that every other person in the world encounters, they have managed to hold tight to family.
Prince William trilled us when he finally decided to marry Duchess of Cambridge Catherine Middleton. In many ways it was a true Cinderella Story! She was a normal girl and then one day she wasn’t. The Duchess of Cambridge had a fairly easy transition to her newly appointed life. While there would always be little pings of jealousy from those who disliked her, she would still pretty much be shielded from the bulk of the drama. Her family didn’t try to steal attention or cause waves to benefit from her marriage.
In comes the Duchess of Sussex, she’s not only common, but she’s American. She’s not only American, she’s half African American from a broken family with stars in their eyes. The Duchess of Sussex is a dream for little girls of color. She didn’t have to make out with a frog to get the handsome guy, she only had to be herself. I must go on record and tell you how much I hate the Princess and the Frog. Moving on, this relationship was set up to be the perfect fairy tale until her family started acting like evil characters from another version of Cinderella.
I went from being super happy for the Duchess to being super sad and somewhat frustrated. If I’m feeling this way from my little desk in Texas, she must be feeling it a million times more. Now her father has taken his drama to a new low, he published a letter that she wrote to him. I will not dare put it on my blog because I respect the daughter parent relationship too much for that, but I will tell you that her words melt my heart. As parents we have to do better. We should always be in protect mode and I feel like her father has demonstrated that he is now in protect self mode. I’m sending hugs to the Duchess of Sussex this morning and letting her know, it’s okay.
The birth of a person seldom happens once. It happens every time we rise from the fire.
Is the media trying to turn the public against the Duchess of Sussex ? We’ve read many articles this month that have showcased her in a very unflattering light. She’s been picked on for cradling her stomach, being too large, not having on the right color nail polish, and in a few hours it will be something else. I feel sorry for her because she not only has a family that will stop at nothing to hurt her reputation, but now she has the media doing the same. Perhaps, the media has always been her problem , but they just didn’t have the right ammo. When people turned their eye from her sister and father, the media turned onto something else that could hinder her. They would cast her as a woman with an ego problem which centered around her being hard to work for.
“I have the heart of a man, not a woman, and I am not afraid of anything.”
Here is the states, we have strong women who marched in the #Metoo movement, Suffrage movement, and the Civil Rights movement. It’s in our blood to be strong because there was no other way. When the men went off to war, women were left back to tend the farms, houses, and protect their families. Call it the gift from the frontier, if you must, but it was the American way.
As it stands, the Duchess of Sussex was brought up by a strong female, I do not see her forgetting who she is, due to the crown. She can be a little more outspoken because she will not be Queen. However, at the end of the day, being outspoken shouldn’t make her a target, and I feel like the Duchess of Sussex has been targeted because she’s part of those women who are movers and shakers.
In life we all have our parts to play. The Duchess of Sussex is being the supporter, and that should be okay. Just don’t forget your part because we are in a never ending play. Some of us just don’t know it yet.