Growing up in the South I was blessed with a real interesting type of education. I learned about witchcraft and how my mother THOUGHT she was going to get me to help her use it on my father. One morning he had come in from a late night out with his girlfriend and my mother planned the perfect payback. At least I’m guessing that’s what she thought. So my father called out and asked me to bring him a glass of tea from the kitchen.

Well, my mother had other ideas. She wanted me to bring the tea to her first so she could pee in it. Apparently, peeing in tea would drive a man crazy. I looked at the tea for a second and then thought about my father and his guns standing against the corner. I politely blurted out, she was crazy as hell and ran to my dad. There was no way I was helping my mom put the hookie doodie on my father.