WishingWhat If Away

I’m sure transitional times are hard for us all, but I am inwardly freaking out because I do not know what to do with myself on a professional level. I know, I never EVER plan on wearing any badges again. I don’t plan on dodging anymore sledgehammers, being locked in my own car by a deranged husbands, running away from people who want to rip my face off, oh and can’t forget being warned by a former client that she wanted to take my computer and kill me with it.

I can’t leave out the Big Booty Judy guy. I was on an investigation and this guy came up from nowhere. He cornered me near my car in a position where he could have raped me. So, as he was telling me about all the things he wanted to do to me and getting closer, I asked him what house did he live in. I had to gain control of the conversation.  To my surprise, he stopped and pointed behind us. I was like okay, I can get my freaky on, show me the house and let me get in my car and finish something up and I will meet you. He was like really! By this time he started backing up away from my Jeep. I was like yeah, for sure. Minute he was far enough for me to jump in my jeep and lock the door, I jumped in and took off. That’s why I can’t go back to investigations. We had no protection, and most of the times when we called the cops they would take hours to come.

So, today I waiting for funds that are supposed to fund something. I don’t know what I want to do with that something. At this point I feel like applying to Walmarts would be easy but I can’t pass the personality assessment. I have three months to figure out what I need to do with this mess called my life, and to be honest maybe even less because I feel the helplessness and instant drowsiness creeping in now. I have either three months, or until my depression comes back.

blur chart check up curve
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com


Published by


Former investigator and mother of three wonderful girls. My blog is about learning how to navigate through life without placing yourself and the people you love at risk. I focus on parenting, community, and issues that define us as a nation.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.