“Mom, you didn’t sign the form for our dance.” Kas held up a blank form with a pen.
“Can you at least let me get inside the house? What happened to how are you, how was your day?”
Kas backed up and withdrew the form. “Sorry, are you okay?”
“Yes, and how was your day?”
“It will be a lot better once you fill out this form.” Kas held it out once more with a devilish smile.
Children are wonderful to have, and I couldn’t see my life without them. However, moments like this make me wonder what my husband does after he arrives home. It’s me against the universe! “Does it cost money?”
Kas rolled her eyes. “You always say we have more than enough money, so what if it does?”
Me and that damn mouth, she totally took my words out of context, but arguing before I have time to reach the sofa isn’t in the cards tonight. “I’ll sign it and why is it freezing in here. I thought I told you we need to conserve energy.”
“This is what happens when you tell the kids we have more than enough money.” A smiling Jacob added as he walked into the living room with a small plate filled with taco rolls.
“Well, that’s not what I meant, but whatever.” At least the house was semi clean, the floors weren’t as clean as I would have liked, but they were swept. The sofa didn’t have any blankets or books lined up.
“How was work?”
Talking about work was tricky. I noticed when I talked too much Jacob would zone out and if I talked too little, he would pry and ask if I was leaving anything out. “It was okay, my head hurts, I will fill you in later.” Okay it wasn’t true, but again talking about work was tricky, so instead of trying to gage his mood, I would just skip over the subject all together.
Jacob walked over to the table and placed a bottle of pills on the counter. “You get a lot of headaches lately.”
“I guess so.”
“When’s the last time you went out and purchased a canvas? Are you feeling okay?”
“No, I’ll just drive to the lake tomorrow and have a walk. It will help to clear my mind.” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I saw Jacob’s smile disappear. Two months ago, I confessed about wanting to commit suicide at the lake. There were two poles just wide enough for my car to fit through, for a minute I thought about it, I even daydreamed about it. I wasn’t unhappy with my life, I was just lost and not knowing how to deal with my life. “Second thought, I’ll pick up a canvas tomorrow after work.”
Jacob walked around the corner of the bar. “I’ll get you a canvas and a box of oil paints on my way home. There’s no telling when you’ll get off, but at least tomorrow is Friday. You’ll have the weekend to paint your heart out. Are you going to shower now?”
“Perhaps a little later.” There was food in the sink and dishes on the table that still needed to be cleared. The last thing I wanted was a house like some of my clients, so cleaning the kitchen would have to come next.
“Mom, what are you doing?” Kas rushed into the kitchen with a small cup in her hand. “Go sit down, I’ll do this.”
If there’s one thing I can tell you about Kas, it’s that, it is nearly impossible to argue with her when she makes her mind up about something. So instead of arguing, I just politely walked downstairs and closed my door. My room was my sanctuary. My paintings, books and everything else that was needed to keep me mentally healthy was stored in my cave of a room. My paintings were lined against walls, placed on top of dressers and even tucked under my bed. To the naked eye, you would think an artist stayed in my house, but to those who knew me, they knew those paintings were the silencing of a storm always lurking around the corner.
After the house was silent the door slowly opened. “Have I told you how much I love you today?” Jacob stuck half of his body inside the room and smiled.
“Not in the last few hours, but who’s counting?” I laughed.
“Are you feeling better, do you need me to pick up any feminine products?”
“No, and if you are asking because you want to have sex, you need practice buddy. I need to send you to romance school.”
Jacob’s eyes grew large. “Well, we have three children, so my romance couldn’t have been that bad.”
“No, but the six pack totally helped.” His sense of humor helped too, but why tell him that? A girl must hold something back! Soon the other half of him emerged from behind the door without anything other than the skin he was born in, give one or two tattoos.
“What were you saying?”
“I don’t recall saying anything.” I pulled the covers back and reached for my phone to turn it off and noticed ten messages. “Shit, my ringer was off.”
“No, they can wait.”
“Babe, what if it’s an emergency?”
Jacob sighed and jumped into the bed nearly missing the window. “This is why I hate your job.”
“ I promise it won’t be long.” An hour later, Jacob was sleep and I was on my last phone call.