children – Shellzonit

Birthday From Hell Because $100 Bucks Was Too Little

It is a little after three in the morning, and I am still reeling from my daughter’s birthday. In my family, we have a tradition. Every birthday person gets a certain amount of money and their special day. However, after 12 AM hits, all bets are off.

Photo by Vladislav Reshetnyak on Pexels.com

Well, since COVID-19 happened, we had to cut back on somethings. This year we put in place a $100 maximum per birthday. Last month was the 15-year old’s birthday, and she lost 50 of her 100 at the mall. A typical birthday is celebrated all day until midnight. Every single person in the family watches the shows that are picked by the birthday girl or boy. It can be hell day for the ones of us who hate anime, or horror shows because you can bet one of those two will be on the menu. However, most of the time the birthday person picks a meal that the entire family likes which makes up for the horrible shows!!!!

The entire week including on the 27th, my daughter was adamant about not wanting 100 bucks because she said it wouldn’t buy anything. She wanted $200 and insisted that we fork over $200 or nothing at all. I informed her; that she was headed for a rude awakening, but she insisted that she would not be part of any celebrations if we gave her 100.

So, yesterday came, and I didn’t give her anything. She woke up, and it pretty much went downhill from there. She didn’t want to watch anything; she wanted to argue the entire time. I went into my room and shut the door. Hours later, she was ready to be civil, she was happy to finish her day off with cake and dinner.

I told my husband that I wasn’t sure about not giving her the money but that she needed to understand the meaning of gratefulness. I explained to her that there is a country full of people who cannot even get a pack of chicken for dinner, but she had the nerve to stick her nose up at $100 bucks because it wasn’t enough. Part of me feels bad about not giving it to her, but the other part feels like she got the message. Afterward, when she asked if maybe we would think about giving it to her later, it looked like she understood that it was a blessing instead of a big fat nothing. It was a hard day, but I think it a lesson in humility was needed. People do what they can , and it is a blessing no matter the gift.

12/29/2020

shellzonitLeave a comment

Why I said No to having a baby at 43

You often hear about women deciding to have babies in their forties. I’ve never really held a position on it because I respect the fact that it isn’t my body. Some months ago, my husband and I started talking about the idea of adding another addition to our family. It sounded good in theory until he proceeded to make appointments.

About two months ago, my husband came home with this goofy look on his face and was smiling ear to ear. I asked him what was so exciting, and he blurted out that he had just finished talking to his doctor about getting his vasectomy reversed. I’m pretty sure the color drained out of my face because, at that point, extreme nausea started to set in.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

We had talked about the subject in the past, but I thought all we were doing was talking. It’s like saying, if I had a million dollars, I would buy a house in Ireland. I do not have a million dollars, so the move would never move out of the fantasy stage. After a few minutes of watching him beam from ear to ear, I politely smiled and tried to sound excited. As the days went by, I started to get increasingly uncomfortable. I started looking at our 14 yr old, 18 yr old, and 22-year-old daughters. I then started thinking about how each pregnancy affected my health.

On the morning of his appointment, I remember feeling a near panic as he got in the car and drove off for his doctor’s appointment. I opted to stay behind because I didn’t want to see the doctor see the discomfort on my face.

About a good solid hour later, my husband arrived back home. He was upset because the clinic didn’t want to let the VA pay for his reversal. The clinic intended to bill him on his job’s insurance, while the VA would have made the procedure free. I felt a little relieved until after he got off the phone with the VA a few moments later. The VA clinic promised they would take care of the confusion with Scott and White.

A few days later, the appointment was back on. The night before the second appointment, I made up my mind; it was time to come clean about my feelings regarding having another baby. I explained that we had three great children, and I didn’t like being pregnant. I hated the idea of having another baby at 43, and I went a little deeper into detail and expressed the main reason I didn’t want to give up my current position as Sexual Goddess # 1 to being a new mom all over again.

Part of me felt a bit guilty because sex was a big reason I didn’t want to have baby number 4. Currently, we can have sex whenever we want, multiple times a month or even a week if we feel like it, but a new baby puts restraints on that. I know my body, I know my needs, and at this age, I am not looking to start over again with the birthing process.

I thought he was going to be hurt by my confession, but after I explained it, he saw my point. He called off the appointment, and I can now look at pregnant people once again without feeling an urge to run for the nearest exit.

11/16/2020

shellzonitLeave a comment

Remote Learning For Parents

So, the girls and I have officially started remote learning this year. I like to include myself in the equation because we are in it together. As the year is just beginning, I am quickly learning my place. My children have even asked if I would allow them to return to school. I am like the Hulk, at least that is what they told my husband.

I will admit, I had a little freak out session when one of my daughters picked up her cell phone and proceeded to call her friend, who was also a remote learner. I just logged on the T Mobile site and politely informed her that I was about to turn her phone off.

After her outrage wore off, she was able to once again focus on her work. I learned a valuable lesson towards the end of last year. I learned to stay in the room with the girls as they completed their assignments. I turned a gaming room into their classroom. While they are working on their assignments, I can be working on my articles or something else.

I hope you guys are finding the right fit for your remote learning experience.