Still Keeping My Routine Afloat.

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Okay, so I just finished my fourth workout. Today my effort number was 168. I’m still not where I used to be, but I’m on the road to getting there.

Prior to all the staying in and all this other junk I used to be able to walk maybe 2 miles a day. Now I’m battling to make one mile. I never thought I would get this out of shape, I guess for me the breaking point was the pain in my knees. I love going outdoors, and I love being able to do other things. So, the pounds have to come off.

I also broke down and bought a scale, I didn’t want to do it, but I felt like I was hiding by not doing it. My weight wasn’t as bad as I thought it was, but it was bad.

Right now, I’m like halfway passed out on my sofa talking this into the phone instead of actually getting on the computer and writing it out. But on another level walking on the treadmill seems to be the only thing that makes my knee feel better. So, that’s the reason why I’m sticking with this routine because my knees have gotten so bad, guys.

So, if we are talking goals, I still don’t have a set goal for how much weight I want to lose. I mean, I have these Star Wars pajama bottoms that I love, and I haven’t been able to get into them without my butt sticking out.

So I’m thinking when I can come comfortably wear my Star Wars pajama bottoms without having booty sticking out at the top, I should be fine. Well, there is another reason I want the weight to come off, but that’s too sexy for you. 😆

Thanks for following.

Why I said No to having a baby at 43

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You often hear about women deciding to have babies in their forties. I’ve never really held a position on it because I respect the fact that it isn’t my body. Some months ago, my husband and I started talking about the idea of adding another addition to our family. It sounded good in theory until he proceeded to make appointments.

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About two months ago, my husband came home with this goofy look on his face and was smiling ear to ear. I asked him what was so exciting, and he blurted out that he had just finished talking to his doctor about getting his vasectomy reversed. I’m pretty sure the color drained out of my face because, at that point, extreme nausea started to set in.

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We had talked about the subject in the past, but I thought all we were doing was talking. It’s like saying, if I had a million dollars, I would buy a house in Ireland. I do not have a million dollars, so the move would never move out of the fantasy stage. After a few minutes of watching him beam from ear to ear, I politely smiled and tried to sound excited. As the days went by, I started to get increasingly uncomfortable. I started looking at our 14 yr old, 18 yr old, and 22-year-old daughters. I then started thinking about how each pregnancy affected my health.

On the morning of his appointment, I remember feeling a near panic as he got in the car and drove off for his doctor’s appointment. I opted to stay behind because I didn’t want to see the doctor see the discomfort on my face.

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About a good solid hour later, my husband arrived back home. He was upset because the clinic didn’t want to let the VA pay for his reversal. The clinic intended to bill him on his job’s insurance, while the VA would have made the procedure free. I felt a little relieved until after he got off the phone with the VA a few moments later. The VA clinic promised they would take care of the confusion with Scott and White.

A few days later, the appointment was back on. The night before the second appointment, I made up my mind; it was time to come clean about my feelings regarding having another baby. I explained that we had three great children, and I didn’t like being pregnant. I hated the idea of having another baby at 43, and I went a little deeper into detail and expressed the main reason I didn’t want to give up my current position as Sexual Goddess # 1 to being a new mom all over again.

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Part of me felt a bit guilty because sex was a big reason I didn’t want to have baby number 4. Currently, we can have sex whenever we want, multiple times a month or even a week if we feel like it, but a new baby puts restraints on that. I know my body, I know my needs, and at this age, I am not looking to start over again with the birthing process.

I thought he was going to be hurt by my confession, but after I explained it, he saw my point. He called off the appointment, and I can now look at pregnant people once again without feeling an urge to run for the nearest exit.

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Update: My Husband’s VA Appointment

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I’m officially back off of my hiatus. So, a quick recap of things that have been going on since I’ve been MIA. My husband had his c&p appointment for sleep apnea yesterday. This claim was literally filed around January 31st.

We got the appointment that a C&P have been scheduled two days ago. It’s possible it could have been 3 days ago, but the point was we had two days to pretty much plan everything around going to a c&p exam, which was about 50 miles away.

So, we go all the way out to Round Rock and the appointment doesn’t even last 10 minutes,Y’all. I kid you not, we drove all the way to Round Rock for some nurse practitioner that asked my husband maybe six questions.

These are the situations that our vets are in when it comes to exams scheduled by the VA. Can you tell me about any exam you’ve ever been to that doesn’t even last 10 minutes?

Luckily, I wrote a whole page prior to us arriving at the clinic so at least he was able to give that to the nurse practitioner. She wouldn’t let me in, so my notes were able to do the talking.

My husband is currently at 90% disability for the VA and he was diagnosed with sleep apnea last month. My husband isn’t overweight and doesn’t suffer from allergies or sinus anything like that. He had a back surgery in 2009 that basically ended up messing up a lot of his nerves and stuff. Not only did it mess up his nerves, but it also managed to mess up the top part of his neck.

After doing a lot of research, I found out that neck problems are one of the reasons veterans develop sleep apnea. Another research found sleep apnea is a direct correlation with depression. My husband suffers from major depression. We’ve been pretty much fighting for months over his retroactive pay. It’s frustrating because we’re still waiting on a settlement that was granted all the way back in August and the only thing we keep hearing is well it’s a lot of entitlement coming from years ago.

Okay, but it’s been seven months, with VA messing up on appointments and not knowing what’s going on with his case. At this rate I don’t really trust anyting Veteran Affairs tells people, I feel like they employ a lot of dishonest examiners to do appointments.

The clinic we went to yesterday was a LHI clinic. If you’ve never been to one of these LHI appointments, let me fill you in on what happens. The examiners do not listen to the soldiers, they do not seem to be qualified in many of the illnesses that the soldiers suffer from.

We have yet to see an actual service-connected issue gain service connection from a LHI clinic. All service connection disorders are coming from the VA examiners. LHI are contracted out by the VA to conduct exams. It looks like they are contracted to interfere with veterans getting fair decisions. Often times their decisions are overturned in court. I know no other organization that receives as many lawsuits as the VA and still manages to stay afloat.

Oh well.

Trying To Become Her: The Virtuous Woman

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Many of you know me to be impatient, opinionated, very cautious, and perhaps a little overbearing at times. These are things that I struggle with on a daily basis. They are also things and I’m currently praying about pretty much on a daily basis.

I think back to the scriptures which often point out that Jesus doesn’t expect us to be perfect. He wants to see us continually trying to overcome our worldly side and helps others on their journey. People mature into different levels of Christianity. Some of us are still drinking milk, while others are eating whole chickens by now. In my mind I am now at the stage where I’m truly trying to be the Virtuous Woman found in Proverbs chapter 31.

The Virtuous Woman is a woman that does it all. She knows how to take care of her family, how to make wise financial decisions, and how to be a pillar for her community.

I think one of my biggest obstacles, in my opinion, is figuring out how she was able to organize everything. If you look at scripture The Virtuous Woman was organized in order to do all the things that she did throughout the day, throughout the week, and even with preparations for future events. I lack organization. In many ways I feel like the lack of organization creates chaos pockets within my household, and that’s one of the things I want to try to work on.

Of course I know I still need to work on my patience, judging, and my temper. Yet, part of me wonders if better organizational skills might help to eliminate the chance for impatient and temper flares. I’m talking about scheduling a healthy sleep schedule, dinner time, cleaning time and family bonding time. Currently we go to sleep anywhere from midnight to 2 a.m. and we eat dinner after 7 on most nights.

Simply put, I think we are all dealing with some sort of sleep deprivation. Even after we fall to sleep we awaken a couple hours later which kills us the morning after. It makes maneuvering through the rest of the day extremely difficult. So, planning is on the menu today. I think a better plan will give birth to a better us.