WishingWhat If Away

I’m sure transitional times are hard for us all, but I am inwardly freaking out because I do not know what to do with myself on a professional level. I know, I never EVER plan on wearing any badges again. I don’t plan on dodging anymore sledgehammers, being locked in my own car by a deranged husbands, running away from people who want to rip my face off, oh and can’t forget being warned by a former client that she wanted to take my computer and kill me with it.

I can’t leave out the Big Booty Judy guy. I was on an investigation and this guy came up from nowhere. He cornered me near my car in a position where he could have raped me. So, as he was telling me about all the things he wanted to do to me and getting closer, I asked him what house did he live in. I had to gain control of the conversation.  To my surprise, he stopped and pointed behind us. I was like okay, I can get my freaky on, show me the house and let me get in my car and finish something up and I will meet you. He was like really! By this time he started backing up away from my Jeep. I was like yeah, for sure. Minute he was far enough for me to jump in my jeep and lock the door, I jumped in and took off. That’s why I can’t go back to investigations. We had no protection, and most of the times when we called the cops they would take hours to come.

So, today I waiting for funds that are supposed to fund something. I don’t know what I want to do with that something. At this point I feel like applying to Walmarts would be easy but I can’t pass the personality assessment. I have three months to figure out what I need to do with this mess called my life, and to be honest maybe even less because I feel the helplessness and instant drowsiness creeping in now. I have either three months, or until my depression comes back.

blur chart check up curve
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

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shellzonit

Former investigator and mother of three wonderful girls. My blog is about learning how to navigate through life without placing yourself and the people you love at risk. I focus on parenting, community, and issues that define us as a nation.

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