Don’t Be Afraid To Ask About Sexual Issues.

We all have our shy moments. In the beginning of my marriage I couldn’t bring myself to say penis around my husband because it made be blush like crazy. So, I would say “woo woo” or something else just because I was so uncomfortable with saying the word!! After the birth of my second child things started to change. I went from having to take Motrin after sex pre second child to not really knowing how to feel about the sexual encounter post second child.

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I would ask my husband if he was satisfied and of course he would say yes. Then he would ask me and I would lie and give the same response. After a few weeks I started to get concerned. I went for a check up one afternoon and confessed my issues to my doctor. I was like I have a problem. She turned around and asked me what was going on. I informed her that I could no longer feel my husband. It was an awkward thing to say, but I wasn’t ready to give up my sex life at 24 or 25 years old.

She performed some test with her fingers and I found out why I couldn’t enjoy sex. My muscles were shot after giving birth to my daughter. I had an episiotomy with my second child which from my understanding wasn’t all that great for my muscles. Nobody informed me how important the kegels would be after the episiotomy, so the appointment was a must. She then informed me that I needed to do like 200 kegels a day to get my muscles back to semi normal. So, me being the overachiever I am, I decided to do like 500 a day until things got back to normal.

The point is, do not be afraid to ask your doctor about things that you might be too embarrassed to bring up in the bedroom. Sex is a beautiful thing, but it’s not so beautiful if only one person enjoys it. A few years ago a woman saw a passion mark on my neck and was like do you and your husband still have sex!! I started laughing and blurted out about four times a week like normal people! Then she looked concerned, she told me she was newly married and that she and her husband only had sex once every three months. One controlling factor in her bedroom was pain. That is something a doctor would be able to help her with. So, do not be afraid to talk to your OBGYN and tell them about pain, lack of feeling or anything that you think sounds strange for your body. Enjoy life!!

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The One Thing We Have Yet To Hear

The politicians are out in numbers, but I have yet to hear anyone address the issues with social services. We have talked about the Green New Deal, Guns, but where are the conversations about revamping social services?

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One of the biggest reasons I fell out of love with being an investigator was because the state turned it into a number count game. They started emphasizing on investigations being wrapped up within 30 days and even in some cases 15. There’s real danger in playing a numbers game when you are dealing with life and death. I had this one case which was a matter of life and death. The case was centered around a mother suffering from Munchausen Syndrome. She had managed to do all sorts of things to her child for years until finally a social worker caught wind of something that seemed a bit off. When I got the case the child was in a protective environment and it was also controlled.

I had the department breathing down my neck because they wanted me to let the child out of the hospital, but at the same time, I felt like something was off. Finally the test came back and I was right. However, I still got my hand spanked when we went to trial and even managed to piss off our lawyer and the judge. Had it not been for the doctor breaking down on the stand I would have balled my eyes out, but I knew what needed to be done, so no yelling or evil eyes could stop me.

Looking back on that case, I learned a lot about people and the whole reporting process. This mother was able to do unthinkable things because she appeared to be the perfect mom on paper. She had all the right answers, and she was semi educated. Not to mention her family knew judges and other people high up in the department. Had she been from another walk of life, she would have been caught a lot sooner.

I learned that people choose and pick who they want to report. If you are poor your chances of being picked goes up a lot more than if you are rich. Keep in mind that 85 percent of the cases are bogus, so that means that only 15 percent are real abuse. If we are really only seeing 15 percent of real abuse cases called in, we have to wonder, where are the rest? People aren’t reporting abuse like they should. People are reporting annoyances at much higher rates. Some schools even give out certificates for their staff members reporting abuse.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again. The entire system needs to be revamped. There needs to be a better way of reporting child abuse and there needs to be a penalty for calling in false accusations. Perhaps child abuse needs to get a hotline similar to 911. The current system lets cases be routed anywhere from 24 to 72 hours. Perhaps, we need a system that lets people go out right away.

In cases where child abuse has occurred and the child was seen by school officials, doctors and other professionals, investigations need to be geared not only towards the parents, but also towards the people who saw these children. We need to figure out how or why things were never called in because if we are just seeing 15 percent of abuse cases, we are missing trauma.

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You Got Suspended For What?

Apparently there’s some sort of thing going on with a YouTube star called PewDiePie and his attempt to stay on top of YouTube by campaigning to keep his crown from T-Series. Remember my daughter, the YouTube upcoming star I told you about. Well, little Miss YouTube decided to go to school today and throw in her support for Mr. PewDiePie.

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She made posters and put them up on the walls inside her school. She didn’t stop there. She went on to write Bitch Lasagna on those posters which got her in school suspension for two days. So, yeah now her subscribers will see a special message on her channel.

Onward to the grounding.

Don’t Get Shipwrecked On Regret

We all have moments in our lives that forever change the way we see the world. The moment can be a chance meeting with a new love, missed chance to say I love you to an old love, or a bad decision that set you on a different path. The truth is, you may never get that situation back or the circumstances that made that situation ripe for the taking.

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I challenge you to move away from wishing you could do it all over again. Don’t look backwards, but focus on right now. You are in a small boat sailing down a large river in the middle of nowhere. The river is wide and long with rocks lining both sides of the boat. Looking backwards you now notice that the water was smooth without a hint of danger, but you now see danger everywhere. You can’t turn the boat around due to the jagged rocks on the side, so you can only keep sailing forward.

That’s life, in life we sometimes leave the things we thought were dull or too safe and jump into uncharted waters. You can’t wish yourself out of the situation, you have to make your way to land. Perhaps the situation you find yourself in right now feels scary and jaded. However, take comfort in knowing that there’s always a break in the crazy. The trick is keeping your eyes open and not losing focus on what’s important.

Prior to the trip you might have thought you wanted excitement and danger. Yet, now you see that calm provided you with something much more valuable. It provided you with what you needed in that moment to start on the next journey, called life. Everything we go through has reason and purpose. Learn to embrace the current before you find yourself shipwrecked on some tiny beach called regret.

Some years ago when I first found out we were moving to Germany, I freaked out. I had heard so many bad things about Germany and the people that I was terrified. After I made it to Frankfurt, I recall feeling so out of place. Soon my husband showed up and I walked outside the airport. I no longer felt like I had left something so precious behind, I started to see that I had just stepped foot onto something that was equally as precious in its own little way.