Our Children And Our Reaction To Bullying

1

My daughter was a potential threat to herself and others until we took action. Sometimes parents have to do the unthinkable so they can prevent the unforgivable. At some random school this morning, a child is hiding in the bathroom because he or she is too afraid to walk the halls due to bullying. I know it to be true because it was my daughter’s life for over a year before she was finally attacked. I’m going to try to tread very carefully while I write this, but I’m also going to be very honest. So, I warn you now, this might piss you off, but it has to be said.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

School shootings do not happen by accident. Guns do not walk into the class and fire without a person pulling the trigger. Show me a school that has death due to school shootings/suicide, I’m willing to bet that school has also dealt with a problem in regards to bullying. Bullying has lasting effects, it not only hurts the students that the harmful words are aimed at, but it also hurts people caught in the environment of the issue. I can tell you this because I know it to be true. It has taken my own daughter years to overcome the words and pain associated with bullying.

My daughter’s attack happened on a playground with nearly a dozen children surrounding her. She was rolled up in a ball and kicked over and over. The children then tried to impale her head on a steel pike. At the time of her attack four teachers were on the playground. A boy stepped in and saved her. He took her to the office and I was called. That week after we got her home she tried to commit suicide twice. After weeks or so she started acting out violently. She pushed my oldest daughter in the street and then tried to push her down stairs.

Photo by Zun Zun on Pexels.com

I remember grabbing her and putting her in the car asking what was she thinking. She told me she knew it was wrong, but that she just wanted power. She said she felt so powerless and it made her feel powerful to be able to do finally stand up for herself. Needless to say, this scared the crap out of me. We talked about her feelings and the outcome of harming others because of the pain she felt for at least 6 to 8 months after the incident. We even had to commit her for a little until we could get her to calm down.

Today, I’m glad to report that she no longer has those same anger issues, but it wasn’t easy dealing with those issues that came after the attack. After one of the school shootings we were talking and she added that she felt torn in some of the cases. She said she felt horrible about the people who died, but that she also felt bad for the person who was bullied. As a parent that watched my daughter go through so many different emotions in regards to her incident, I think it gives me a unique outlook.

My daughter didn’t shoot up a school, yet she did try to hurt her sister. Luckily, I worked in mental health, I knew the warning signs, I knew the right people, and I was able to focus entirely on her healing.

However, I do not know what I would have done, if I didn’t know some of the things that I knew at that time. Ariana was dealing with a range of emotions that we knew nothing of and most importantly we couldn’t relate to her on those levels. So, it was a lot of redirecting negative behavior and replacing negative feelings with her love for cooking. I think we went broke that year! We have to do something about bullying because it produces rage. I wasn’t going to let that rage take over my child. My daughter is now almost 18 and I can tell you that we haven’t had an episode in about three years. She has been able to make a few friends, and she’s now being a normal kid.

She told me recently that she still can’t help but think about that day from time to time, but that she’s not mad about it anymore. I know we want to make these issues about gun control, but it’s about so much more. The true weapon is bullying and it can cause mass causalities or a single fatality. We are seeing too many children commit suicide and harm each other over the feelings associated with bullying. It’s time to have real conversations about the need to revamp how schools keep records in regards to bullying.

Ariana today.

We need to hold the schools more accountable and in some cases the parents as well. After Ariana was attacked, I didn’t hear from not one of the children’s parents which is even sadder. We can do so much better.

The Green New Deal Gets A Makeover.

Apparently, there’s a revamp on the way for the Green New Deal as stated by an article in the Washington Examiner. I will post the link below. The problem with the Green New Deal was that it lacked a real explanation as to how anything could get accomplished. My husband and I both read it and we were totally confused because it read more like a fairy tale than a real way to get things done.

First of all, a lot of people are freaking out about us being in the 6th extinction. What does that mean?? Well it means the earth ended five times prior to now. Most of the species up until this last century took centuries to die off, but now we are seeing record amounts of species die off each year. So, the Green Deal wanted to pretty much replace everything with alternate energy and allow millions of people to stay home without having to work.

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/congress/senate-democrats-introduce-alternative-to-the-controversial-green-new-deal

The deal also lacked a sense of how this transition would take place. Lets say we want to go from our current form of electricity to solar. Some companies give you the option to go green, and we even tried it with TXU. I didn’t see a big difference, so we opted for free weekends. Here’s the issue, solar panels are very expensive. If the government wants to really dive into a greener planet, they need to tackle the price of alternative energy. One way to start would be to help people get solar panels.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Now another thing we would need to see, would be a REAL reduction of large cars or the ability for more to use the e85 gas. If you drive a hybrid, that would be even better. After we take care of the solar, alternate auto gas, we could then move towards different geothermal energy for heating up houses. Where do we have geothermal energy? I’m glad you asked that!! We have a lot at Yellowstone National Park and NASA is planning on drilling in Yellowstone last I heard anyway, to cool down the supervolcano, we can do something with that energy. I mean that does not cut down on everything, but the problem with the Green New Deal was that it lacked a basic idea as to how to do the things that were mentioned. There are still things that need to be worked out, but again this is a start. Some of these things have already been pushed into place.

A little information about the Yellowstone geothermal energy can be found below, in case you like science like I do.

Photo by Kerry on Pexels.com

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2018/08/news-yellowstone-supervolcano-geothermal-energy-debate-iceland-hawaii/

If we also stop building new communities out of every inch of land we see we can start helping to replenish the earth. For every community we build, we are killing a community that was home to an ecosystem which was home to a species that might die due to our greed.

Period Blues

I now have a calendar posted on my blog and I wanted to take the time out to talk about it. You will notice some weeks I do better than others. This week has been horrible and I think it has something to do with PMS. I’m so irritable right now, I want to cry for no reason, and I feel depressed. I hate feeling sad for no reason at all. I mean it’s like I know I shouldn’t be, but I just want to cry. I really hate PMS.

Does anyone else have really horrible mood swings on their cycle? This is when being a woman sucks. I wonder if men who have the sex changes get periods. I mean it would only be fair, right? The things we have to put up with when it comes to our bodies are just crazy. Yeah !

Sometimes You Have To Learn Things For Yourself.

It’s interesting when you grow up in the country. You never seem to run out of biscuits or old wives tales. My mother bless her heart was unique. She was a hard working lady who loved us desperately. She raised us the only way she knew how which was by following her old wives tales guide, to staying healthy.

#1. You couldn’t eat watermelon and ice cream. She swore instant death if you ever consumed both at the same time. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve had both because somewhere deep down in the dark pits of my mind, I hear that voice warning me of a fatal outcome.

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com
Photo by Sourav Mishra on Pexels.com

#2. You couldn’t take a bath while you were on your period. It was also a constant killer of young teens, at least that’s what I was told. So, for the first few years of having my period, I must have been ripe as those watermelons. I remember asking the school nurse about it and having her look at me like I was crazy. Needless to say, I soon started taking baths on my period, and I never died from it.

#3. You couldn’t let a man give you oral sex or it would drive him crazy. I’m guessing it was in the same box as peeing in someone’s tea or something. She told me this after I married my husband! I’m not going there, but yeah moving on.

#4. You couldn’t eat fish and ice cream. Fish and ice cream was another combination of things that would kill you, so my mommy said!! That’s another combination, I think I’ve stayed away from because somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear that voice!

The next thing really pushed us apart to be honest. I knew it was just another one of those things that she picked up from the older people, but it still hurt me. She got sick shortly after I married my husband and had my daughter. She came down with autoimmune hepatitis. We really didn’t know much about the disease or where it came from, but we knew it wasn’t something we wanted associated with my mother. Bless her heart, she swore up and down that she got it because she had been around my newborn baby at that time. She said that my husband’s blood and my blood weren’t supposed to mix and that it made her ill because she was around my baby. Interracial marriages in her mind created her sickness.

I didn’t know how to take it to be honest, so I got angry. I never told this to anyone, but it hurt me so badly that she could even think such a thing. In the back of my mind I wondered if that played a role into her not coming to help me after the birth of my second baby. I came down with a bad case of postpartum depression. I was having vivid dreams of smothering my baby. I remember calling and begging for someone to come to me because I was scared I would do something to her, but nobody came. I told my husband about the dreams and he really became my rock. I don’t know what I would have done without him in those months. Anyway it’s 3:16 in the morning and I just felt like walking down memory lane. Here’s a list of things I had to learn for myself.

One Mighty Word. LOVE

I’ve been married for almost 22 years come next month. Sometimes marriage can be easy, but then there are times when it can be very hard. Yet, I wouldn’t trade either times because they make us who we are. I got married at a very early age. My husband and I were both 20 and we got married not because we were in love, but because we hated the idea of dating.

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Dating was horrible for me, I didn’t like dealing with people who had a slight allergic reaction to the truth, so I had all but sworn dating off, until I met my husband. I remember telling him at the tender age of 19 that I wanted to get married and that I wasn’t into dating for six months to a year because those people never got married. Yes, it is safe to say, I knew it all!!!

Photo by Valeria Boltneva on Pexels.com

After the wedding “Courthouse” I soon departed the DFW to start my life as my husband’s wife. We dated only three and half months, so we really didn’t know each other as we should have. On our way to Killeen, Texas we got into an argument about race relations. Jon isn’t African American and my experiences with race were totally foreign to him. So, here we are on our way to our new place and a conversation on race starts.

He talked about being sick of hearing black people use the race card and then my ears started to ring. I was like oh no, my husband is a racist, and it’s against me!!!I remember asking why did he feel that way and then he blurted out, just what have black people done for this country? I looked at him and politely smiled. I then spent the next three hours explaining what inventions black people had made, social advancements, and foods that he couldn’t live without.

Looking back on those days I am thankful, God blessed me to find my best friend in my husband, and I’m grateful my husband listened to me on that ride home. On that road two things became crystal clear that afternoon. Marriage wouldn’t be simple and communication was a very important key. It took us two years to really fall in love, I know it sounds horrible, but it’s true. Our marriage started out being about commitment and then it turned into love. We now have both elements in our relationship which makes it easy to wake up to the same man every morning. I guess it’s true, marriage is what you make it.

Photo by Natasha Fernandez on Pexels.com

Duchess Meghan And The Need For Nostalgia!

Many years ago when I was a teenager much like my own children, I couldn’t wait to leave home. I was tired of the dirt roads, snakes, crickets, giant frogs, and most of all the little house that I called home. After I married my husband, I then started traveling with him and the military. I slowly started to see value in that little land that I used to dread. I grew to miss the greens, peach cobblers, fried chicken, and holidays which always included my mother baking chocolate pies.

Photo by JÉSHOOTS on Pexels.com

Duchess Meghan’s perhaps had that same feeling of nostalgia that only a visit from home could treat. It’s very difficult to live in a country outside of your own. The norms are different, the scenery is different, the feel is different until you find your own unique fit in with that country’s lifeline. Yes, I meant to say lifeline. The very lifeline of a person coincides with where they are located. At least that’s my opinion, but who am I?

Photo by Paul Faraday on Pexels.com

Duchess Meghan will grow to feel a certain level of comfort with the UK especially after her child arrives. I just hope the UK can let her newly appointed title Mom soak in before they start playing the scolding game. I am a sucker for love, and I feel like it really does triumph over all. However, I’m glad the Duchess has her support system across the pond right now. Sometimes it’s necessary to take a break and find comfort in the arms of those who love you. Nostalgia with action can be a great way to warm the soul.

The Day My Mother Tried To Make Me A Voodoo Accomplice.

Growing up in the South I was blessed with a real interesting type of education. I learned about witchcraft and how my mother THOUGHT she was going to get me to help her use it on my father. One morning he had come in from a late night out with his girlfriend and my mother planned the perfect payback. At least I’m guessing that’s what she thought. So my father called out and asked me to bring him a glass of tea from the kitchen.

Photo by Mareefe on Pexels.com

Well, my mother had other ideas. She wanted me to bring the tea to her first so she could pee in it. Apparently, peeing in tea would drive a man crazy. I looked at the tea for a second and then thought about my father and his guns standing against the corner. I politely blurted out, she was crazy as hell and ran to my dad. There was no way I was helping my mom put the hookie doodie on my father.