Chair Raiders Anonymous

Get to know the new section on Shellzonit.com called Chair Raiders Anonymous. The inspiration came from watching Hulu and seeing the random liquor adds pop up.

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We thought it would be a great idea to try some of the alcoholic beverages and rate them. In this category we will rate anything from games, shows. alcoholic beverages, to movies in the theater. This will only be a weekly rating with results coming out at the start of a new week.

We will start things off with Kraken Black Spiced Rum. The commercial shows Tom Payne from The Walking Dead sitting at a bar looking like a wet snack! Okay, I couldn’t help it, but with wet hair flowing down into his face he starts to unleash this story which turns out to be about the Kraken. In the beginning of the commercial we thought it was a preview of a new movie then it becomes clear that Mr. Payne is talking about rum.

The Kraken Black Spiced Rum comes in a cool looking bottle that looks like something out of a pirate’s movie. The rum is smooth and the taste of spice isn’t overwhelming. To be honest, it is one of the best spiced rums I have tasted in a long time. I normally only drink coconut rum. My husband who can’t drink liquor most of the time was able to drink the Kraken without incident. Normally he gags when it comes to liquor.

For those of you who have a hard time consuming rum, try mixing your rum with coke. If you get a chance to watch the commercials that stream on Hulu you will see a menu down at the bottom of the screen which will allow you to learn a few drinks with the Kraken. So, all in all, I would give the Kraken a thumps up! It is something that I look forward to buying again and we finished it in our first week. Let me know if you have any other drinks you would like us to try!

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Schools Are Still Not Getting The Point.

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Our daughter came home last night and told us about a female student who was clearly showing signs of distress. My husband and I both informed her that she needed to talk to her school counselor about the student in question. After we picked her up today from school, we asked her if she talked to the counselor and her reply with unfortunate.

“Mom, I really don’ t think they care. When I talked to the counselor, she didn’t really seem to want to hear it.”

We both stated that she had done her job and now it was time for the school to do their job and follow up with the report. Right now children are looking and they are paying attention, more than ever. If you work in a school and see problematic behavior, you must act. If you think your role isn’t important, think again. You are a lifeline, a lifeguard and even the it factor in some of the children’s lives.

About four year ago, I got the chance to go to a conference and see Kevin Hines as one of the main speakers. It was an eye opening experience in how we should all be dealing with people who show signs of distress. You don’t wait, you check it out.

Did The Government Help To Create A New Breed Of Troubled Kids?

Why didn’t we have school shootings and massive bullying when we were younger? It is mainly because of one word and it begins with the letter P and ends with the letter S. PARENTS! We talk about guns and mental health a lot in this country. However, I haven’t heard people talking about the lack of discipline in our country because of fear. When we allowed the government to come into our houses and take on the position as the silent parent, we opened the door for disruption.

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Some of you might find it ironic as hell that I am taking this position, but there’s a reason behind it. When I was in the academy for investigator training, one of the first things we learned was that the majority of CPS cases would be fictitious. I didn’t want to believe it because surely 85 percent of cases couldn’t really be just parents, trying to be parents. However, after I graduated the academy and cases started coming in, I soon learned the dark side of reporting.

While a handful of my cases were actual abuse, the majority of my cases were not abuse. Many of them were cases with teens or preteens who were out of control. Some of the children were so out of control that their parents could no longer afford to take care of them. In many ways, we have the government to thank for this epidemic. Parents are scared to parent because anything and everything can be used against them when it comes to reporting.

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We are talking about in some cases parents raising their voices, spanking, removing doors, and talking to children about their weight issues, these are some of the things that parents did to get CPS called on them which always resulted in Rule Outs. The calls would come from clinics, schools, family members, or people involved in custody fights.

A single mother was using a provider for her newborn and she didn’t feel like the doctor was really showing the level of concern that she needed, so she switched providers. The clinic called in a case on the new mom with a load of lies which were easily picked apart due to records. I have always and will always say CPS needs a new screening method. The current method does more harm than good. If you have a reporting system that lets retaliatory accusations flourish then you have a broken system.

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There needs to be some form of punishment for false accusations because there are too many false allegations that result in stagnated parenting. Good parents become fearful of future calls and stop reinforcing rules out of fear of future CPS interactions. This fear then spreads to family members and friends which later interrupts how the family is able to parent. Keep in mind in order to close cases investigators must contact references even if the case happens to be fictitious. Thus spreading fear of how and what parents can do to parent their children.

Enter in the wayward child that we see today. Parents cannot parent due to fear of the government and the government is not equipped to take on the full responsibility of parenting all the children they have helped corrupt. So people reach for medication or therapy when perhaps the only thing they needed in the first place was the ability to parent their children without the fear of the government.

Support Doesn’t Mean You Have To Agree

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I have been sitting on something for a while now. I wanted to share it with you, but I was afraid of how it would be taken. About a month ago my daughter came to me and said she was bisexual. It was a little surprising because she has liked guys forever. Guys are plastered all over her wall and on her phone. I asked her when did she start liking girls and she said maybe a month ago, then said months ago. I then asked well what did she mean when she said she liked girls and how did she know that she was bisexual. She then told me whenever she saw movies with girls kissing that those movies made her feel funny inside.

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I went on to ask what do you mean funny inside? She then stated that she found girls attractive. I informed her that just because she found girls pretty didn’t mean that she was bisexual. I told her I find a lot of women pretty, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with them. I asked her if she wanted to have sex with girls, and she frowned. So, of course by this time, I am paying close attention to the frown. Why was there a frown?

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So, then I asked her again, what makes you think that you are Bisexual? Keep in mind one of her best friends at the time was bisexual and the other was gay. She replied that she knew it just because and then stated a mouth full of other things that confused both she and I. I told her to just wait and give it some thought because what might seem like the thing to be today might not seem like the thing to be a week from now.

Well a few days ago she reported that she was back with her ex boyfriend and of course I asked about the bisexual thing that she had brought up about two or three weeks ago. She stated that she loves her boyfriend and that she isn’t bisexual after all. It got me thinking about the time I went out with a girl as a teenager. I am not sure why I did it, but I did. However, I was never forced to marry the idea of being gay or bisexual. I think sometimes we inadvertently force our children into being something that they might not be because we want to seem cool and supportive.

Perhaps, the best thing we can do is listen and give our guidance. It’s funny we give guidance when it comes to college, money, careers, but for some reason we try to shy away from talks about sexuality. If our children are going to commit to anything, they need to understand the full meaning of what they are making a commitment to. I can’t promise that she might not come back in two weeks wanting to date girls, but I can promise that she has a clearer understanding of what it means to be bisexual. “I see it all the time!” In my opinion is never a reason to do something. It only made me think that she was confused.

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I guess in the end I look at it this way. I am not arranging a marriage of any sort on my children, nor would I arrange an identity on them. If we talk about something and it is clear that this is who they want to be, then this is who they will be, but if I see confusion, it is my job to call it out. Right or wrong, I am mom.

Here We Go!!! First Morning Of School 2019/2020

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And we are off! Alison has to be at swim class in 42 minutes. Yes. I said it right, she is in swim class. I am really thankful I taught her how to swim about two years ago, but I am willing to bet they might have to go over a few things. She has a really demanding schedule for this year. Ariana is taking ROTC this year which is different. When we lived in Garland, the school wanted her to take ROTC for the Air Force, but she chickened out. She isn’t overly happy about ROTC, but it might help her with self discipline.

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As for me, I’m scared and excited all at once. I am scared because I need to be something I have never really been in the past. I have to be super structured in making sure they have their allotted time for homework. So, this is the plan, I will pick them up after school and bring them home. Last year Ally walked and it was super stressful because at times she would go over her friend’s house which would take away from homework time.

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This year we will come home station ourselves in the living room and put all cellphones in the table and have 1 hour of homework time or school depress time if you may. After I told them about the new rules, Alison whispered to Ariana that we were turning white! Whatever that means!!! As for mom, I signed up for Ubereats! I want to do something that allows me the freedom that I need when it comes with taking care of my mommy responsibilities. It’s 6:21 and a hear a coffee cup calling my name. So, have a great morning and I will see you later to let you know how the new rules work out.

Update!!! 7:08 So, we dropped Alison off and she isn’t really feeling the before 7 AM class! I hope she feels better as time goes by because the schedule isn’t changing. I felt a little bad for the reporter that tried to talk to her this morning. From the looks of it, Ally kind of pushed her away with her eyes. I saw her pull my daughter over only to see her look a little funny as Ally walked away in her leave me alone mood. Welcome to my world!

When The Internet Became One Big Neighborhood

When we think about community, we often think about the people in our neighborhood. We think about the closeness, likeness, and struggles we face together. We see the people down the street and place the neighbor label on them which makes us look a little longer if things appear out of place in their departure. We assign ownership to the places that are deemed precious near our houses which are often placed within our neighborhoods.

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Yesterday, for some of us, our neighborhoods grew a lot larger. We mentally adopted a teenager that was assaulted by a group of girls and something magical took place. It just takes a few positive voices and things can start turning. Yesterday while we all struggled to keep #JUSTICEFORJANISE trending something became crystal clear around the 5th hour. Nobody was giving up on finding this little girl.

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We were all picking up our internet torches and wading through the pool of concern. Tweets went out to Trump supporters, Obama supporters and many more people, and they did not fall flat. All hearts reacted! Soon the concern was trending all over the United States with concern flowing into other countries. While we weren’t able to grab the attention of those in office, we were able to grab attention to someone more important.

We were able to make our case to the people and the people formed an online haven of love. I’m in Texas, but it didn’t stop me from caring. Others were from other states, but it didn’t stop them from sharing. Brave friends like @D4MURE, @sharii41886239, @lissa_ajana and @kiologyz created the perfect search for their friend. While things might not be over for the young lady in the video, I do believe she will now find that she has a nation of support behind her. It just took a handful of friends with the courage of an Army with the intent of bringing their friend home.

Now the healing will begin and let’s hope yesterday isn’t forgotten because we stood as one big family with no concern over difference, just the connection of love. Love really is the key.

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While You Were Sleeping

President Trump, AOC, Senator Harris, Senator Booker, and many more, today started out with a frantic cry for help. You didn’t hear it, even though we the citizens called out your names loudly in our moments of despair. We witnessed yet another attack on another child and then there was silence from those who normally speak the loudest.

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Our children are being attacked one by one and nobody seems to hear us. While you were sleeping Janise Harris was attacked by a group of girls. She was beaten and taunted. As if that wasn’t enough her attackers then put her on the wrong bus not caring if she made it home or not. This story hits home for me because my daughter was attacked years ago and just like Janise, she too bent over to diminish the pain from the blows. I’m not sure if Janise has been to the ER but I recall when we took my child to the ER and saw the words assault written across the diagnoses page.

I recall feeling helpless and invisible much like Janise’s friends felt at the start of this morning until Twitter happened. You see, it would have been nice to hear from any of you to show that you could have taken a moment out of your day to just send one simple tweet about helping children who are bullied. Yet, you all had your campaigns to worry about while our children were worrying about living.

Is this the version of America you want to give us? Do you only want to talk about race related issues that divide this country? Today, I’ll have you know that we all worked together to try to find Janise. We were Republicans, Democrats and even us crazy Independents rolled up our sleeves and pressed on the Tweet button. Around 5 PM we were notified that Janise was found safe, but she will have a lot of trauma to deal with because of the attack. I just thought you should know what you missed while you were arguing.

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