Summer School My Way

My children can’t go to summer school, so I will bring it to them this year. It appears that both of my children have inherited my husband’s disdain for history. I happen to love history, life science, social science, and even managed to take extra classes in those areas in college. So, it is safe to say we will start today with a lesson on how it all started.

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This morning we will start off talking about Pangaea, Continental Drift theory, Southern/Northern Hemisphere and how we all started. If you are wondering how and why we decided that our children needed this lesson, it is because one of our lovely children thought California was in Texas. It really was a wtf moment. We have helped with history homework in the past, but for some reason that lack of knowledge never came to surface.

After we made it to the store, my husband politely asked me if I would teach our children this summer exclusively over the subjects they seem to be low in, and of course, I was delighted. This morning I will work on my lesson plan, and try to help the girls better understand the world as we know it. I knew those classes would matter one day!

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I have science and history covered. However, I need help with drama. Both girls are in theater and both are on the fence about their drama classes. I would like to do something for them to help them gain more confidence in reading plays and memorizing them. Does anyone know of a good method for studying drama?

The Dangers Of Keeping A Child In A Volatile Situation

Often times we divorce our spouses if the situation becomes too volatile. However, how many of us move our children away from bullying situations when they become volatile? As a mother of a child who suffered from extreme bullying, I would warn you about keeping that child in the same school. Right after my daughter’s attack we moved her away from the school, but when she started middle school the next school year the girls all filtered into that school. The counselors at the school were a complete joke. They told me that my daughter was no longer getting bothered and that they even called the children into the office to see if anyone was talking to her.

One morning I watched Ariana from the corner of my eye silently cry as we drove her to school. Something just told me to not go home so I waited. After a few minutes I drove around and then I found her hiding in between two buildings with her books pressed up against her chest. She was in a tight spot crying and scared to move. I got her attention and told her to come here. She walked to the car with tears still running down her cheek and talked about being sorry. She said she just couldn’t face anyone it was too much. I nodded and told her to get back into the car and we drove around the school and then I enrolled her out. I enrolled her in a private school a few miles down the street. She was loved at the school and did really well. She was a favorite in her French class and was well liked by many of her teachers, but there was the issue of interacting with children that still needed to be dealt with.

We still lived in Garland, so running into those children was an issue. Every time we thought we were doing better an encounter with one of them would send her crashing once more. Soon her Freshman year of high school was calling. She wanted to go to her home high school which meant she would be around those girls again. I wasn’t for it, but I finally decided if she felt ready, I would let her try once more. She was scared out of her mind her first day of school. She had started second guessing the idea of going to the high school, but she wanted to try it out.

She came home that day with this corky smile on her face. She had discovered she was a magnet for boys. She also said one of the girls that used to bully her, came up and said hi. She talked about being blown away and she didn’t know how to take it at first. In the common weeks she would talk to numerous people and even stand up to bullying against others, she was no longer the target. She was still known as the one who was attacked, but it wasn’t something that the children often talked about. She didn’t get invited anywhere so her nights were pretty much always lonely. She was still having a really hard time making friends, so we all decided that perhaps we just needed a new beginning.

We moved two maybe three hours away from that area. She was finally able to do things like go to games with people, go to eateries, and even to the movies. Ariana was able to have a life because we got her out of that broken environment. You see bullying is very mental and I think keeping the children in the environment hurts them more than we know. We still deal with social interaction issues, but she’s no longer constantly by herself. We have to make sure our children aren’t isolating. In many of the incidents with bullied children turning to violence or committing suicide they often isolate and target certain children. We have to make sure that we are doing all we can to repair the damage that has been done by the bullying. As parents, we can’t take the position that it will make them stronger to make them stay.

In Ariana’s medical record it had chest contusion, aggravated assault, leg injury, but it never had a broken spirit. We were ready for the physical stuff, but it was the mental stuff that nearly shattered my daughter into pieces. Talk about it with your children and truly ask how they are doing. Take notice of behaviors that could be problematic and above all else, tell them you love them.

Do You Know What Your Children Do When You Aren’t Around?

My daughter and her friend went to a movie over the weekend. I like to snoop around and found this. She and her friend are hanging out in the theater playing cops and robbers! It’s safe to say no more movies will be in her near future. At least she was honest, I would have denied it! Because she can hardly been recognized, but we know our children. Thanks to Instagram for being the kid police. We are talking about this little one!

Another Episode of Momville

Yesterday my daughter came in with another script from her theater class. She has loved theater for a long time and I really think it has helped her work through some of her issues. However, she still gets the occasional blues in regards to being social. She talks about not fitting in and hating the fact that nobody wants to do anything with her. In her mind she’s ugly and stupid because of her ADHD. We can tell her a million times that that isn’t the case and that she’s wonderful, but she just doesn’t see it.

Anyway, back to Tuesday. As her teacher was handing out scripts, she also assigned parts for the kids to read and Ariana’s partner decided he would publicly voice his discomfort in being paired with my daughter. So, after she came home and put her bag on the table, she walked into the computer room. I asked about her school day and that’s when she told me about the little creep who pretty much stated he wouldn’t work with her.

I don’t know if I handled the situation right, but I told her not to worry and informed her that I would help her learn both lines. I know nothing about theater. I stayed away from it, but I read lines with her last night. I played the part of the guy and she mostly corrected me, because I sucked! However, she sounded great and we are going to do it again tonight. I guess my question is, should I be making her learn both lines? I mean, I just don’t want her to get a bad grade if he doesn’t want to learn his part. What do you do in this situation? Can she even benefit from learning both lines?

Raising Women In Today’s America

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As many of you know I have three daughters. Here’s two at the ballet trying hard to not be noticed. Didn’t want to risk their black/Puerto Rican cards! According to them, the ballet wasn’t a black/Puerto Rican thing. Whatever that means!

We talk a lot about race and hate in America. A lot of times we link hate to political groups. If you are Democratic, you hate all straight, white, rich Americans and if you are a Republican you hate all nonwhite, gay, anti-religious people, does that sound about right? Let’s look at those views for a second and see if they are a true representation of who we are.

We’ll use my daughters to see if the labeling appears to be valid or a myth. Take this photo for example and my very democratic girls. My husband and I are Independent, once we were moderately Republican. Both of our parents were Democrats. Now the spy in the picture happens to be my 21 year old. She’s engaged to a Republican. I didn’t see that coming to be honest, I knew that she would more than likely marry a white guy because she seemed to date only white guys, but the Republican thing surprised us! Her best friend is a member of the LGBT group.

The one on the phone hiding her face, is the would be black panther of the family.

She takes everything to heart and takes it very personal when things come down to race relations. The immigration thing really hit her the hardest because she was in earshot of a few calls I took from people doing random calls asking about thoughts on immigration. While my husband is Puerto Rican and served in the Army for 14 years, the immigration thing still wasn’t too far away from him. He was legal, but he was still Latin. My daughter felt like if America had a problem with one Spanish person, America had a problem with all Spanish people. So it really was a task explaining that most of us just wanted people to immigrate the right way, because doing it the right way allowed proper vetting. I explained in the grocery lane! I was like how would you feel if all those people at the end of the lane rushed in front of us? She was able to see that maybe it wasn’t fair to those waiting after all! Anyway! It wasn’t a surprise that her boyfriend would turn out to be black, but it was a surprise when he turned out to be Republican.

Now it comes down to this little lady! She’s her own woman. She’s the KPOP You-tuber that hates anything to do with politics, and race relations. She likes to show girls how to be stronger in relationship on her YouTube channel. She doesn’t allow me to help her which shows she will be just like her sisters , a woman with her own mind.

In other words, if you are worried about the state of America today, look inside your house for clues. Make sure you are raising children to be the best that they can be, and that you are not pushing your biases onto your children. I talk a lot of crap here and there, but at the end of the day, I try to make sure my children understand that people are just people.

A Conversation About Being Happy With My 13 Yr Old

I’ve come to the conclusion that our children feel like that must be happy 100 percent of the time. Recently, my daughter told me she felt unhappy and that she couldn’t put her finger on the reason. I explained that it’s normal to be unhappy at times and that it would be quite abnormal to be happy all the time. She looked at me as if I had said something Greek.

I went on to explain that we all feel unhappy at times, but it’s what we do with those feelings that predict the outcome of that day. I told her about the family I had to question with their dying child in the room. Happiness will be hard to find for a long time due to the loss of their child. She looked and said yeah you’re right. She revealed that she was unhappy because she felt like none of the guys she liked ever liked her back.

After watching the sorrow in her eyes, I insisted that she take out a list and write everyone’s name down for future reference. She looked at me and smiled. I then informed her it was the Brown curse to be a little different in middle school but to turn into a beautiful butterfly in high school, revealing that it happened to me and both of her sisters. In that moment my daughter was happy not for some nice object that I presented her with, but that I took the time to help her find a solution to her problem.

Listen to your children!

Don’t forget to get my book! It’s free for two days!

KPOP Inspired

I wanted to show how my daughter’s dramas are doing. It’s hard to believe she turned 13 last month and she’s already writing dramas. When I was her age I was playing in the woods with my relatives. If memory has it right, we were playing wizards. We would grab onto sticks and belts and play like we were magical creatures. It often resulted in cut lips, missing teeth, but it was fun! 

This is part one.

This is Two

This is four.

If you like BTS, Blackpink or other KPOP groups, I think you will like her story. 

On another note, I get a stank faces when people find out that my daughter likes KPOP, but here’s the thing! People of all races and nationalities can enjoy a wide range of things. Do not limit yourself by placing yourself into a box. Enjoy life while you can because the ability to enjoy it might not always be there.