“I heard a Fly buzz – when I died – The Stillness in the Room Was like the Stillness in the Air – Between the Heaves of Storm –
The Eyes around – had wrung them dry – And Breaths were gathering firm For that last Onset – when the King Be witnessed – in the Room –
I willed my Keepsakes – Signed away What portion of me be Assignable – and then it was There interposed a Fly –
With Blue – uncertain – stumbling Buzz – Between the light – and me – And then the Windows failed – and then I could not see to see -” I heard a Fly buzz – when I died –
The Stillness in the Room Was like the Stillness in the Air – Between the Heaves of Storm –
The Eyes around – had wrung them dry – And Breaths were gathering firm
For that last Onset – when the King Be witnessed – in the Room –
I willed my Keepsakes – Signed away What portion of me be Assignable – and then it was There interposed a Fly –
With Blue – uncertain – stumbling Buzz – Between the light – and me – And then the Windows failed – and then I could not see to see –
I decided to start Momville after looking at all the stories I had posted in relation to my children. It’s not a self help series, it’s more of a series that shows, we aren’t perfect. Momville includes questions that come with parenting and issues with learning how to let go. I’m a mother of three girls and one of them is about to be married in six months. My youngest is 13 and many of my postings in Momville will be about raising that 13 year old and the 17 year old with their unique way of seeing life.
My youngest is a YouTube personality, she is also in tennis, theater, and choir. This is the first time we’ve had a child on a sport’s teem. My oldest daughter is pretty much a computer geek, and the middle one, wants to be a chef or an actress. She is in theater, culinary arts and her normal high school schedule. I spend a lot of time talking about mental health issues because I have that in my family. I don’t like to hide it because I know I’m not alone. Plus, I think it helps to know that others are going through some of the same situations that you might be going through. My nightly conversations all tend to be geared towards pushing down walls and letting people in.
The thing about Momville is that it’s here to remind people that we are human. I went from thinking I knew everything about being a GOOD mom to understanding that I wasn’t the best mom in the world. As a matter of fact, I was letting my job get in the way of being a mom. It took me seeing a family grieve over the death of their daughter to make me see mine in a totally unrelenting view. I knew from that moment on, there was no job greater than being the mother to my girls and being there in their times of need. So, enjoy the stories found in Momville and think of how you can make your own. Above all else, just know, we are all in this together.
My daughter and her friend went to a movie over the weekend. I like to snoop around and found this. She and her friend are hanging out in the theater playing cops and robbers! It’s safe to say no more movies will be in her near future. At least she was honest, I would have denied it! Because she can hardly been recognized, but we know our children. Thanks to Instagram for being the kid police. We are talking about this little one!
I try to be as encouraging as I can when it comes to things I talk to my children about. This is Black History Month so I thought it would be a good idea to watch some black historical shows with the girls. I found this one series on HULU called “The Book Of Negroes” I thought it sounded like a good show. After minutes went by, the girls started to get up and walk out of the room. I looked around and noticed they had an uncomfortable twitch going, so, I paused the movie.
That’s when it happened. I was bombarded with questions as to why was I watching this type of show? It’s Black History Month so I thought it would be a good idea to talk about our roots, but I should have known better. Every Black History Month we run into this same issue. I find a good movie or show to view and the children protest. So this time around they asked me something that I haven’t heard before. They insisted that watching the show made them feel sad and then they asked me, why didn’t it make me sad? I told them that it reminded me that we are here for a reason and that our people made big sacrifices so that we would be able to live in the house we live in, eat the foods we eat, walk down the streets we walk down, and sleep in late on Saturdays, if we wanted to.
They countered with, doesn’t it make you dislike white people? I answered no more than I would dislike the ones who sold our ancestors into slavery. They nodded and continued out of the room. I don’t know if they will ever be ready to learn about our history, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop trying to give little history lessons when I can. However, I can’t lie, there’s part of me starting to wonder if we maybe focus a little too much on the history and not enough on the future.
Yesterday my daughter came in with another script from her theater class. She has loved theater for a long time and I really think it has helped her work through some of her issues. However, she still gets the occasional blues in regards to being social. She talks about not fitting in and hating the fact that nobody wants to do anything with her. In her mind she’s ugly and stupid because of her ADHD. We can tell her a million times that that isn’t the case and that she’s wonderful, but she just doesn’t see it.
Anyway, back to Tuesday. As her teacher was handing out scripts, she also assigned parts for the kids to read and Ariana’s partner decided he would publicly voice his discomfort in being paired with my daughter. So, after she came home and put her bag on the table, she walked into the computer room. I asked about her school day and that’s when she told me about the little creep who pretty much stated he wouldn’t work with her.
I don’t know if I handled the situation right, but I told her not to worry and informed her that I would help her learn both lines. I know nothing about theater. I stayed away from it, but I read lines with her last night. I played the part of the guy and she mostly corrected me, because I sucked! However, she sounded great and we are going to do it again tonight. I guess my question is, should I be making her learn both lines? I mean, I just don’t want her to get a bad grade if he doesn’t want to learn his part. What do you do in this situation? Can she even benefit from learning both lines?
I’ve been following Prince Harry and Prince William’s life ever since their mother died. I can tell you where I was on that heartbreaking night of August 31, 1997. My husband had just left for a 30 day field activity in another state and I was around six months pregnant. I started having this horrible ligament pain rip across the lower part of my belly, just as the special report broke across the TV. I don’t know if it was because of the terrible pain I was in or the sadness of the situation, but I sat up in the middle of the bed with my hand on my belly, crying my eyes out. I just remember being on my knees looking at the TV crying and wondering why the heck was my stomach feeling so horrible.
I’ve often wondered what kind of women I will lead within my own household. I pray my daughters are strong, smart, funny, and caring. In many ways their path will be laid out due to the lessons I’ve taught them over the years. This is a testament for the kind of Princes that Princess Diana and Prince Charles influenced by their lives. It could also be a result of things that happened prior to Queen Elizabeth II taking the throne from her father in 1952. She has really been a strong woman and a symbol of change. This Royal family seems to be cemented in the idea of love. While there have been some issues, that every other person in the world encounters, they have managed to hold tight to family.
Prince William trilled us when he finally decided to marry Duchess of Cambridge Catherine Middleton. In many ways it was a true Cinderella Story! She was a normal girl and then one day she wasn’t. The Duchess of Cambridge had a fairly easy transition to her newly appointed life. While there would always be little pings of jealousy from those who disliked her, she would still pretty much be shielded from the bulk of the drama. Her family didn’t try to steal attention or cause waves to benefit from her marriage.
In comes the Duchess of Sussex, she’s not only common, but she’s American. She’s not only American, she’s half African American from a broken family with stars in their eyes. The Duchess of Sussex is a dream for little girls of color. She didn’t have to make out with a frog to get the handsome guy, she only had to be herself. I must go on record and tell you how much I hate the Princess and the Frog. Moving on, this relationship was set up to be the perfect fairy tale until her family started acting like evil characters from another version of Cinderella.
I went from being super happy for the Duchess to being super sad and somewhat frustrated. If I’m feeling this way from my little desk in Texas, she must be feeling it a million times more. Now her father has taken his drama to a new low, he published a letter that she wrote to him. I will not dare put it on my blog because I respect the daughter parent relationship too much for that, but I will tell you that her words melt my heart. As parents we have to do better. We should always be in protect mode and I feel like her father has demonstrated that he is now in protect self mode. I’m sending hugs to the Duchess of Sussex this morning and letting her know, it’s okay.
The birth of a person seldom happens once. It happens every time we rise from the fire.
I remember my mother once made this blueberry delight tart, but I can’t recall the name. So, this weekend I wanted to do something a little different. I want us to think back to our favorite childhood treats and share them. My mother isn’t living anymore so I can’t really give you details about the delight, but I can tell you about the ugly cake.
The ugly cake is also called the gooey butter cake. It’s rich and delicious with lots of butter and sugar. You take a yellow cake mix and prepare it as if you were going to bake it by the directions on the box. Then you take one stick of cream cheese, and a pound of powered sugar . After you mix all of that together you will layer it on top of the yellow cake mixture and let it bake for 30 to 40 min depending on the stove.
So, here’s the fun part. Post something easy and maybe we can all try something new this weekend. I don’t care what country it comes from, just post it and we will give it a go. You have to give something a try too! That’s how this works. I will open comments for this.
After I left my job as an investigator, I promised to do something that would help to bring encouragement to families dealing with child abuse. I’ve always supported the idea of keeping children within the family if possible and this book really shows how one family risked it all to do that. I would love for you to read it if you find the time, but more importantly, I would love for you to understand the issue at hand.
There are so many children in the foster care system and many of those children turn out to be victims of street life. Many of the children run and we are now finding that they are also often pursued by sex traffickers. Children in the system are at a much higher risk of being recruited into that lifestyle due to them not having a way out of the system. It is extremely hard to place teens and if that teen has any mental health issues, it’s even harder.
If anything, I want to bring awareness to the fear of being separated through the eyes of a child and how certain areas remove without trying to keep the family together. My ex boss stated that she would purposely stay away from PD’s that wanted to try to keep the children in PCSP homes which is a placement option with family members or people close to that family. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when the family isn’t an option. However, if they can prove to be good, protective, and stable for these children, they should be viewed as an option. My ex boss would staff with removal happy PD’s and I found that alarming. She actually bragged about being the removal queen and staying away from PCSP’s which meant she was moving towards the state most of the time instead on trying to check family members out.
I had many arguments with people about doing the right thing instead of the easy thing. We really need to change the system and make sure all efforts are being made to keep children within their family units if the family proves to be safe. Write to your local leaders and talk to them about reporting, updated laws, and the need for new laws while dealing with social services. Nobody should be victimized twice.