One Mighty Word. LOVE

I’ve been married for almost 22 years come next month. Sometimes marriage can be easy, but then there are times when it can be very hard. Yet, I wouldn’t trade either times because they make us who we are. I got married at a very early age. My husband and I were both 20 and we got married not because we were in love, but because we hated the idea of dating.

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Dating was horrible for me, I didn’t like dealing with people who had a slight allergic reaction to the truth, so I had all but sworn dating off, until I met my husband. I remember telling him at the tender age of 19 that I wanted to get married and that I wasn’t into dating for six months to a year because those people never got married. Yes, it is safe to say, I knew it all!!!

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After the wedding “Courthouse” I soon departed the DFW to start my life as my husband’s wife. We dated only three and half months, so we really didn’t know each other as we should have. On our way to Killeen, Texas we got into an argument about race relations. Jon isn’t African American and my experiences with race were totally foreign to him. So, here we are on our way to our new place and a conversation on race starts.

He talked about being sick of hearing black people use the race card and then my ears started to ring. I was like oh no, my husband is a racist, and it’s against me!!!I remember asking why did he feel that way and then he blurted out, just what have black people done for this country? I looked at him and politely smiled. I then spent the next three hours explaining what inventions black people had made, social advancements, and foods that he couldn’t live without.

Looking back on those days I am thankful, God blessed me to find my best friend in my husband, and I’m grateful my husband listened to me on that ride home. On that road two things became crystal clear that afternoon. Marriage wouldn’t be simple and communication was a very important key. It took us two years to really fall in love, I know it sounds horrible, but it’s true. Our marriage started out being about commitment and then it turned into love. We now have both elements in our relationship which makes it easy to wake up to the same man every morning. I guess it’s true, marriage is what you make it.

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Raising Women In Today’s America

As many of you know I have three daughters. Here’s two at the ballet trying hard to not be noticed. Didn’t want to risk their black/Puerto Rican cards! According to them, the ballet wasn’t a black/Puerto Rican thing. Whatever that means!

We talk a lot about race and hate in America. A lot of times we link hate to political groups. If you are Democratic, you hate all straight, white, rich Americans and if you are a Republican you hate all nonwhite, gay, anti-religious people, does that sound about right? Let’s look at those views for a second and see if they are a true representation of who we are.

We’ll use my daughters to see if the labeling appears to be valid or a myth. Take this photo for example and my very democratic girls. My husband and I are Independent, once we were moderately Republican. Both of our parents were Democrats. Now the spy in the picture happens to be my 21 year old. She’s engaged to a Republican. I didn’t see that coming to be honest, I knew that she would more than likely marry a white guy because she seemed to date only white guys, but the Republican thing surprised us! Her best friend is a member of the LGBT group.

The one on the phone hiding her face, is the would be black panther of the family.

She takes everything to heart and takes it very personal when things come down to race relations. The immigration thing really hit her the hardest because she was in earshot of a few calls I took from people doing random calls asking about thoughts on immigration. While my husband is Puerto Rican and served in the Army for 14 years, the immigration thing still wasn’t too far away from him. He was legal, but he was still Latin. My daughter felt like if America had a problem with one Spanish person, America had a problem with all Spanish people. So it really was a task explaining that most of us just wanted people to immigrate the right way, because doing it the right way allowed proper vetting. I explained in the grocery lane! I was like how would you feel if all those people at the end of the lane rushed in front of us? She was able to see that maybe it wasn’t fair to those waiting after all! Anyway! It wasn’t a surprise that her boyfriend would turn out to be black, but it was a surprise when he turned out to be Republican.

Now it comes down to this little lady! She’s her own woman. She’s the KPOP You-tuber that hates anything to do with politics, and race relations. She likes to show girls how to be stronger in relationship on her YouTube channel. She doesn’t allow me to help her which shows she will be just like her sisters , a woman with her own mind.

In other words, if you are worried about the state of America today, look inside your house for clues. Make sure you are raising children to be the best that they can be, and that you are not pushing your biases onto your children. I talk a lot of crap here and there, but at the end of the day, I try to make sure my children understand that people are just people.