It shouldn’t be a secret at this point, we are living in a racial climate. Whether you are living in the United States or in the UK, at this point there’s no escaping race issues. So, with the weekend at our feet, I thought it would a good idea to leave you with this.
We do not have to look like each other, hold the same credentials, practice the same religion, or even use the same vocabulary! We simply need to do one thing when it comes to weathering the storm. We need to understand that underneath it all, we are all the same. We all house emotions, have goals, and live in this world.
What inspired this post, some of you might be thinking! It comes from a conversation at the dinner table that was innocent, but very telling at the same time. We do not normally gather at the dinner table for dinner unless it is Christmas or Thanksgiving. Last night we decided we would try something new because we have been finding cups in the children’s rooms. So, after the chicken was roasted, we informed the kids that we would be eating dinner at the table.
As we headed to the table and took our seats, one of the girls stated how we were being like white families. She then smiled and scooped a thing of potatoes on her plate. My husband looked at me and I in return looked back at my daughter. I informed her that when I was younger I never ate anywhere besides the dinning room. We ate dinner as a family. I didn’t know that children were seeing something like eating at the table or the lack of it, as a racial expectation. It was a teaching moment for not only us, but for the girls as well. The moment resulted in explaining that race has nothing to do with where we eat! We explained that perhaps culture played a part in what might be found on people’s plates, but that it wasn’t fair to conclude that certain groups shunned tables! Then it was on to the next topic which was about boys and sending inappropriate pictures. That’s a story for Monday! Have a great weekend.
I love being a mother, but today I was able to be a little more than just mom. I was able to be a fan of my daughters and their work! I have learned that my daughters are extremely talented. I am not sure how they picked up the talent, but they really make me proud.
My 17 yr old has decided that she wants to become a foodie! So, today was spent making a short introduction video about food. Please check it out and follow her channel below.
I’ve been struggling with something lately. This past weekend my daughter walked to the store which isn’t very far from our house. She informed us that on the way to the store a cop slowed down to a near crawl and drove beside her. She then stated that it made her nervous so the turned around and walked the other way. The policeman then turned around and proceeded to follow her in that direction as well.
Due to the cop making her nervous she decided to go to another store which ended up being a little closer than the first store she planned on visiting. As she entered the store, the cop drove away. We have had talks about staying away from trouble. She does a good job of it, to be honest. She doesn’t really go anywhere with anyone. We have covered the basics, even warned her about staying away from hoodies which is something she had on last weekend. She hates the sun! I’m feeling kind of confused and stressed about the policeman following my daughter, to be honest. I never thought I would have to explain the dangers of being a minority female on foot. We tell her to watch out for strangers, watch out for people who look jittery, but we haven’t had to talk to her about watching out for cops.
I used to bake cupcakes and bring our cops back in Garland treats to help show our appreciation. Hell, I would even go to Taco Bell and grab food just to take it to patrol cars to show how much we cared. I’m scared because the atmosphere is changing and in many ways it has changed. I told my daughter something totally different this weekend when we talked about the encounter with the officer. I told her to be careful, face the officer, and smile if he follows you. Then I started thinking about what I was saying. Why was some officer following my daughter around and is she safe here in this small town, we call home?
Just what do we tell our children about interactions with the police?
Yesterday my daughter came in with another script from her theater class. She has loved theater for a long time and I really think it has helped her work through some of her issues. However, she still gets the occasional blues in regards to being social. She talks about not fitting in and hating the fact that nobody wants to do anything with her. In her mind she’s ugly and stupid because of her ADHD. We can tell her a million times that that isn’t the case and that she’s wonderful, but she just doesn’t see it.
Anyway, back to Tuesday. As her teacher was handing out scripts, she also assigned parts for the kids to read and Ariana’s partner decided he would publicly voice his discomfort in being paired with my daughter. So, after she came home and put her bag on the table, she walked into the computer room. I asked about her school day and that’s when she told me about the little creep who pretty much stated he wouldn’t work with her.
I don’t know if I handled the situation right, but I told her not to worry and informed her that I would help her learn both lines. I know nothing about theater. I stayed away from it, but I read lines with her last night. I played the part of the guy and she mostly corrected me, because I sucked! However, she sounded great and we are going to do it again tonight. I guess my question is, should I be making her learn both lines? I mean, I just don’t want her to get a bad grade if he doesn’t want to learn his part. What do you do in this situation? Can she even benefit from learning both lines?
Justice for Janise is now trending on Twitter as a result of a brutal bullying incident that occurred in Chicago. The child being attacked by a group of girls is Janise Harris. Ms. Harris is now missing and her friends are trying to get the word out about the incident with hopes of finding her safely. If anyone knows anything about this incident, please get in contact with https://home.chicagopolice.org/.
As a parent of a child that went through a very similar ordeal, please do all you can to locate this child due to the nature of this situation. Call the cops if you have any information.
So, last week we posted my daughter’s episode for her YouTube channel and something magical happened. If you watch the video you will see her just come to life. For a while, cooking has been her coping skill especially after PTSD took over. It really helped to act as a caldron for the negative energy she was feeling.
It is so important to establish something positive when dealing with children who have been victims of bullying. We started her YouTube channel two maybe three weeks ago and since then she has stayed three nights at a friend’s house. Some of you might be like that’s not a big deal. Well, for her it was a big deal because prior to three weeks ago she had never felt confident to stay away from home, we are talking about 5 yrs of not wanting to be close to anyone other than us. Her friend was like you are 17 and never slept over anyone’s house and she was like nope!
So of course when her friend stayed over here, I might have went a little all out! I talk so much about what she has been through and this video just shows how she’s laughing and loving life. If you are dealing with children who were victims of bullying, remember being there is number one. Don’t try to push them into anything until they are ready. I might have suggested she try a food show, but it’s all her.
When I first started this blog I had just moved into this house with multiple rooms to try to furnish. If some of you are new to my blog which means you have been following me less than a year, you recall my story. If not I will do a quick refresher. My family basically went from an income of over 100000 a year to almost half of that with hopes of zeroing in on what we deemed as most important which was family.
We didn’t really downsize in the house because we couldn’t, but we had to find a cheaper way of decorating the house. We moved into this house about 1 year and four months ago. At that time we had 3.5 empty rooms which would need to be furnished at some point in the future. This is how we managed to update our house on a budget using sales and The Dollar General. We took three major areas inside our house and turned them into purpose driven rooms.
Due to the house being so large, finding furniture was a really big issue. Now that we were on a tighter budget we would have to pay special attention to sales and stores. One of the big reasons I gave up my job was because I wanted to be there for the girls. As an investigator I spent hours away from home which resulted in many 16 to 18 hour days. So, we decided that we would create a room for fun time. The room would be a central location or like a mini hub within the house.
The person in the corner is able to look into the kitchen and keep an eye on my 13 yr old’s door while the person on the other side is able to keep an eye on the area my 17 yr old would be emerging from. I like to pay attention to faces. If someone isn’t in a good mood, I want to be the first one to notice it. One of the big issues I ran into when I was an investigator was not being able to notice the simple stuff with my children because I was never home. The girls were miserable because they had an absent mom. I tried to push expensive phones and trips ever so often their way, but it didn’t really help. It didn’t hit home just how miserable they were until I found out that my 13 yr old was self mutilating. So, now that I am home, my main focus is on my girls.
With all of that said, we call this location the hub area of our home. We are still looking to upgrade the table. Finding the perfect computer table isn’t easy when there are three computers in the house. We do not believe in computers being in the rooms, so until we can find a table, the dining table is the temporary home.
So, for those of you who might be thinking oh my gosh she traded her eating table for computers! Never fear, here’s the table, right here! We managed to get it on sale from a local furniture store. I like the idea of pubs and this table kind of reminds me of Obrien’s Irish Pub down the street. So, I managed to capture it for my home!
Take notice of the dog gate because it is awesome. I needed something large enough and long enough to keep my dogs out of the guest entertaining area. It was embarrassing having to always explain tears and rips caused by my four legged babies, so when we got new furniture I had to hit Amazon up for a dog gate. Heck, I didn’t even know that gates came in any size other than for a small door, so when I found there were gates large enough to protect two doorways, I did a major happy dance. This means I do not have to explain anything else, or deal with stains on my carpet. Carpet keeps odors in so keep that in mind if you are thinking about getting a new place to live and you are a pet owner.
This shows a better picture of the dog gate. It even matches my furniture. It is large enough to keep my middle size dog from climbing over, but it isn’t 100 percent perfection. He has knocked it over once because it wasn’t positioned the right way. I do not think you can ever really protect yourself against future bathroom incidents involving pets, but certain materials make it easier to clean up. So, we do not do cloth fabric sofas. We like the idea of being able to wipe things off just in case the unthinkable becomes a reality! When it comes to carpets we go really cheap, I am talking Walmart’s 50 bucks cheap! It is much easier to replace a 50 dollar carpet than a 350 dollar carpet. Remember you are trying to have a home you can enjoy, but you are also trying to have a home that will not make you cry if something happens like an accident on the carpet.
We took three areas and turned them into safe areas for my children and pets. If you live like us, you can’t afford to be replacing stuff every year. While our pets are part of our family, we still want to entertain others who might not like the idea of our furry babies getting so up close and personal. So, the gate really does help to section off where they can roam. All of this was done under 4k.
If you are anything like me you probably watched both Prince Harry and Megan Markle marry last year. I was so thrilled to finally see race thrown to the side. Their wedding meant that color was finally a thing of the past. It was the same barrage of emotions that came after Obama won office. After Obama was sworn into office and became the nations First Black President, yes that was his title to some of us! We really thought things were getting better in terms of race relations.
Some eight years later, in walks Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. Their relationship was able to endure the challenge which eventually produced a marriage. This week we have seen reports about The Duchess of Sussex showcasing just how vulnerable she is at this moment. Perhaps it is time to call off the pointed jabs that keep poking at this marriage from people in the press.
It’s simple if you care about the Prince, you will respect his family. I never thought I would say this, but perhaps The Duchess needs to think about forgiving her father. I was in many ways, a daddy’s little girl. Even when he was at his worse he was still my father. I still needed his direction, I still needed his approval and without having those words life is different. Life is harder to decode, harder to enjoy and harder to just breathe because he is no longer in this world.
A father’s love is just that important and right now she needs all the support she can get. Women are like trees. We stand tall and firm with many beautiful branches, but not all branches carry the same weight. Some branches are stronger than others, and stand as guards when the weaker ones fall down to earth still holding the tree upright. We position ourselves with strength, cloth ourselves with integrity, and fill our insides with love. Yet, sometimes drops of poison land on the most unexpected places, it springs up to produce jagged little thorns that rip us from here and there. Sometimes we must treat that branch before it hinders the entire tree. Even a tall beautiful tree suffers from an unhealthy ecosystem, so don’t forget to treat that ecosystem that we call our environment with positivity. Walk in love always.
Leave it up to kids to come up with the most simple forms of expressing love! I’ve just finished up my lunch for today, and all of the ingredients were purchased from the local meat market down the road because my babies want to show their support. It isn’t an American market, it is a Mexican market and the only one that sells taco meat worth anything in this area.
To be honest, I couldn’t imagine the store not being here. Two weeks ago we found ourselves roaming the aisles of the Korean Market in a nearby city. Once again, I couldn’t imagine the market not being there.
In the near future I plan to go back to the Indian Market to try out new spices and see if I can find anything that beginners like myself might be able to create. In my opinion, food gives us a glimpse of who people are. It is a comforting item but so much more. In any given neighborhood around the globe there’s something beautiful to be seen. There are spices to try, new smells to smell, and bottled up warmth waiting for those who need it the most.
Perhaps that is the reason I always tell people to hold on to what they have. My mother had so many recipes and was the best cook ever. However, I didn’t get any of that knowledge from her. Our special moments and my cherished memories all go back to her cooking chocolate pies, cookies, and casseroles.
I’ve found that my daughter comes to life in the kitchen much like my mother. Her shy demeanor goes out of the window the minute she starts talking about cooking. With that said, on a different note! We decided that we will help out stores that might not get much traffic due to the fears from our government. We will be frequenting the Korean market, Mexican markets, and Indian markets because they are part of our community. I’m sure our government will figure this mess out.
As always if you want to see Ariana’s newest YouTube video check it out below.
I’m going to be really honest with you. I haven’t been looking forward to today because of what’s going on. While I might be against illegal immigration, it doesn’t mean that I do not like immigrants. I just find it unfair that so many others waited years and years upon getting citizenship the right way, and some people cheated their way in.
There are plenty of countries that have hardships and some have been having them for hundreds of years. Migration can be great, but countries must never be left vacant of citizens to carry on with their legacies. Each country has something beautiful about it and if the citizens of those countries give up on their place of birth, it will leave a void.
With that being said, I do not like what’s going on today in regards to immigration. I feel like we are taking a page from Hitler’s playbook. There has to be a sensible way of keeping the law without inflicting pain on people. It is okay to disagree about how we feel on certain subjects, but think about the trauma that will play out today on each and every house that sees the removal of a person. We should never want to see trauma inflicted upon any human in any nature. Surely, we can secure the border without causing pain and destruction.