Road Map To My 22nd Anniversary

Road Map To My 22nd Anniversary
  1. Year One- Sex wasn’t the answer to all things.-Killeen, Texas.
  2. Year Two- Setting the alarm 30 minutes early was the key. Killeen, Texas.
  3. Year Three- My husband was a wonderful father. Fort Irwin, California.
  4. Year Four- Being pregnant sucks! Fort Irwin, California.
  5. Year Five- Living in a different country is easy when you are with your husband. Baumholder, Germany.
  6. Year Six- Nothing like the absence of your husband at your mother’s funeral because of war. Garland, Texas.
  7. Year Seven- Taking down welcome home signs after you learn your husband’s unit will be the first to stay beyond the allotted time in a war zone. Baumholder, Germany
  8. Year Eight- The only way to get out of the vasectomy after this pregnancy is over my dead body. Baumholder, Germany.
  9. Year Nine- Admitting that I didn’t know all I thought I knew about marriage. Savannah, GA.
  10. Year Ten- Dealing with addiction and remorse. Savannah, GA.
  11. Year Eleven- Talking to divorce lawyers because some situations are just too hard to deal with. Garland, Texas
  12. Year Twelve- Having to look my husband in the face and deal with our demons without being able to walk away. Clarksville, Tennessee
  13. Year Thirteen- Starting over. El Paso, Texas
  14. Year Fourteen- Being there through a tough surgery. El Paso, Texas.
  15. Year fifteen- Finally figuring out the Army was more of a hindrance to our family. El Paso, Texas
  16. Year Sixteen- Living with family members suck more than you know. Garland, Texas
  17. Year Seventeen- Nothing like being back on your own. Garland, Texas
  18. Year Eighteen- Transitioning from parents of young kids to parents of children old enough to date. Garland, Texas
  19. Year Nineteen- Being thankful that my husband was able to be there with me through my father’s death. Garland, Texas
  20. Year twenty- Finding my own calling is the key to my happiness. Garland, Texas
  21. Year twenty-One- Making sure we never forget those special nights. Garland, Texas
  22. Year Twenty-Two- Understand that life doesn’t last forever, so enjoy each other while you can. Somewhere in Texas!
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Wishing The Duchess of Sussex A Peaceful Transition Into Motherhood !

Wishing The Duchess of Sussex A Peaceful Transition Into Motherhood !

Now that Kensington Palace has released a message in regards to the treatment of both The Duchess or Sussex and The Duchess of Cambridge, we can now all exhale. I’m just so happy that that both women are now going to be able to get a break from some of the harsh treatment that has been thrown their way over the past months.

My daughter was a victim of bullying and I can tell you as a mother, it hurts to see your children in pain. The Duchess of Sussex was a victim of cyber-bullying. It’s perhaps one of the hardest ones to deal with because it is everywhere you turn. No matter how you feel about a person, never forget that people have feelings. Riches do not protect against harsh words and treatment. So, please remember that in your future journey. Life doesn’t have to be bitter.

Lastly, support these women like they were your sisters, daughters and best friends. A woman once told me to practice my nagging in front of a mirror before I tried them out on my husband. She insisted that if I didn’t like the way the words looked coming back at me then chances were he wouldn’t either. Maybe that’s a reason I will be married 22 yrs tomorrow. Kindness moves the world.

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Our Children And Our Reaction To Bullying

Our Children And Our Reaction To Bullying

My daughter could have been on the road to becoming a killer until we fought back. At some random school this morning, a child is hiding in the bathroom because he or she is too afraid to walk the halls due to bullying. I know it to be true because it was my daughter’s life for over a year before she was finally attacked. I’m going to try to tread very carefully while I write this, but I’m also going to be very honest. So, I warn you now, this might piss you off, but it has to be said.

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School shootings do not happen by accident. Guns do not walk into the class and fire without a person pulling the trigger. Show me a school that has death due to school shootings/suicide, I’m willing to bet that school has also dealt with a problem in regards to bullying. Bullying has lasting effects, it not only hurts the students that the harmful words are aimed at, but it also hurts people caught in the environment of the issue. I can tell you this because I know it to be true. It has taken my own daughter years to overcome the words and pain associated with bullying.

My daughter’s attack happened on a playground with nearly a dozen children surrounding her. She was rolled up in a ball and kicked over and over. The children then tried to impale her head on a steel pike. At the time of her attack four teachers were on the playground. A boy stepped in and saved her. He took her to the office and I was called. That week after we got her home she tried to commit suicide twice. After weeks or so she started acting out violently. She pushed my oldest daughter in the street and then tried to push her down stairs.

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I remember grabbing her and putting her in the car asking what was she thinking. She told me she knew it was wrong, but that she just wanted power. She said she felt so powerless and it made her feel powerful to be able to do finally stand up for herself. Needless to say, this scared the crap out of me. We talked about her feelings and the outcome of harming others because of the pain she felt for at least 6 to 8 months after the incident. We even had to commit her for a little until we could get her to calm down.

Today, I’m glad to report that she no longer has those same anger issues, but it wasn’t easy dealing with those issues that came after the attack. After one of the school shootings we were talking and she added that she felt torn in some of the cases. She said she felt horrible about the people who died, but that she also felt bad for the person who was bullied. As a parent that watched my daughter go through so many different emotions in regards to her incident, I think it gives me a unique outlook.

My daughter didn’t shoot up a school, yet she did try to hurt her sister. Luckily, I worked in mental health, I knew the warning signs, I knew the right people, and I was able to focus entirely on her healing.

However, I do not know what I would have done, if I didn’t know some of the things that I knew at that time. Ariana was dealing with a range of emotions that we knew nothing of and most importantly we couldn’t relate to her on those levels. So, it was a lot of redirecting negative behavior and replacing negative feelings with her love for cooking. I think we went broke that year! We have to do something about bullying because it produces rage. I wasn’t going to let that rage take over my child. My daughter is now almost 18 and I can tell you that we haven’t had an episode in about three years. She has been able to make a few friends, and she’s now being a normal kid.

She told me recently that she still can’t help but think about that day from time to time, but that she’s not mad about it anymore. I know we want to make these issues about gun control, but it’s about so much more. The true weapon is bullying and it can cause mass causalities or a single fatality. We are seeing too many children commit suicide and harm each other over the feelings associated with bullying. It’s time to have real conversations about the need to revamp how schools keep records in regards to bullying.

Ariana today.

We need to hold the schools more accountable and in some cases the parents as well. After Ariana was attacked, I didn’t hear from not one of the children’s parents which is even sadder. We can do so much better.