Trying To Become Her: The Virtuous Woman

Many of you know me to be impatient, opinionated, very cautious, and perhaps a little overbearing at times. These are things that I struggle with on a daily basis. They are also things and I’m currently praying about pretty much on a daily basis.

I think back to the scriptures which often point out that Jesus doesn’t expect us to be perfect. He wants to see us continually trying to overcome our worldly side and helps others on their journey. People mature into different levels of Christianity. Some of us are still drinking milk, while others are eating whole chickens by now. In my mind I am now at the stage where I’m truly trying to be the Virtuous Woman found in Proverbs chapter 31.

The Virtuous Woman is a woman that does it all. She knows how to take care of her family, how to make wise financial decisions, and how to be a pillar for her community.

I think one of my biggest obstacles, in my opinion, is figuring out how she was able to organize everything. If you look at scripture The Virtuous Woman was organized in order to do all the things that she did throughout the day, throughout the week, and even with preparations for future events. I lack organization. In many ways I feel like the lack of organization creates chaos pockets within my household, and that’s one of the things I want to try to work on.

Of course I know I still need to work on my patience, judging, and my temper. Yet, part of me wonders if better organizational skills might help to eliminate the chance for impatient and temper flares. I’m talking about scheduling a healthy sleep schedule, dinner time, cleaning time and family bonding time. Currently we go to sleep anywhere from midnight to 2 a.m. and we eat dinner after 7 on most nights.

Simply put, I think we are all dealing with some sort of sleep deprivation. Even after we fall to sleep we awaken a couple hours later which kills us the morning after. It makes maneuvering through the rest of the day extremely difficult. So, planning is on the menu today. I think a better plan will give birth to a better us.

Stumbling On Hidden Truths : Meghan And Harry

Welcome to my blog once again and today we’re going to talk about my girl: Meghan markle AKA Duchess of our Hearts!

Love!!

As many of you have probably found out by now Meghan Markle and her husband Prince Harry have decided take a few inches back from the royal lifestyle. If you have followed the monarchy like I have, then you know Queen Elizabeth II has a lineage of relationships built on love.

From Queen Victoria I to Queen Elizabeth II love has been a common theme in this family. If you are wondering how or why Queen Elizabeth II gave approval for Meghan markle and Prince Harry to live outside of the throne look no further then her father’s brother who was once King of England.

Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle

It should come as no surprise that Prince Harry is committed to that same kind of unyielding love when it comes to his wife and child. I think people forget the Prince Harry it’s not directly in line for the throne. Since Prince William has two small sons it really takes a lot of the pressure off of Harry and lets him focus more on his lifestyle.

There are people who are very upset about the couple’s wish to move outside of tradition. I support the Queens opinion on the situation because everybody have a light. Perhaps Prince Harry and Meghan’s light will be better shown outside of the UK.

In my opinion, both Meghan and Harry are doing what’s necessary to raise her son in a therapeutic environment. I often wonder about our president’s children and how they fair. We watch the children of our presidents mature whole terms, sometimes up to 8 years.

Do we even know of their descendants today?

In case of royal families their children never seem to get out of the spotlight, imagine how damning that can be if the spotlight seems to be frequently jaded? For a lot of people, I think the UK seems like it was a Utopia for minorities, if you are not from the UK. According to the history books slavery ended in the European countries before it ever ended in the United States. We even had black people who went to live abroad to get away from hate crimes here at home.

I think the treatment that Meghan Markle has received has been somewhat shocking for Americans due to our perceptions on the UK. The media from the onslaught of Megan’s pregnancy down to probably the last 24 hours has been nothing but critical of Meghan Markle and Harry. I know people don’t want to use the term bullying because bullying is such a ugly word, but the media has been vicious. I’ve not seen the type of treatment The Duchess and the Duke of Sussex encountered passed on any other member of the Royal family.

Ironically, this was the family who could survive such a feat due to their strong history of listening to their hearts. In a way, we are just watching history repeat itself! Love gives us the courage to move when others would have been immobilized in sorrow.

Trumpism Comes Into View

I consider myself to be an independent minded person. I am not a Republican, and I am not a Democrat. I am by all means an Independent. I believe that political candidates should be judged independently. Most of all, I do not gives passes when it comes to life and death situations.

With all of this, the idea a voting to enhance a specific party sounds horrendous to me. I feel like each individual has to be weighed and considered for what they stand for. Over the past 3 years I have been on the ropes in regards to voting in the 2020 election. While, I respect some of the things President Trump has accomplished in office. I can’t overlook the severity of some of the issues that continually keep popping up.

Warmonger

If you know me, you know that I love history. I feel like history teaches us how to become better citizens and how to prepare for the future. We learn from the mistakes of leaders before us and also from the successes.

This week there’s been a lot of talk about the impeachment, the hit job on an Iranian General Qassim Soleimani and the term patriot. Here’s the tricky part, Trump has done great things with employment, great things with the criminal justice system, and he’s helped to improve veterans affairs. However, the shady dealings are sooo shady when it comes to Trump. Living under Trump’s presidency is like living with an unruly teenager. Just when you think things can’t get worse, they do.

Trump doesn’t want to be the leader he was voted in office to be. He wants to lead for one group without trying to run the entire country. By not talking to BOTH the Republicans and Democrats he chose to ignore half of the country by shutting out their voices. If America goes into another war, it is important for all sides to agree on the stage. We need space, allies and direction. Right now Iraq is asking us to leave as well as other nations. We are locking ourselves out of the Middle East by having him as a leader and perhaps changing our part in history as being the good guys.

Will The Real Patriots Stand Up?

Lastly, if you try to blast me with being unpatriotic, I have this to say. I do not support someone who would have been a Benedict Arnold in the Revolutionary War. Our ancestors would be rolling around in their graves right now because they know he plotted with foreign countries to interrupt our voting process. People need to do some soul searching when in comes to our future.

Trump’s Second Term Could Give Birth To Less SSI For Many

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An article came out in Forbes on 8/23/2019 detailing how Republicans aim to get Trump to cut Social Security and Medicare. We have known for a while that these programs have been on the brink and if Trump gets a second term we might see some real movement in revamping them system.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/teresaghilarducci/2019/08/23/trumps-second-term-plan-for-social-security-starve-the-beast/#4bfbb55f3794

Many people use Social Security and for a large percentage of people, it is their main source of income. Due to our national debt nearing 21 trillion dollars the government will have to take drastic measures to balance the books. At this point the Republican Senators are hinting at a much needed overhaul.

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We know that the system is currently flawed. In prior articles, I wrote about people who used the Social Security system as a way to scam benefits. The problem comes into play when an entire country gets caught up in a whirlpool of drama because some people are cheating the system. I would caution leaders to be thoughtful when dealing with this situation. Perhaps, the overhaul is needed in the screening of people trying to apply for services.

I do not want to see our elderly people thrown to the wolves over circumstances that they cannot control. I would like to see tougher guidelines for parents placing their children on SSI and the use of preschools if the children are able to attend them. Sadly, I have seen people get diagnoses for their children as young as 5 years old. I worked a case involving a mother who had all three of her children diagnosed and was currently awaiting her diagnoses. When I questioned her about working, she stated that she wanted to take care of her children. Ironically enough, she continued to leave them with other people.

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When I worked in mental health, I saw these situations all the time. People would come in trying to perfect mental illness because their loved ones told them that hospitalizations were the way to go. We have to break this cycle. Eventually they would learn just enough information to get their benefits. After three or four stays at a mental health hospital you learn all you need to know about the signs and symptoms of mental illness. It truly is sad that the scammers are mixed in with the people who really need the services. In the end it just overburdens the system and forces unwanted results on those who really need services.

I am sure we will hear more on this story in the near future. I have mixed emotions about slashing benefits that help the elderly. However, I am tired of seeing people take advantage of loopholes. Yet, I cannot help but wonder how much this current administration has helped to add to our debt situation and if slashing these programs will stop the bleed.

Learning How To Add The Yes You Can Factor!

Sometimes it’s easy to get carried away with our definition of attainable. Perhaps, we were never told yes you can while growing up, so we do not know how to be supportive when our children need us to give those affirmations. To be honest, some of us might not even understand what it means to live in a world that showcases things as being attainable. So, let this be the theme of today.

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Take it from Thomas Edison and perhaps my favorite quote of all times. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Do not let a problem keep you down because there’s always another day. Earlier this week we talked about my car breaking down and how scary that whole situation was. There were times that I wanted to cry, yell, or even call the dealership and curse them out. However, my goal was to get home, so keeping a positive outlook was vital.

I have tried to pass that mindset to my children. It isn’t about how horrible things are, but it’s about how we can make them better. If we see our goals as attainable we will continue to walk towards them. I go back to the day I was in the living room with my mother. I was around the age of 9 and was mesmerized by anything with mummies in it. I wanted to be an archeologist and that is exactly what I told her! She looked at me and informed me that black people weren’t those things and to stop talking nonsense.

I wish I knew then the things I know now. Color does not define what we can and can’t do. It is the mindset giving birth to the idea of attainability. I can achieve this goal if I work for it, I will achieve this goal because I will work hard to achieve it. At lease that is the message I give my children. Today, I am happy to announce that my daughter has transitioned into actively working towards her goal in becoming a foodie.

What the makings of a dream come true below.

She’s even managed to get 2 subscribers! They are her friends, but they still count! Oh wait let me add one more to the mix! I forgot to subscribe.

How Are You Rating Your Quality Time

Families are made up of so many different things. With each family comes a set of unique illustrations that paint that family’s life from within. Trauma seems to add new details and sections to the dynamics which can ultimately alter how families are able to coexist among each other. It is at the end of the school year, and we have come to the conclusion that we are still dealing with the tremors of trauma from five years ago.

If the event would have been an earthquake, you would have expected to see small tremors that popped up some years ago. However, it seems as though the tremors are harmonic in nature and ever reaching. We were finally able to have a real heart to heart with our 13 year old. Yes, I said the 13 year old. She was 8 when her sister was attacked and my oldest was 16. In many ways we focused so much and so hard on the recovery process for one child that we nearly lost the other two.

My eldest has been living in Florida for nearly six months now. It makes me sad to write this because I don’t know how much I missed when it comes to being there for the 13 year old. For the past five years while I was trying to save one daughter, I was slowly letting the other two drift away. After having a real heart to heart, my baby finally opened up and told me how she felt.

She informed me that there were nights that she would just lay in her room crying because she felt like we didn’t see her. No parent ever wants to hear that, you do not want to hear that you were a shit parent. I think I did what my parents did in many ways. I tried to bring in things to make up for not being there. We had the season tickets to Six Flags, great hiking adventures, and even trips to craters. We were really trying to meet that quality time quota that so many of us play towards.

Now, we are looking at quality time in a much different way. It’s about those trips to markets that result in instant bright face appreciation as well as those moments of tenderness because some boy has broken her heart. It’s about telling her how much we love her each and every night and telling her no matter the outcome, she will overcome. In my mind, I still see her as

this little one. This picture was taken on some random day at the park. We decided to ditch the normal routine after school and have a play date. Don’t make the mistake that we made and think that quality time has to be something like below.

Hiking in the mountains.

Going to ballet.

Mining in dormant volcanoes.

It can be anything as simple as just watching your kids walk ahead of you at the park. If you are anything like my family, you are still trying to work out the kinks. We are moving in a better direction, but that direction now comes with open eyes. It’s not always easy after you take off the rose colored glasses, but it’s something that you can’t ignore. Don’t miss those moments.